Sunday, December 31, 2017

Trader Joe's House Blend Dark Roast Coffee

I may have already Reviewed Trader Joe's House Blend Dark Roast Coffee, but if you're reading this on New Year's Eve you can't possibly care because you'll soon be to drunk to notice. 

In any case, this is a strong coffee that fits for waking you up after that night of drinking and getting you off to work even with that hangover. Don't try drinking pickle juice. 

I mean, really, have a coffee, a tomato juice, and some eggs. That will get you through. 

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Hacienda Heights Pizza Co. Mega Meat

This here is a Hacienda Heights Pizza Co. Mega  Meat 20 inch pizza it can fill up about 700 pounds of man. I have to say this was a great pizza with chewy crust and all the meat you need to counteract a hangover. So, if you'r having your last blast tonight and need something to keep the morning 'why did I do that last night's a way then this is a good buy.  I'd order in advance for the holidays. 

Friday, December 29, 2017

Pizza Co. Cheese Bread

Pizza Co. Cheese Bread is a filler if you didn't get enough Pizza. Why you would want it I don't know, but I guess it comes sooner rather than later. Wait for the Pizza. 

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Explore Cuisine Organic Black Bean Spaghetti

Explore Cuisine Organic Black Bean Spaghetti is loaded with potassium, fiber, and protein. Oddly, it has a great texture for black bean pasta and is basically as good or better than normal pasta.

I should get more of this stuff.   

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Fence Line Farm Hot Italian Style Uncured Cooked Chicken Sausage

Fence Line Farm Hot Italian Style Uncured Cooked Chicken Sausage are a reasonably spice addition to my table. I cannot say these are hot enough to be used as a major sores of flavor, but they are strong enough to do the job. 

These things are about as healthy as sausage is going to be so long as it's made of meat and salt. That's kind of what sausage is made of. I will note that the ingredients are things that I've heard of and can get at the store. 

So, well, good job. 

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

California Premium Organic Monterey Jack Cheese

The Rumiano Cheese Company isn't big on putting it's name on this California Premium Organic Monterey Jack Cheese. I can't see why, this is good cheese. It has a sharp flavor that is both unoffensive but strong enough to be present on a mild sandwich.

I will say that this would be overwhelmed by even normal yellow mustered.  Then I think that's just Monterey Jack Cheese. 

Monday, December 25, 2017

Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread Festive Shapes

Walkers Pure Butter Shortbread Festive Shapes are an attempt to be Christmas without using the word so that folks will by them by mistake. "Festive Shapes", really, why does that pear have a face?

In any case, if you absolutely need cookies in your life these will fill the bill but they are more about what you dip them in than what they are made of.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Trader Joe's Gingerbread Coffee

If you were hoping to add some spice to your holiday with Trader Joe's Gingerbread Coffee you'll need to do so with a great deal of sugar or hard eggnog because this is a poorly conceived brew that has little resemblance to the food of its namesake. 

The ginger is dull and tastes chemical in nature and the other spices are undetectable. Give this a pass or sugar the hell out of it.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Renaissance Black Forest Ham

Renaissance Black Forest Ham is okay. It's everything that I expect from a black forest ham. That isn't all that much. I have to say that I don't have high expectations for black forest ham. We do so much do make ham feel better even as it has been the meat of the poor since the early days of the United States. 

I honestly think Black Forest Ham is just a fancy name for ham. That said, I ate this stuff so fast that it didn't have time to get gamy in my refrigerator. I can't argue, it's good stuff. 

Friday, December 22, 2017

Tina's Bean and Cheese Burritos

Tina's Bean and Cheese Burritos are not bean and cheese burritos. They are bean burritos, because I can't taste any cheese in there. You really need to add some flavor to these because they are rather bland. 

I will also need to point out that there were uncooked bean fragments in these that you wind up chewing on. All and all, these are the bean equivalent of white bread. Could be they have a good amount of fiber but these will keep you alive rather than make you feel satisfied.  

We should send these to starving people. 

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Hacienda Heights Pizza Co Cheese Bread

Hacienda Heights Pizza Co.'s Cheese Bread is boring. It has almost nothing worth talking about. The big thing to understand is that if you're going to Hacienda Heights Pizza Co. they have big pizzas that taste great and this cheese bread is just something to have to fill you up so you can eat less pizza. I mean, why?

Ball Park Hot Dog Buns

Ball Park Hot Dog Buns are an American favorite...let's not forget that this is an America that elected a giant orange Muppet president. I don't trust this America dude. He makes bad decisions. 

