Sunday, October 22, 2017

First Street Candy Corn

If you want to see a child's eyes light up as you slowly poison them get yourself some First Street Candy Corn this Halloween. 

I can stand this stuff but only just, and I think it's just basically sugar. Well, candy is a low bar to get over. Sugar, food coloring, and, well, that's all you need. 

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Sour Patch Kids

Sour Patch Kids are a sour flavored wine gum or gum drop loved by fat kids and internet movie reviewers everywhere. I will have to say that these stand out as a unique fruit flavored candy that is great to have in concert with other candy for it's pallet cleansing properties. 

They are still bad for you, but they got style. 

Friday, October 20, 2017

Nestle Seriously Strawberry Nerds

Nestle Seriously Strawberry Nerds are a tart lump of sugar with very little strawberry. I have to ask it the seriously was added because someone didn't believe that there was much in the way of strawberry in there candy. 

My understanding is that you get really into Nerds or they do nothing for you. As for me, these little things get everywhere and no matter how I eat them I don't like them much.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Hershey's Kisses Pumpkin Spice

Hershey's Kisses are some of the greatest candies of all the world. The Pumpkin Spice version are things you should only eat if you are starving and have no other form of food. I dump these in my coffee to get rid of them.  

You would expect these to be pumpkin spice chocolate but you'd be wrong and the combination of oil and corn syrup makes for a lesser candy that should never have been torn from the pit of human imagination. 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Monster Punch Mad Dog

'Punch' is a group of flavors in the Monster Energy line and 'Mad Dog' is what would happen if Monster where used to make grape Kool Aid. So, it reminds me of grape pez, I have never understood pez or why monster tastes like it, but if there is a thing as grape pez then this reminds me of it.   

Past that, this worked as well as monster works. 

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Sbarro Sausage, Pepperoni and Bacon Stromboli

Sbarro Sausage, Pepperoni and Bacon Stromboli is on the bland side for haveing sausage. I will point out that this food cries "Merica" before getting grease on your shirt and jumping down your face making you want more. 

Monday, October 16, 2017

Sbarro Mushroom Pizza

Sbarro Mushroom Pizza looks better than it is. That is not to say that it is bad it just looks kickn' when it's just good. 

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Stone Oven BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich

Stone Oven BBQ Beef Brisket Sandwich is one of those really great sandwiches. Crisp Onions, BBQ sauce and the like. I feel it could have really benefited from some toasted quinoa but that's just me. 

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Power Bar Protein Plus Bar Chocolate Peanut Butter

Power Bar Protein Plus Bar Chocolate Peanut Butter is a crappy candy bar. I guess people like to eat these now but I like my Power Bars disgusting so I only eat them when I workout ... which is almost never. 

Friday, October 13, 2017

Choco Vine Espresso

Dude, Choco Vine Espresso is chocolate Baily's Irish Cream! Buy! Buy!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Slim Jim Bacon Jerky Maple Flavored Bacon Jerky

Slim Jim Bacon Jerky Maple Flavored Bacon Jerky gets bacon on the cover as much as they can. I mean look at that. "Bacon Jerky" "Maple Flavored Bacon Jerky" well, we know there is bacon in it right. I mean, can you be sure? 

In any case, it tastes okay. 

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Sbarro Salad

Salad is not lettuce and croutons. This Sbarro Salad is as not salad as it can be without not looking like salad. I mean, come on, throw something in there like carrots or tomatoes.  

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Sbarro Meatball Pizza

Sbarro in general reheats it's pizza so take into account that this has been reheated and is not fresh. That said the meatball pizza is a great idea. Definitely a win.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Mountain Dew Voltage

Mountain Dew Voltage is better than the original in that it does not look like urine. Not looking like something that came out of a dogs dork is definitely a good thing. 

I would even call it a less intrusive flavor. I had most of this with vodka and it worked well so if your getting the party started then reaching for this is a good move. 

Past that I can take it or leave it. 

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Yoshinoya Beef Bowl Large

Do you want the lowest quality beef to come exclusively from a cow? Well, Yoshinoya Beef Bowl is just what you've been looking for! Don't eat this, it half made me sick and half made me want to eat somewhere else. 

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Veri Organic Low Calorie Cola

Veri Organic Low Calorie Cola is one of those products that you want to be good. You want it to be good so bad, but it's not good, because normal soda is so much richer. 

If you're going to have this use it to keep your kids away from soda or have it with a sweet alcohol. 

Friday, October 6, 2017

Good Thins The Beet One Balsamic Vinegar and Sea Salt

Good Thins 'The Beet One' 'Balsamic Vinegar and Sea Salt' are some crazy hipster food that should be healthy. Are they? Meh, still a carbohydrate. 

These chips are slightly sweet but on the whole neutral enough to take most flavors. I will say if you don't get your vegetables in I think these are better than nothing and better for you than plain crackers but not as good for you as real beets.   

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Forking Good Cafe Breakfast Pizza Green Eggs and Ham

A few days before I walked into Forking Good Cafe in uptown Whittier California I was asked if I would try "Green Eggs & Ham". Well, yes I would, Sam I Am.

