Monday, October 31, 2022

Mtn Dew Voodew 2022


 Mtn Dew Voodew 2022 is the forth Voodew in the Dew line, and it has a distinctly tart citrus flavor. Frankly, I would call it grapefruit but some say it's Sour Patch Kids. 

This is definitely a vodka drink. It wouldn't go with whisky. The flavor starts smooth and then ends tart. It's not bad but few people would like it.

M&M's Cookies and Scream


 M&M's Cookies and Scream really isn't big enough to make the flavor work. I mean, if they took small cookies and coated them with chocolate and candy it would have been fine, but the whole thing is just too small to have enough of the cookies they say they have. I would have rather had normal M&M's.

Sunday, October 30, 2022

Krispy SKreme Spooky Spider Doughnut


 The Krispy Kreme, I mean Krispy SKreme, Spooky Spider Doughnut will only be around for a short time longer, and I have to say it's worth making a point to try. It is a hefty doughnut with a distinct mouth feel. 

It may not be the best doughnut in the world, but is very good. Get yourself down and try one before it's too late.

Oreo Boo!


 Oreo Boo! are normal Oreo cookies with orange colored cream and Halloween themed pictures on them. They taste just like normal Oreo cookies so meh. Then again, I like Oreo cookies. 



Saturday, October 29, 2022

Liquid Death Sparkling Water

'Murder your thirst' says the can of my Liquid Death Sparkling Water and, yeah, I guess it does. I have to say this water is cool even if it isn't better for the world or anything like that type of product. 

It gets by on the idea of just being a conversation piece, and so, if I could get it at a good price I would buy lots more. Liquid Death is how you live a hardcore life that is nonalcoholic.
 

Friday, October 28, 2022

Snickers Jack O' Lanterns

Snickers Jack O' Lanterns are little more than a Snickers bar in a funny shape and yet still they are so very vary good. I can't tell you how many of these my fat self went through before finally taking this picture to write this review. 

I love Snickers and this is Snickers at their finest.

Thursday, October 27, 2022

Burger King Ghost Pepper Halloween Whopper


 The Burger King Ghost Pepper Halloween Whopper is the latest in the Halloween Whopper line and it's the hottest by far. The caramelized, or possibly deep fried, peppers really add to the heat so much that I had to take some of them off the burger to finish it. 

I would never eat one of these again, but I don't like spicy food. If hot is your thing this is the hottest burger I have ever had. That's not saying much, but it is saying something. 

HoWe's Oktoberfest Bratwurst


 HoWe's Oktoberfest Bratwurst is best made with fire. It comes fully cooked but the fire you heat it with will make it much better. 

This is big sausage with a smoothy juicy texture. Not much on flavor but that's what the fire is for.

Wednesday, October 26, 2022

Krispy Kreme Neon Orange Sprinkle Halloween Doughnut

The simplest of the Krispy Kreme Halloween Doughnuts is the Neon Orange Sprinkle. It's basically a glassed doughnut with sprinkles. They just look Halloween but are fun to have at parties.
 

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Kirkland Signature Boneless Skinless Chicken Tenderloins


 Kirkland Signature Boneless Skinless Chicken Tenderloins are on the stringy side but they were less than the chicken breasts so I got two bags.

I have no idea how a chicken tenderloin is a thing. I mean, how can that come from the loin of a chicken? Anyway, these are smaller and better for making chicken fingers or for portion control, but they get caught in your teeth.   

I don't have much in the way of complaints about them, but I still have to say 'go for what is the best price'. 

Monday, October 24, 2022

The Conqueror Virtual Challenges Mount Kilimanjaro

 Mount Kilimanjaro is one of the simpler awards from The Conqueror Virtual Challenges likely one of their early ones as well. It features a sixty mile trek with five virtual postcard of the park Mti Mkubwa Camp, New Pofu Camp, Mawenzi Tarn Camp, Barranco Camp, and Uhuru Peak.

This is a great way to see the park without harming the environment. Frankly, I love the idea of going places and staying where I can't be eaten by a lion. However, I mostly do these things because they plant trees. 

If you're the kind of fellow who wants to do this and then put your charm on the wall or in a box then this is the thing for you. However, if these things are like toys to you then this one doesn't do anything cool. Well, unless you count planting trees and making the world better, that is kind of cool to me.



Sunday, October 23, 2022

Snickers Peanut Brownie


 I have to admit that Snickers Peanut Brownie is a very good candy bar. It would be a welcome treat in most Halloween bags this year. Not that I should be eating these things because I'm massive and, well, shouldn't have chocolate. 

The point is that being fat stinks and these are great. It pained me so much to take the second bag to work and leave it there for everyone else.