These Ball Park Hot Dog Buns are small and white. The hot dog doesn't fit in them well and the condiments go spilling out of them when you try to eat them. 

I will say that these are not wholly without redeeming qualities. They do have Calcium and Iron. Nutrients are a good thing, but I look these buns like I look at the current United States Government. I mean, I know we need one but can't we do a little better? 

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Mocha

Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Mocha are a brand merger that makes about as much sense as one of the President's speeches. How lazy do you need to be to have pop tarts over doughnuts?

In any case, these are great for dunking if you can get over the whole 'why am I not having doughnuts' thing. They tastes mostly like hot fudge pop tarts with a little of a coffee flavor which is useless when you dunk them in coffee.  

I don't know, I mean, I could take them or leave them. 

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Oroweat Whole Grain 100% Whole Wheat Hamburger Buns

Oroweat Whole Grain 100% Whole Wheat Hamburger Buns have a very long annoying name. Come on, Oroweat, did you need to put whole grain and whole wheat in the name. 

In any case, these need to be toasted for best consumption and they are more flavorful and more hearty than normal buns.  I will admit that 5 grams of fiber and 9 grams of protein are good numbers.

These are not as soft as normal buns so we pansy Americans may not like them all that much. 

Monday, December 18, 2017

Bear Naked Cereal Sweet Honey Clusters

Bear Naked Cereal Sweet Honey Clusters has got to be okay for you because I can't taste the honey. This is not a bad thing but more a, well, 'don't sugar yourself to death' thing. 

If you want me to tell you this is good cereal I can't say it's top of my list but then I'm not big on cereal. Mix this with your oatmeal and it will become more palatable. 

All and all, not a bad buy. 

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Pho Whittier Pho Dac Biet (1. House Special Noodle Soup)

I was dining with a friend at Pho Whittier when he insisted I try some of his Pho Dac Biet. This is a soup of many meats with a strong cilantro flavor. I'm not big on tendon or tripe which are both in this soup. For that reason I would never order this on my own, but if I were served it at the Gulag I wouldn't be upset. That is to say, this is good food that simply doesn't appeal to me because of my Hebrew roots. My loss is your gain. It's cold outside. Have some of this stuff to warm up.  

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Perry's Ice Cream Pumpkin Spice Latte

Perry's Ice Cream Pumpkin Spice Latte is what you get when you forget the pumpkin spice. I mean it, I couldn't taste any pumpkin spice in this stuff. 

There was caramel and the coffee flavor was just too mild. How do you fail ice cream!

Friday, December 15, 2017

Rick's Drive in and out Fries

Rick's Drive in and out Fries are fries. I'm reviewing them because I review everything, but there is very little to review. They are not good or bad, just simply they exist. 

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Raybern's Pizza Supreme

Raybern's Pizza Supreme is the best super lazy sandwich I've ever had. . . how many super lazy sandwiches have I had? At least a dozen. 

In any case, I had one of these and then less then two ours later had the other one. That means you should never buy them because you'll never stop eating them. 

These are bad for you at 700 calories a sandwich  and a good amount of that is fat. I don't even want to think about the salt. 

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Fence Line Farms Three Cheese Uncured Cooked Chicken Sausage

Fence Line Farms Three Cheese Uncured Cooked Chicken Sausages are disgusting. Cheese may be fine on a sausage but it is not fine in a sausage. The result is a hard to cook link that gets slimy inside. 

Now I will grant that these are individualy rapped and easy to open. They keep well, and last a long time, but that doesn't make up for the tasteless gloppy nature and the pain in your gut after eating these. 

What these need are more herbs and less cheese. That said, I got another flavor of these so I'll try them soon. 

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

GALSHOT Energy Shot

GALSHOT Energy Shot is an energy shot for the casual user. For a crazy fellow like me who weighs 25 stone and takes these often it will have very little impact, but it will do something. 

Monday, December 11, 2017

Kellogg's Special K Pastry Crisps Red Velvet

Kellogg's Special K Pastry Crisps Red Velvet is a long name for chocolate biscuits. That's what these are, that's all red velvet is, chocolate and red food coloring. 

In any case, I got to boxes of these and they are okay. I wouldn't expect them to satiate your hunger. Have an apple before you eat one of these...may be just have the apple and eat one of these only when you really deserve a treat.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Little Beijing Rice Noodles

I could hear the salt crunching in my teeth as I ate Little Beijing rice noodles. They tasted like old fish. I mean, what the...I think I just got some bad noodles. 