Then I opened up the Forking Good menu and there it was telling me to put my money where my mouth is. This was great. 

I will say the greens were a bit much and had to be eaten before I finished the pizza rather than on slice. There was an egg in the middle that was runny. All in all, this was a new dining experience for me and I don't get those often. 

Good Show! It was Forking Good!

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Forking Good Cafe Churro Latte

Forking Good Cafe's Churro Latte is a thing that exists. It was oddly pedestrian for being a Latte, but my brother liked it so much he had a second one. Me I can't see the appeal of spending more then four bucks for a coffee that tastes like sugar and cinnamon. I'm one of those odd folks who like coffee to taste like coffee.  

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Forking Good Cafe Water

Forking Good Cafe in Uptown Whittier California serves water in these jars. This could be good. This could be bad. I'd ask for some ice if I were you. As for me, I was too busy checking out the waitress. 

Monday, October 2, 2017

Core Organic Energy Pomegranate Blue Acai

Core Organic Energy Pomegranate Blue Acai is a fruity beverage that will not keep you up at night. It may give you a boost but not like Monster or Rockstar. What you're looking at here is fruit punch that will get you going if you don't like vegetables.  

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Stuft Pizza The Pearly White

Stuft Pizza in Whittier California serves a Pearly White pizza topped with tomatoes that is oddly satisfying for not having meat. It is the kind of pizza that will haunt your dreams.

Stuft is a premium pizza place that  charges more so be ready to pay if you're getting this for your Halloween party but definitely get one. Once slice of this pizza will give you cheesy dreams of garlic and olive oil. 

Saturday, September 30, 2017

Stuft Pizza Traditional Stuft Sticks

Stuft Pizza's "Traditional Stuft Sticks" are basically a small pizza without sauce. There is very little to this, but it is good. The only real complain is that this is bland, but it comes with dipping sauce so dip away and enjoy.  Or you can order something with more imagination. Do what you want. I'm an internet reviewer not a cop.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Triple Decker Cheeseburger


"Merica," cries my "Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Triple Decker Cheeseburger" as I try to fit it in my mouth. "Merica," it cries as I get it all over my face. "Merica," it cries as I try to keep it down as I walk the fair grounds.

Even when you look at the advertising they didn't bother to cook the meat for you ask yourself why anyone would eat this monstrosity.  

The sad thing is that I think this could have been very good it they had cooked it right and melted the cheese. Still messy, mind you, but good. Eat only if you have a restroom near to clean yourself up. 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Alpha Wolf Passionfuit Pineapple

My Alpha Wolf Passionfuit Pineapple is passed it's best by date which should explain the urinal air like smell and flavor of this drink. On the up side I have never tasted a drink that so perfectly describes the feeling of standing in an old gas station restroom.

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Blue Sky Soda Cane Sugar Cola

Blue Sky Soda Cane Sugar Cola has no caffeine! Why would you drink cola with no caffeine? 

I'll admit this is better than Shasta Cola but not as good as name brand sodas. If you like trying new things then this will work for you, but it will never replace RC.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Log Cabin Syrup

"No high fructose corn syrup" says the label of this bottle of Log Cabin Corn Syrup crud that I got at my local Costco. This bland sugar water is hardly worth putting on my French toast.

This is thin like real maple but bland and flavorless.  

Monday, September 25, 2017

Jed's Hard Back Cherry Cream

What is it with cream soda? What makes it cream. I don't see any cream. This stuff is burgundy. Jed's Hard Black Cherry Cream is the right color for black cherry but the wrong taste for good drinking. 

As a soda this falls flat and as a wine cooler or hard drink it also falls flat. There are a good deal of better Jed's than these to drink. In fact, I think this is my least liked Jed's so far. 

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Blue Sky Seltzer Natural Lime

Blue Sky Seltzer Natural Lime can use some more lime. I grant that seltzer is not supposed to have a strong flavor but you're just not drinking this right without adding a lime wedge. 

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Olive Garden Dolcini Chocolate

Olive Garden Dolcini Chocolate is one of those things that people complain about with Olive Garden. It is just too bland to be a reasonable dessert. 

Friday, September 22, 2017

Olive Garden Shrimp Scampi

So, when I read the menu it said that Olive Garden Shrimp Scampi was tossed with asparagus, tomatoes, and angel hair pasta. There are may be two whole spears of asparagus in this which is not enough to really mention. 

This is more pasta than it should be for the vegetables, but the shrimp is shrimp. It has that much going for it. 

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Olive Garden Salad

As you can see, Olive Garden Salad is served in a bowl way to big for itself to give it more confidence. As salads go this one is good enough, but I sat at a table with two people who rarely eat salad and we ate at least two bowls full.

I'll grant you that munching on this is a good thing but keep in mind that this salad is all iceberg and no dark greens. It really isn't that great for you. I would give it more points if it came with kale or spinach. 

