Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

 The level of fail you find with Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is staggering. The Frosting is the only good part of these. I'll grant that this is a dumb idea to start with. Hot cookie dough is just an under baked cookie. 

This, however, is not as good as a cookie or cookie dough and I would not have thought it was chocolate at all. 

I buy Pop Tarts because I can open the box and still give most of the contents to the homeless. For that reason, I will never stop buying them and you should all read my reviews of them. 

That said, these are okay, but they are nothing like what they are supposed to be. 

Limited Edition Pop Tarts Lemon Groove Pink Lemonade Flavor

Pop Tarts Lemon Groove Pink Lemonade remind me of the summer and the surf. Why they would do that I don't know because I never drank Pink Lemonade at the beach and I don't smoke pot. 

They taste okay, definitely some lemon flavor in there but, well, I don't think this is the best combination. The poorly printed graphics don't help.  

I'll be happy to pass these along to the homeless and they happy to eat them, but I won't miss them when they're gone. 

Pop Tarts Frosted Apple Fritter Toaster Pastries

 If you've been reading this blog you know that I have a love hate relationship with Pop Tarts. Eating them makes me feel fat and lonely, but buying them helps me feed the homeless. 

Frosted Apple Fritter Pop Tarts are honestly a standout in this breakfast food for the lonely and overworked. As with most Pop Tarts these have too little filling, but it is rather good filling and makes these more flavorful than normal Pop Tarts. 

These are a win. You should try them. 

Pop Tarts Frosted S'Mores

 

Pop Tarts Frosted S'Mores are another in the disappointments that are Pop Tarts. Pop Tarts linger in my thoughts as I drink my coffee and think of how I must be so lonely a person to be eating these. 

Should real food even be that shape? I mean, if they were some army ration it would make a lot more sense. 

Then they go and make a s'more flavor and you ask, can they be as good as the real thing? No, they can't. They can't bring me to the warmth of a campfire with friends laying and telling jokes.   

Pop Tarts are some food that belongs in a bunker, and they will disappoint. Have a real meal. 

Pop Tarts Pumpkin Pie

 Pop Tarts Pumpkin Pie smell like pumpkin spice but have so little filling you mostly get the smell. I guess they taste fine. I mean, I don't mind eating them, but if I couldn't smell them I would have no idea what they were. 

I'm honestly going to stick the the real pumpkin pie when I can, but these are okay.

Pop Tarts Lemon Groove

 Sporting some lemons with porn stashes Pop Tarts Lemon Groove aren't much to write home about. The lemon flavor isn't very strong and they don't remind me of pink lemonade. 

All in all, these are kind of bland and as you eat them you ask yourself what the point is, not so much of the Pop Tarts but of your life. How has it come to the point where you are eating these half thought out pastries alone in a kitchen where you only turned the lights on to take a picture for your blog?

 Pop Tarts are depressing. 

Pop Tarts Frosted Boston Cream Donut

 If you told a man from Boston that these were Boston Cream Donut Pop Tarts I think they would be offended. There is almost no cream in their. There is never enough filling in these things if you ask me, but then all that filling is just sugar. 

These are a fail and a hard fail at that. After eating them I want to go get a real Boston Cream just to remember what they taste like and I have never been big on them.  

Also, I am to fat to eat doughnuts or Pop Tars. 

Pop Tarts Frosted Strawberry Milkshake

 

Pop Tarts are food for the lonely. I remember eating them as a child when my mother was too sick to make food, and, let us be honest, these are packed with sugar. I should never eat these because I am fat.

Anyway, their Frosted Strawberry Milkshake flavor is another disappointment in making people fat. I would have never said these were strawberry flavored and the milkshake part, well, what would that even taste like?

These things look like they should be doughnut flavored on the box, and then you open the box, and they look like a cheap knockoff of a Pop Tart.

I don't know how a Pop Tart can fail this hard, but it failed this hard. Once you get past that they're okay.  

Pop Tarts Frosted Red Velvet Cupcake

In the world of what is a muffin and what is a cupcake the difference is frosting. This is why I am not surprised that 'Pop Tarts Frosted Red Velvet Cupcake' lacks the richness and flavor that makes red velvet worth eating.  The cupcake part is a redundancy and the pop tarts are not that great. The frosting is the wrong flavor and the breading tastes like they just added food coloring. I mean, yes they should have added food coloring, but they should also have added chocolate.
 

Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Vanilla Latte

 Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Vanilla Latte are a coffee flavored Pop Tart that I have to keep out of my house, because I love them too much. With more a taste of caramel than vanilla these toaster pastries are just the thing to get my fat self out of bed and into the kitchen to gain weight. 

If you don't have these with a hefty cup of coffee they may just put you back to sleep. I would say, have an egg, an apple, and a banana before you chow down on these, because as good as they are they are so bad for you. 

Pop Tarts Frosted Cinnamon Roll

 Pop Tarts Frosted Cinnamon Roll don't pretend to be good for you with  fruit, and I like that honesty. If I had to choose between this and a cinnamon roll I'm going cinnamon roll. 

That is not to say that these aren't good. These are some of the best Pop Tarts I have ever had. That doesn't say much because I have trouble getting rid of the Pop Tarts I buy.

Yeah, you would think a big fat dude like me would eat all his Pop Tarts. That is really hard to do when you're trying to write a review every day.

Halloween Edition Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Fudge

Halloween Edition Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Fudge are a lazy way of making something Halloween esk without doing any real work. 

Yeah, okay, so you get pictures on your pop-tart. You know these are for eating, right, not looking at, and they don't come out all that well.

Fail.

Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Mocha

Pop Tarts Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Mocha are a brand merger that makes about as much sense as one of the President's speeches. How lazy do you need to be to have pop tarts over doughnuts?

In any case, these are great for dunking if you can get over the whole 'why am I not having doughnuts' thing. They tastes mostly like hot fudge pop tarts with a little of a coffee flavor which is useless when you dunk them in coffee.  

I don't know, I mean, I could take them or leave them. 

Pop Tarts Crush Orange

Pop Tarts Crush Orange have to be one of the saddest products I've ever seen. Orange Crush is kind of s second ringer soda that you have every now and again. Pop Tarts are a thing you never eat unless you just don't have time for real food. 

Pop Tarts Crush Orange are okay. I had to try them, but I don't have to like them. These are not as good as the soda but okay.