Saturday, October 22, 2022

Sapporo Ichiban Japanese Style Noodles Soy Sauce Flavor Ramen Bowl


 Sapporo Ichiban Japanese Style Noodles are on the higher end side of Ramen. This Soy Sauce Ramen Bowl is so fancy you can't microwave it. You need to use hot water to make this work.

I will admit this is better than most of the Ramen I've had, but there are places where hot water is hard to come by, and so these would be hard to make. I guess you could always heat water in the microwave, but then you need an extra cup. 

Then again, that's a good amount of vegetables for ramen. 

Friday, October 21, 2022

Liquid Death Severed Lime


 Liquid Death Severed Lime is a lime flavored water that is made to look very cool. It is also expensive and looks like beer, but in October I'm willing to over look that. 

In any case, I like this water. I don't know if it's worth it but it would look cool at your Halloween party and you would also know that no plastic bottles went into the Ocean. 

In other words "Death Water! Murder your thirst and not the sea life." 

Thursday, October 20, 2022

Triple Bonus Jack


 The Triple Bonus Jack from Jack in the box isn't much to look at. I mean, that thing looks sad and lonely. It isn't as much as you would think it is for that matter. It is seven hundred calories so you should avoid eating other foods with it, but I can tell you it just isn't that great. 

I'm not saying it's bad, really, just not great. Looks so good online, and then you get one.

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Popcornopolis Gourmet Zebra Popcorn


 Popcornopolis Gourmet Zebra Popcorn is what you would expect from Zebra Popcorn, and I got the vampire edition. It's caramel corn and it will go well with your spooky party experience. 

Yeah, I like this stuff but I'm too fat so I can't eat that second one. I'm getting really popular at work for all the candy and stuff I'm bringing them. 

Had this out to party guests or give it to your kids when you tell them that walking around at night and bagging strangers for stuff is only what homeless people do now. The little boogers will be safe and happy.

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Jack in the Box Monster Taco

Back in time for Halloween is the Monster Taco from Jack in the Box. As tacos go it isn't all that monster. A better name for it would be a 'big taco' as that is all it is. I mean, monster can mean big, but you don't look at this and say "that is a big taco". You just see a taco that is bigger than a normal taco. The most monster part of this was the mess it made. 

Name aside, it's more taco than what you would get at taco bell and I guess for being so simple it's not bad. I  would say this is a satisfying piece of taco like matter, and if Jack is your man you should eat them. 
 

KOE Organic Kombucha Lemon Lime

This is Kombucha, I think I've been pronouncing it wrong my whole life. Well, I found it to be, um, lemon flavored. Yeah, it was kind of smooth, but I wouldn't call it tea like. If you thought this would be like lemon lime soda it will not stand up to that. 

For something that isn't all that sweet I would have to say this is a good beverage. I mean, I wouldn't go buying more of this, but I will be drinking the last of it that I have. 
 

Monday, October 17, 2022

Mater Happy Meal Toy

As you can see Wolf decided to check out this Mater Happy Meal Toy from the house of the clown. I have to say that the toy stinks and the cat is fabulous. The cat provides hours of entertainment and the toy is crap that they didn't even bother to put the stickers on.

The clown isn't much for epic toys these days, but I wanted and adult Happy Meal anyway ... now that I say it that's sounds gross. I wouldn't want that kind of fish sandwich sold at the house of clown. 
 

Little Debbie Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes

Little Debbie Sparkling Strawberry Unicorn Cakes look like so much fun but taste nothing like unicorn. I mean, I don't get the connection and no that pink and white thing on the box is not a real unicorn. 

They don't taste strongly strawberry, but I guess strawberries don't have that much of a taste anyway. 

These little cakes are more of a talking point than a dessert. Not to say that they are bad but for being unicorn cakes they should be magical. If a big thing for you is how cool your coffee cake looks than these are great. 

If taste is your thing not so much.
 

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Act II Butter Lovers' Popcorn


 Act II Butter Lovers' Popcorn isn't really as disgusting as real theater buttered popcorn. It doesn't slime your hands or get all over the place. I will admit I can feel it on my hands after eating, but it's just not the same. Mostly, I taste salt and not butter. 

If you want to have a real movie theater experience this isn't the buttered popcorn for you. Then again, if you really wanted to get all covered in butter flavored oil you are a sicko and need help.

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Monster Energy


 Can you believe I never reviewed Monster Energy? I mean, other flavors, yes, but never the original. I was always into the orange Monsters in college, I'd drink them until I needed them to feel normal then I'd stay away from them for three days to kick the habit and start over again. 

Ah, those were the days. Some of the worst of my life. 

Anyway, I can't say much for the taste of the green Monster but i can say that it keeps me up at night and gets me working. It's not coffee. I mean, I can make so much more coffee for the price, but this stuff really works.  

