Oscar Myer Chicken, Beef, Pork Baloney

Oscar Myer Baloney was my go to lunch meat as a kid. I don’t know if it was this everything but the farm’s dog kind, and this doesn’t taste right to me so I don’t think it was. I couldn’t say what kind I got back then because my mom had passed an the old man would just take me to the store to buy what I wanted.

This has less flavor than the Baloney I had as a kid, but I did have that with white bread that had almost no flavor to go with it at the time.

Truth be told, I guess one should have low expectations of baloney. It’s the food of the poor to start with in a country where even the poor can have meat. Makes me remember how lucky I am and how ugly the world can be.

 

Hillshire Farm Beef Lit'l Smokies Smoked Sausage

I have never understood cocktail wieners. What does one really do with them. If I had a dog I guess they would be okay as dog treats. These Hillshire Farm Beef Lit'l Smokies Smoked Sausage are salty little things with enough oil to leave a thick slick in the pan. 

I had trouble getting them cooked to my liking, but I guess they were okay. My cats didn't think much of them.  

I wouldn't get these again. 
 

Boston Market Country Fried Beef Steak

 As you can tell Boston Market Country Fried Beef Steak looks nothing like the box. It mostly looks like a lump of mashed potatoes. the white grave just blends in. 

These things are a bad idea as the country fried batter just turns into mush when frozen. The execution is not much better with beef being a thing cut of beef skirt that is so old and stringy you would think it came from a milk cow. 

I mean, this is edible and I would be fine with having a few more in my freezer but I wouldn't, buy them at full price. 

El Monterey Beef Tamales

El Monterey Beef Tamales are hand rapped in real corn husk ... as if that were a big thing. What else would you wrap a tamale in?
 

Most frozen tamales are sad shadows of the real thing, but these are close to the real thing. Not as good as, but close. They still need to have more grit to them and real tamales have that little bit that gets between the corn husks. 

So, very close, very good, but still just not perfect.

Taco Bell Loaded Beef Flatbread Taco

 The Taco Bell Loaded Beef Flatbread Taco was a short lived item on the Taco Bell menu which was marginally better than a soft taco. I mean, I liked  it but not that much more than the soft tacos and this made you burp it's flavor for hours afterwards.  

I talked to the girl at Taco Bell, and she said that you can still order the parts for this and make it yourself. I had no idea it was a thing at Taco Bell. I had no idea people would miss a Taco Bell item, because I had no idea people thought about Taco Bell that much.

I mean, It's Taco Bell. I thought most people walked up to Taco Bell and were like "I'm stoned, what can I get for three fifty?"

Sun Fed Ranch Beef Sloppy Joe in Sloppy Joe Sauce

 Sun Fed Ranch Beef Sloppy Joe in Sloppy Joe Sauce tastes oddly of vegetables and brown sugar. It is not a Sloppy Joe, to be clear, it is sloppy Joe mix without a bun. Heat it how you like and slap it on whatever you want to, but to me this stuff is low on beef and high on onions.

I don't know what I was expecting given that "Sloppy Joe" sounds like a man who gets tied to a toiled in prison facing the bowl with his pants down, but this is just gross. Fail!

Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Bagel Dogs

 Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Bagel Dogs have more flavor than their pretzel dogs, but that can be good or bad. Truth is that the bagel topping can be burnt, but that is only some of them.

All and all these are just not as good as pretzel dogs, but very close. As a snack they are ready fast, bad for you, and too hot out of the microwave. They are so very American I expected and bald eagle to give me the thumbs up as I was eating them.

Ball Park Prime Uncured Beef Franks Bun Size

 Ball Park Prime Uncured Beef Franks are a Bun Size link of boredom. I have to say that not even most of my cats would eat these things which really surprised me.

I have to say that these will only be good with the right condiments. Chili this up or leave it be.

Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Pretzel Dogs

 Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Pretzel Dogs where in my freezer section so I picked them up. Not bad, salty, and ready in ninety seconds. You only get four in that box, and they are smaller than I thought they would be, but after I popped the first one I took a nap then popped another.

These things are addictive. Who would have thought?

Stryve Foods Beef Biltong Sticks Hatch Green Chile

 Aside from being dry Stryve Foods Beef Biltong Sticks Hatch Green Chile are a fine chewy beef jerky with a flavor that is enough to make you like it but not so much as you need to down water that you should have on your hike. They are an unoffensive food that I can take or leave. 

