Kraft Jet-Puffed Peppermint Mallows

 

Kraft Jet-Puffed Peppermint Mallows didn't taste any different. Is there something wrong with my mouth? They were just pink. That's all.

Artesano Bakery Bread Sausage Rolls

 Artesano Bakery Bread Sausage Rolls are hotdog buns. We don't really think of hotdogs as sausage, but a sausage rolls is a roll with sausage baked in.

As a sausage roll these are a fail but as a hotdog bun they really take the top spot of all the buns I've tried. Soft but durable, they don't fall apart in your hands like normal hot dog buns. 

Good stuff, you should try them if you eat hot dogs at home. 

Mountain Dew Frost Bite

 Frost Bite is an ironic name for this soda from Mountain Dew given that it doesn't take cold well. If you drop ice in this stuff it will take longer than other liquids to cool down. I don't know how that works but I know that it does so keep this cold before drinking.

Past that, for all that sugar you don't taste much. Looks cool, tastes like nothing, give it a pass. 

Ball Park Prime Uncured Beef Franks Bun Size

 Ball Park Prime Uncured Beef Franks are a Bun Size link of boredom. I have to say that not even most of my cats would eat these things which really surprised me.

I have to say that these will only be good with the right condiments. Chili this up or leave it be.

Kroger Spaghetti

 Why would I review Kroger Spaghetti? I mean, it really is just spaghetti so there is nothing to write about. It's not made of anything interesting. Just spaghetti in there like any spaghetti you've eaten it is a vehicle for the stuff you put on it.

Just know that I'm working hard to be sure that you get a new review every day. Even if it means reviewing something I should not have an opinion on.

The Hip Almond Honey Butter Cinnamon Almonds

 The Hip Almond Honey Butter Cinnamon Almonds are what you get when you take perfect food and dress it up some to make it better. I like these but I'm not sure if these are any better than normal old almonds. 

I also woke up with the skin of the almonds caught in my throat. I guess you shouldn't eat these on their own but then how else would you eat them?

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged

 

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged tastes like discount Mountain Dew. This is a bad thing, because it costs more than mountain dew meaning that you can fuel your game for less and get more. I have to admit these don't do it for me but then few things do now days. 

If you're hoping Game Fuel will keep you in the game you're going to be disappointed. 

Quorn Meatless Cheesy Nuggets

 Quorn Meatless Cheesy Nuggets are a chicken like thing from the folks at Quorn. I admit that they are not like the cover, but they taste fine. They are an okay snack for those of you who eat animal products but not animals themselves. 

Quorn is a reasonable, if not great, meat substitute that is a step in the right direction to sustainability. Still, this is not a meal, it is a snack. You need to have these with some fruit or vegetables to make a meal.

Eat accordingly.

Regatta Royal Oak Ginger Ale

 Regatta Royal Oak Ginger Ale is not as good as their ginger beer but it is still great with many forms of alcohol. It was made for alcohol rather than just drinking. Still it's just fine on it's own. 

I have to say this is some fine soda. I would drink it on it's own and would get more were it not for the ginger beer. Point being, I like ginger.

Teton Waters Ranch Polish Sausage, Cooked, Uncured

 Teton Waters Ranch Polish Sausage are a little bland out of the pack. I like to add salt when I boil them. If you're thinking of adding these to your holiday BBQ then I would say just make sure you have Ketchup and mustered handy. 

As polish sausages these are kind of a fail, but as hot dogs they work just fine. Funny thing is to make a polish sausage healthy you kind of need to make them less flavorful so I guess I got what I expected.

Cora Bella Sweet Potato Gnocchi

 

Cora Bella Sweet Potato Gnocchi sat in my cabinet for way too long as did many pastas I wanted to try. I'm just not a big pasta nut...and my kitchen is always a mess, because some jerk won't clean up after himself. 

Anyway, if you wanted something new for dinner this will fit the bill. I have to say I like these, and I would get them again. They are odd enough to be interesting, but mild enough to offend no one. In addition they are likely to be better for you than their normal potato cousins. 

Still, read the label people. 

Julian's Brussels Style Belgian Waffles

 Julian's Brussels Style Belgian Waffles don't heat well. Once you get them hot they are only as good as what you put on them. They are a waffle made with protein so you don't need to make yourself some eggs to go with them. 

Eggs are easy to make and most people like them so I'm confused about how these work or why you would buy them. They could be for people who can't have eggs I guess.