Friday, October 14, 2022

Yoplait Original Pumpkin Pie Yogurt


 Yoplait Original Pumpkin Pie Yogurt has less than one percent pumpkin and even less pie. It doesn't taste bad, but rather tastes kind of mild in flavor with a bit of yogurtness that lets you know what you're eating. 

If you blindfolded me and had me eat this you would have a bizarre kink and should see a head doctor. I, on the other hand, would have never guessed the flavor as it hasn't much of one. 

Stuff is okay if a bit disappointing.

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Unicorn Shapes


 Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Unicorn Shapes is Mac and Cheese with a different shape. I guess that's a thing. I mean, it feels different in your mouth so it is a different experience. I like to drop the water level on these to make them a little more flavorful. 

They are not as good as the stove top version, but what really is?

Thursday, October 13, 2022

Krispy Kreme Haunted House Boo Batter Doughnut

Krispy Kreme Haunted House Boo Batter Doughnut is a custard filled sugar topped that has a distinct mouth feel making it one of the most satisfying doughnuts I've had from Krispy Kreme. 

There are few doughnuts I honestly think people should try, and this thing being four hundred and fifty Calories is not to be tried lightly. However, it's Halloween and you should live a little.
 

Philadelphia Salted Caramel Cheesecake Snacks


 Philadelphia Salted Caramel Cheesecake Snacks is the kind of fatty delicious thing I shouldn't eat because I'm fat. I am so fat and as fat as I am this is so delicious. 

I love cheesecake, but eat it rarely because of bad childhood memories ... and that fact that I'm just too fat. 

If you like cheesecake you really need to try this because it's one killer combination. I would put these on my buy list if I wasn't so fat.

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

Snow Leopard Trust Felted Fish Cat Toy

A kitten is an adorable fluff ball with five sets of tiny knives on the bottom that has been given cocaine. I currently have six of these lovely monsters trashing my home, and I live alone, so they need constant stimulation. 

That is why I turned to the Snow Leopard Trust, because the last time I got cat toys from them I monsters couldn't get enough of them. It may be that they are hand made, or it may be that they are made of camel wool but they work better than all of the other thirty or so cat toys I have. 

In fact, just as I got them out of the pack my cat Eva here snatched one of the Felted Fish. Before long, her, the fish, and her sister were rolling on the ground with the thing. 

Will you pay just a little bit more for a hand made camel wool cat toy? Yes, I sure will. Then you're given the added bonus of protecting and endangered species and supporting and indigenous people.
 

I'll admit, they do look kind of odd, but my cats just love them.  



Pop-Secret Sweet'n Crunchy Caramel

Pop-Secret Sweet'n Crunchy Caramel is all of but very little of what it says on the bag. The secret is that most of this will not pop so you don't get much out of it. Trying to pop the rest will end in glass shattering hot ooze.

Taste fine, still a fail.
 

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

Krispy Kreme Haunted House Scaredy Cat Doughnut

The Krispy Kreme Haunted House Scaredy Cat Doughnut is a cream filled glazed doughnut that has a very hard to see cat on the top. I believe that cat was supposed to be a sugar topper but the shop ran out and had to draw them. I think this tastes better anyway. 

The one thing I do dislike about this is the green grass at the bottom is sticky and gets everywhere.

All in all, good doughnut.
 

Carl's Jr. Star Pals Subway Surfers Jake

So, I think this is Jake from the 'Subway Surfers' mobile game, and you can pick him up in a 'Star Pals' meal at Carl's Jr. This little dill weed goes about making life hard for an honest security guard who is just trying to do is job.

I watched the commercials for this crud, and they show some 'Sonic the Hedge Hog' style coin collecting mixed in with spray painting and may be more property destruction. Jake looks like a bad influence on children teaching them that doing the wrong thing is just expressing yourself. 

He is immortalized in this half tail attempt at making a toy. The whole thing is a sticker on a bit of plastic with a spring launcher to make it flop forward. 

Carl, buddy, you got to do better than this.
 

Snickers Crunchy Peanut Butter


 Somewhere in the blast of sugar you eat this holiday season you may find a Snickers Crunchy Peanut Butter. I'm getting them out of the house because they aren't worth it. Not as nutty as a real Snickers and not having as fresh a flavor these are just kind of their. Noble idea but peanuts are better than the butter in this case.

Monday, October 10, 2022

Cheetos Mac'N Cheese, Bold & Cheesy Flavor


 It's not easy being cheesy and Cheetos Mac'N Cheese, Bold & Cheesy Flavor is a good example of that truth. It looks like the radio active bee pollenesk substance you find on Cheetos but just doesn't remind me of the snack. 

The idea is more fun than the product which tastes different from other examples of the same dish but just isn't more cheesy. 

Still, not bad, just not as good as Kraft. 