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Calina's Original Pizza Deluxe Pepperoni, Beef, Italian Sausage Piroshki

Calina's Original Pizza Deluxe Pepperoni, Beef, Italian Sausage Piroshki are about as good as their chicken counterparts but will linger longer on your breath.  

Now, I'm 25 stone so I have two of these with a pound of vegetables. I heat them first in the microwave then put them in the oven for 15 minutes to get them crisp.

All in all these are an okay and fast food that can be had with a balanced diet.  

Friday, December 8, 2017

Cal-Maid Grapefruit Juice

Well, crazy pink stuff is not something I normally drink but this was a gift. Tastes like grapefruit, good deal.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Town House Pita Sea Salt

Town House Pita Sea Salt are the most basic chips you can get. The only thing you can take away from these is the salt. 

Well, chips are for dipping so they do their job. 

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Kirkland Signature 100% Colombian Coffee

Kirkland Signature 100% Colombian Coffee is a robust dark coffee that get's you up in the morning. The only big thing is that I don't know if it is responsibly sourced and I think they can't grow enough food to feed the people in Colombia. Makes me think as I drink my coffee.  

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Krusteaz Blueberry Waffles

Krusteaz Blueberry Waffles are a thing I would never intentionally buy. I got these by accident. I'm not a big fan of blueberries. 

That said you don't notice the blueberries so why have blueberry waffles. I mean, look, I don't like raisin cookies but if you're buying them it has to be because you like raisins, no? 

I mean, be what you tell the world you are and all. 

Monday, December 4, 2017

Centrella Mixed Vegetables 16 oz

Centrella Mixed Vegetables is a pack of vegetables that comes with Lima Beans. Lima Beans are a big thing for me and given that I will eat a whole pound of these vegetables in one meal they are a big part of my buying these things. What ever happened to getting Lima beans in a bag.

Anyway, these have salt so they are not as good as they can be, but they have Lima Beans so that makes up for it to me. 

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Pho Whittier Number 78 Bun Ga Nuong, Tom Nuong Cha Gio

Pho Whittier  Number 78 Bun Ga Nuong, Tom Nuong Cha Gio is a dish on Vermicelli noodles and brimming with all kinds of food. 

I had no idea this would be so filling but it was hard to finish, because of all that Vermicelli and vegetables.  I Could have done without those onions, but then I don't like onions. 

Over all, great meal. 

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Steak-Eze Cheeseburger

Steak-Eze Cheeseburgers are one of those things you buy because you don't have a lot of time to cook. As you can see the burger on the box is very little like the one that comes out of your microwave. 

Are these bad for you, yeah, but mostly if that's all you eat. You should stay clear of those kinds of things if you can, but if you can't make sure to have these with vegetables. The Vegetables will keep the business flowing in your guts. 

After that, I thought these were fine.

Friday, December 1, 2017

The Habit Burger Grill Bourbon BBQ-Spiced Fries

The Habit Burger Grill Bourbon BBQ-Spiced Fries should be served with a fork. They are not half as good as good old fries with ketchup and you get your fingers all nasty. Epic Fail!

Thursday, November 30, 2017

The Habit Burger Grill Bourbon Bacon Golden Chicken Sandwich

The Habit Burger Grill 'Bourbon Bacon Golden Chicken Sandwich' is a sight to behold. It's not as good as it looks. Yes, you get a lot of chicken and that spice sauce is something, but it dripped all over my shirt. 

In any case, this is impressive to look at and nothing more. 

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

The Habit Burger Grill Strawberry Malt

The Habit Burger Grill Strawberry Malt is a mild so and so not worth getting unless you really really like malt. That is not to say I didn't enjoy this malt but it was fattening without being wonderful. 

May be I'm just feeling the pounds or I'm sick of my scale getting mad at me. Well, I'm too fat but if your skinny go ahead and have one of these. 

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Whittier Village Cinema Hot Dog

Like the movies in theaters today the Hot Dogs at Whittier Village cinema are nothing to speak of. I mean honestly, if you're going to be expensive you should try really hard to be good. 

Monday, November 27, 2017

Calina's Original Chicken, Rice, and Cheese Piroshki

Calina's Original Chicken, Rice, and Cheese Piroshkis are made to survive the hard winter of mother Russia. They have almost no cheese and the rice is pointless given they are encased in bread.  Drop one of these in the microwave and you get a soggy snack for study time that will get you back to the books once you wash your hands. 15 minutes in the oven and you get a crisp frozen chicken sandwich.

I nuke um' then bake um. That gives me something hot all the way through and crisp on the outside. Toss yourself a pack of frozen vegetables in the microwave for a good seven to eight minutes and have this with a glass of water and you got a not to nasty meal.