Again, I'm more of a teriyaki turkey jerky fan so this stuff would be a bit off my path. Still good, if you're into this kind of jerky it's a dry but solid buy.

Mr. Giant Taquitos Platter Beef

I've lived around Mr. Giant my whole life and only recently went in and tried the place. I guess I know why. The food is good but not really something to remember. 

Take the 'Taquitos Platter' here and know that the taquitos are everything I want in a taquito being crunchy and all. The guacamole is just how I like it being mild and unoffensive, so if you want this spicy you need to make it that way. 

Now remember that 'Platter' is in the name so those rice and beans need to be taken into account, and they are about as boring as rice and beans can be and still be Mexican. 

Look, not only am I white, but I'm American, and I make rice and beans with more flavor than these have. Add some pepper or something if you get these. Now if I were British the cook would have just felt that in the balls. 

Even with all their faults, I'm still so ordering this again. 

Mr. Giant Super Nachos with Beef

Mr. Giant Super Nachos with Beef aren't so super. These things were soggy and not that great, but they were filling and they tasted okay. I wouldn't get these again because of those soggy chips. 

Mr. Giant California Beef Burrito with Red Sauce

On historic Whittier Boulevard in Whittier's historic uptown you can find 'Mr. Giant' a small Mexican diner that serves this burrito. This is their California Burrito with Beef and Red Sauce to be clear and its stuffed with Beef, rice, beans, french fries, and the like. This has onion in it and where as normally onions make me sick these onions were sweet and mild.  

I have to say I will be trying other things at Mr. Giant but I recommended this to people because it's a good deal and good food.

Chef Boyardee Spicy Beef Ravioli

Chef Boyardee Spicy Beef Ravioli has the same overly soft texture as normal Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli. That is to say it feels like mush in your mouth. It is spicy mush so the label is right save for the fact that I can't call the stuff in these beef. 

I recall these being a favored food of the poor because they are so inexpensive. You kind of need to be poor to eat these because they are so far from what Ravioli should be that I don't think I've ever had ravioli that I wouldn't proffer over Chef Boyardee. 

Calina's Original Pizza Deluxe Pepperoni, Beef, Italian Sausage Piroshki

Calina's Original Pizza Deluxe Pepperoni, Beef, Italian Sausage Piroshki are about as good as their chicken counterparts but will linger longer on your breath.  

Now, I'm 25 stone so I have two of these with a pound of vegetables. I heat them first in the microwave then put them in the oven for 15 minutes to get them crisp.

All in all these are an okay and fast food that can be had with a balanced diet.  

Ray's Tepeyac Quesadilla with Beef

There are few foods as satisfying as a quesadilla and Ray's Tepeyac as three different kinds all filled with jack cheese but differing in their animal protein. These are the beef variety and they are wonderful.

The only problem I have with these is I shouldn't eat them because of how fat I am but they are well more than enough for a full meal on their own.

This is one appetizer that can fill you up.

Ray's Tepeyac Shredded Beef Burrito

Ray's Tepeyac's 'Shredded Beef Burrito' defeats the idea of a burrito by covering it with slime. This is a burrito that you need to eat with a knife and fork which is an idea I just can't get my head around. I used the chips they give you to take chunks out of this monster.

Taste wise I would say this is solid but the problem was all the not beef stuff took away from the beef. There was green in that burrito, and I didn't like it. 

Ray's Tepeyac Flautas Beef

Ray's Tepeyac's 'Flautas' come with chicken or beef and I got the beef. Other than not being long enough to really be a 'flauta' these were crispy and well made. I really liked them and would get them again.

The only down side is that all those beans get everywhere and I've started taking a second shirt when I go to ray's. Then again, I'm a fat slob. 

Kirkland Signature Beef Polish Sausage

These are spicy hot dogs, big spicy hot dogs, but they are still very much hot dogs. It's getting to the point where everything is store brand at Costco and you can't get anything for real any more. 

These are okay but I would not buy more after this pack. Too much salt.

Olive Garden Toasted Ravioli

These were the best thing on the appetizer menu so far as I can see. I have never had toasted Ravioli before but this was good. It was also loaded with sodium fat and terrible for me. I shared these and you should as well. Eat in moderation.