Sunday, October 9, 2022

Act II Kettle Corn


 It's scary movie time and that's when you reach for the Act II Kettle Corn and crunch your way through the thrills and chills of your top slasher film. This kettle corn is mildly sweet and good enough to make me wish I had gotten more. 

I guess it's funny how we covered food in sugar and exploded it, and now it's so much better, but here you are. This is a treat to add to your home movie watching experience, and I like it.

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Signature Select Cherry Cola Soda


 Signature Select Cherry Cola Soda almost as good as the name brand. Almost, I mean just a bit off really. On the one hand I can get twice as much soda for the same price, but on the other I shouldn't be drinking soda. I'm fat. 

That said, I get almost as much enjoyment from this for half the price. If you're talking about having a drink with a shot of my favorite whiskey then I'd go name brand. If not, this will do just fine. 

Friday, October 7, 2022

Pringles Ranch


 If you knew what a ranch tasted like you would never flavor your food that way. I have tasted a ranch and I can tell you they taste like mud, dust, and animal poop, with a little rust mixed in. So it is a good thing that Pringles Ranch tastes nothing like that. It does taste a little like ranch dressing which is cheese and flavored with chive. 

All and all, these have a stronger flavor than original Pringels, but they are a good flavor.  

Thursday, October 6, 2022

Java Monster Farmer's Oats

Java Monster Farmer's Oats by Monster Energy is an oat milk latte in a can. I'm not the biggest fan of oat milk or the lattes made with it but I find this to be an okay thing to drink. I mean, I like them enough, but wouldn't pay the prices normally charged for a Monster for them. 

It doesn't help things that I drank one, with a cup of coffee, and then went right to sleep. I then woke up and drank another before taking a nap. Maybe caffeine has just lost its punch for me. 

At the end of the day this will likely work for you as well as any Monster Energy drink. So, do you like oat lattes?
 

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

Pop Tarts Pumpkin Pie


 Pop Tarts Pumpkin Pie smell like pumpkin spice but have so little filling you mostly get the smell. I guess they taste fine. I mean, I don't mind eating them, but if I couldn't smell them I would have no idea what they were. 

I'm honestly going to stick the the real pumpkin pie when I can, but these are okay.

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Heinz Tomato Blood Tomato Ketchup


 Heinz Tomato Blood Tomato Ketchup is just ketchup with a new label to make it more fun. It tastes like normal Heinz Ketchup and will irritate my skin if I leave it on too long. 

Yes I have used ketchup as blood in film shoots. I hat ketchup on for hours, and it was a nightmare that gave me a mild rash. 

If you run into this just know that it is normal ketchup made to look more festive. It may be a great conversation starter at your Halloween party but that's all it will be.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Inked Organics Mighty Multigrain


 Inked Organics Mighty Multigrain cut up my mouth as I tried to eat it toasted and the crust was dry without toasting. Then I opened the second loaf of this bread and noted it to be fresher and softer. 

So this is some manly bread that just may eat you a bit back. It's full of seeds and nutrients and stuff that will make you feel better and live longer. 

All in all, Inked is a bread I often buy. This is my first time buying this kind and its not my top pick. It will put hair on your chest ... if you want that buy this bread. 

Signature Select Orange Soda


 Signature Select Orange Soda is what you get when you can't find the real soda or want to have something to make your booze drinkable. Nasty booze needs sugar to make it better but the sugar won't help with the hangover. 

Anyway, this stuff has a lot of sugar and is otherwise a solid orange soda. I mean, orange soda really isn't a big thing, but this is a good enough orange to get plastered with. 

Remember to drink responsibly, and go out side before you barf.

Sunday, October 2, 2022

Alfaro's Artesano Sweet Steakhouse Rolls


 Alfaro's Artesano Sweet Steakhouse Rolls are good hot or cold and will be a great addition to your dinner party. In a world where Americans will eat almost anything and you need to feed the heck out of them to make them happy this will fill people's guts with something that will stick long enough to get them away from the table and back where the beer is. 

I have to say these are a win. Serve them hot with soft butter, and just have a great time. 

Saturday, October 1, 2022

McDonald's Cheese Danish

I have to ask myself if McDonald's found a bunch of Cheese Danish in their freezer and said "these are still good. They're only thirty years old. We can still sell them." Then popped these in the oven and made Danish. It could be that I got them first thing in the morning and they were the ones from yesterday. 

Then you just look at that box. It's so much bigger than the pastry that you have to ask if they are compensating for something. I grant that these are normally bigger, but come on, they shouldn't rattle around in the box. 

Anyway, fail.
 

Garrett Valley Farms Smoked Turkey Kielbasa


 Garrett Valley Farms Smoked Turkey Kielbasa does not have the oil of normal kielbasa but it has all the flavor and texture. I have to say this is a great product and will make it's place on your plate. It's at least as good as any kielbasa and better for you, because you can use olive oil which is believed to have a positive impact on health.