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Olive Garden Pick Three Appetizer

 Olive Garden Pick Three Appetizer is one of those things I can't stand. You get less than you would if you just ordered an appetizer and fewer people can get the whole experience. Order this if you can't commit. 

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Olive Garden Mixed Berry Sparkling Water

Olive Garden Mixed Berry Sparkling Water is an oddly unsweetened beverage that infused the flavors of all kinds of stuff that will fail to infuse for any number of reasons. Those leaves need to be in the water longer. The blueberries won't infuse unless they get cut and I don't even know what that red stuff is at the bottom.  

In the world of epic fails I have to say this is high on the list. I should have just ordered water which would have been better for me and would have cost less. 

You could say that this has antioxidants but why not just eat a salad? you could say it has nutrients not found in other foods you buy, but not in large enough amounts to make a difference. 

All in all, this just looks pretty. 

Monday, September 18, 2017

Venom Energy Black Cherry Kiwi

Venom Energy Black Cherry Kiwi is that drink that no one wants to pick in the cooler until it's the only thing left. Then you drink it and say, well, it's not that bad. 

I really think this is a monster in a different can and most Venom flavors are named after a snake. These on the other hand just have the flavor name and that tells us that someone goofed or ran out of ideas. 

So there you have it, works like a monster, tastes like you would expect.  

C2O Pure Coconut Water

C2O Pure Coconut Water is good coconut water. I mean that, sweet but not too sweet, it has just the right amount of flavor. Great stuff. 

Now if only I can figure out that dumb name. 

Sunday, September 17, 2017

The Habit Burger Grill Sweet Potato Fries

The Habit Burger Grill Sweet Potato Fries are a fresh take on an old classic. I have to say that if you haven't had sweet potato fries you need to try them and normally you can only get them at a more expensive restaurant than 'The Habit'. 

If I didn't need to keep writing reviews I'd make a habit out of these. 

Saturday, September 16, 2017

The Habit Burger Grill BBQ Bacon Charburger

The Habit Burger Grill BBQ Bacon Charburger is okay. Not great, mind, but okay. I found this kind of dry to be honest, but it was a burger worth eating. 

Friday, September 15, 2017

Margaritaville Premium Jamaican Dark Rum

As Rum goes I know nothing about rum. Margaritaville Premium Jamaican Dark Rum is the second rum I've tried in my life and I don't think much over it as a shot. I take vodka over rum as this rum as a strong but unpleasant flavor.

Long story short, have this with something because it's hard to drink in it's own.  

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Van de Kamp's Parmesan & Roasted Garlic Tilapia

Van de Kamp's Parmesan & Roasted Garlic Tilapia is a good bit of fish if you can get passed the lack of Roasted Garlic or Parmesan. It's just breaded fish really and you'll need to add your own flavor. I originally got this because it looked kind of on the healthy side and now I get it because it's cheep.

This makes a great wrap if you cook it right and is really worth eating. Just don't expect it to taste like Parmesan & Roasted Garlic. 

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

California Grill Fish and Chips

California Grill Fish and Chips needs more fish to go along with those chips. I mean, that is not a lot of fish. Other than that it's okay. 

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

California Grill Quesadillas

California Grill's Quesadillas are made by white people. I'm not saying that just because someone is white, like me, that they can't make a good quesadilla, but these miss the queso part. I like queso in my quesadilla. 

After that, well, let me just say that there are better things on the menu than this appetizer.  

Monday, September 11, 2017

Belching Beaver Brewery Peanut Butter Milk Stout

Belching Beaver Brewery Peanut Butter Milk Stout is approved by my cat. He didn't drink any but he wanted to. 

In any case, this is a slightly bitter brew with a smooth finish and a thick head. I like it. I've gone and gotten more after this pack. Great stuff. 

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Coast Long Beans

Do you have any idea how hard it is to get long beans in California? I love these things but they don't last long so get as many as you're going to eat in three days.

Past that, they are vary long, crisp, and go with everything.  

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Kraft Stove Top Stuffing Mix Traditional Sage

Kraft Stove Top Stuffing Mix Traditional Sage tastes nothing like sage. It says it in the name, but it just tastes like bread crumbs.

If you're going to fail at the one thing you set out to be what are you? ... an actor!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Islands Ice Cream Sundae

Islands Ice Cream Sundae is as basic as you get in the sundae department. I think the chocolate would have been better if added after the other toppings.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Islands Maverick

Islands Maverick makes no mention on the menu of that spaghetti stack of onions. I mean, you read the menu and order this and get something that looks nothing like what you ordered. 

Well, look at that burger, it's on the dry side.  

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Islands Cheddar Fries

Islands Cheddar Fries normally come with scallion onions but my brother ordered it without them because I can't eat raw onions. 

In any case, if you're going to order this order it for more than two people because it's a full meal. After that it's on the bland side and the cheese is melted but not scorched so it's not something all that interesting. 

Good for a group, bad for your figure, and it will get you oily. 

Monday, September 4, 2017

Islands Ice Tea

Islands Ice Tea is the most photogenic tea I've ever had. I mean, look at that. I just took the picture. After that, tastes like tea.