Who am I kidding, you'll have one of these soggy with a Monster or Rock star Energy drink.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Whittier Village Cinema Popcorn

Whittier Village Cinema Popcorn is the popcorn you get at a movie theater. It's salty and yellow and tastes great but gets everywhere.  Also, you shouldn't eat too much of this because it's bad for you. 

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Raybern's Ham & Cheddar Sandwich

Raybern's Ham & Cheddar Sandwichs are a meal of desperation or perhaps something that belongs in a vending machine. I was really reluctant to buy these given that any idiot can make a ham sandwich.

I think these came on sale because the college students were in finals and these are a lifesaver for someone who needs every second to cram more facts into their head. 

Anyway, these are poorly put together with all the meat in the middle. They get soggy so you need to turn them on their top the cook them unless you want to get your hands all nasty. You can't really eat them at the computer unless you want to get cheese on your keyboard.  

That said, the poor lost souls that eat these will eat them no matter what I think so take a multivitamin when you scarf one of these deathwichs so you can remember all those bio facts and impress that shark loving troll for a professor. 

Friday, November 24, 2017

Hillshire Farms Uncured Polska Kielbasa

Hillshire Farms Uncured Polska Kielbasa is a salty meat that keeps well and can be had at every meal. It his not good for you as most processed meats are by nature deadly but they kill me so good. 

This is a mild sausage. You're not going to clear your nose with it so don't bother getting a pack if you have a cold. On the other hand if you've had so much turkey that you're starting to sound like one reach for this and it will set you right. 

I love this stuff. 

Thursday, November 23, 2017

First Street Young Turkey

It's Turkey day for the U.S.A. and so we all have ourselves a bird but if your like me then you wait until after Christmas to by a few of these birds which will be waiting around for you at Smart & Final.

After a good amount of time on ice this First Street Young Turkey cooked with red wine was totally off the wall. I'd get more but I still have two in my big freezer.

What, I'm fat, you figure I'd have a turkey or two on hand. 

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Trader Joe's Turkey Gravy

If you're running late and need to get that turkey day all together you may just want to pick up a carton of Trader Joe's Turkey Gravy. It's gravy in it's simplest form without flavor or satisfaction. 

You'll need to ad something to this to make it worth eating. 

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Rick's Drive in & out Taquitos

If you want Taquitos at Rick's Drive in & out you can get just Taquitos. If you want more than that you need to order the Taquitos dinner. 

So, how are these, good. I mean, I could have used more of them but I guess I could have ordered more. 

Monday, November 20, 2017

Rick's Drive in & out Chicken Tenders

Rick's Drive in & out Chicken Tenders are just there. Buy only if you love chicken tenders and want to dip them in sauce. This is so very American it's almost British.  

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Rick's Drive in & out Zucchini

Rick's Drive in & out Zucchini is about as basic as it can be. I didn't even taste salt on the zucchini making it very bland and in need of dipping sauce. This is not to say that it wasn't good it was just a vehicle for dipping sauce.

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Krusteaz Buttermilk Waffles

Sounding like something from a TV show with yellow people in it 'Krusteaz Buttermilk Waffles' are small toaster waffles you have to pry apart before you cook.

It's hard to review something that tastes like every other thing of it's nature. Frankly, if you nibble your cat's paws after it uses the bin you don't care too much about which litter is in your mouth. 

Still, I mean, these taste fine and if I didn't buy them strictly for my review of "Stranger Things" Season 2 I would buy them again. 

Friday, November 17, 2017

Core Organic Energy Lemon Ginger

Core Organic Energy Lemon Ginger really has a citrus flavor. What it lacks is the kick to keep you going. Don't get me wrong, if you just need a boost in your day this hippy urine will do, but if you need to keep the old peepers open for work this just wont have the punch.

If I had any more of this stuff I'd drink it before bed to put me to sleep. 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Rick's Drive in & out Turkey Burger

Rick's Drive in & out Turkey Burger is not made from one of the turkeys that run our country...or are those pigs now. In any case, it's just what it says it is a turkey burger. 

I can't say much else about it. I mean, Rick's Drive in & out is very American.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Rick's Drive in & out Chile Fries

Rick's Drive in & out Chile Fries are different. They could be served hotter. All and all I think these are okay, but I'm not saying they're great.  

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Bakery Fresh Dutch Cocoa Cookies

Bakery Fresh Dutch Cocoa Cookies taste like almost nothing. They are moist and soft but otherwise flavorless. Sooooo disappointed.