Quorn Meatless Parmigiana Cutlet Entree

 Quorn Meatless Parmigiana Cutlet Entree tastes like some of the other chicken-ish things I had. Some were even made with real chicken. I have to say on a chicken scale this stuff will not satisfy some but if you eat bad chicken you will be fine with this.

It is a little small and in need of vegetables, but otherwise I thought this wasn't bad. 

Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry Raspberry Flavor

 Ocean Spray Sparkling Cranberry Raspberry Flavor isn't that great of a combination. I have to admit that it's a little two tart for me. I guess you could add some sugary stuff to make it work but then why buy it at all? 

Half the sugar of soda, not as good as water. Fail.

Sour Patch Kids Marshmallows

 They do more and more with marshmallows these days and it only gets worse. Sour Patch Kids Marshmallows are the lowest in that bag as they lose most of their sour in the bag and just taste like crap by the time they hit your mouth. 

I keep trying things like this because they stand out but I know they will stink. When a fat man like me looks at candy and turns his nose up you know it's bad. 

Big K Citrus Drop Soda

 Another win from Big K soda available at Ralph's is Citrus Drop which can best be compared to Mountain Dew. This gamer fuel soda will keep your party going a little longer or get you up enough to get home without passing out in the bushes. 

On second thought, get you to the couch without passing out on your D&D board. Don't drink and drive, kids, you will hurt good people. 

In any case, this stuff is a total buy if you're into Mountain Dew. If you're not then get it for a college student you know, they will thank you for it.

Farmwise Veggie Skins Cheese & Cauliflower

 Farmwise Veggie Skins Cheese & Cauliflower are, well, okay. I have to say that I like them but as you can see I made them with some yellow cauliflower because they don't have enough vegetables. 

They are on the small side so I think if you are feeding your family with them it's two per person. Past that, I mean, not bad, would eat again.

Switzer's Chewy Watermelon Twists

Switzer's Chewy Watermelon Twists look like licorice, but have a very different texture. Let us be clear that licorice gets its name from the plant and should be black. Other flavors are still called licorice, I guess, but should be vines are ropes. So, this licorice like substance is supposed to be watermelon flavored. 

It isn't bad, it just isn't what it calls itself.  I honestly like this stuff but shouldn't eat it, because I'm a fat monster. 

If you are not a island on to yourself like I am you should try this as you may like it. I do. 
 

Big K Soda Ginger Ale

 Big K Soda's Ginger Ale is the kind of thing that gets the job done. Ginger Ale is a bit hard to screw up and I've never had a bad can, but this is fine. I don't think anyone will call you cheap for buying this as it is about as good as Canada Dry. Then again, I haven't had normal Canada Dry in years so I should go try some of that for comparison.

Brainiac Kids Smart Smoothie Strawberry

 Brainiac Kids Smart Smoothie Strawberry is not made with real kids. I think it should be "Kid's" indicating that it is for kids not made of kids, but none the less there are no kids in there.

I believe the idea behind this is that it promotes gut health. This is important for healthy living so I can't say this stuff is killer good or bad, but if you kids don't like yogurt then this is a fine way to get it down their throats. 

Tastes fine, could have more strawberry.

Danish Choice Blackcurrant Preserves

 Danish Choice Blackcurrant Preserves was the most interesting thing I could find on the shelf as far as jam goes. Then I found that I had way too much to put on bread. 

This was really great on a biscuit and a rich dark spread that goes on in blobs. I have to say I like this stuff.  As preserves go this would be a fine addition to you're child's PB and J.

Good stuff, big jar, would buy again.

Vevan Mozza-Shred

 

Vevan Mozza-Shred is a vegan cheese substitute. It is not cheese and only tastes like cheese until you melt it at which point it tastes like nacho sauce. I have never like that runny cheese they put over nachos so this is not a product that I can say that I like. I'd put this in a salad but not on my chili. 

Nice try, boys, but it's just not as good as the real thing. 

Coca Cola Cherry Vanilla

 Coca Cola Cherry Vanilla is one of the more odd flavors of the Coca Cola line, but with Pepsi really hitting the trendy market this is rather tame by comparison. 

The vanilla lessons the cherry somewhat but the two flavors work well together. I would say that this would go best with vodka but it has the strength of flavor to take a whisky. 

All and all, just as bad for you as most soda. Drink accordingly.

Alvarado St. Bakery Sprouted Wheat Everything Bagels

 Alvarado St. Bakery Sprouted Wheat Everything Bagels are the best vegan everything bagels I have ever had. They are the only vegan everything bagels I have ever had, but still they are okay.

There is an odd amount of moisture to these bagels and they have so much stuff on them that a good amount comes off when you cut them. Still, not a bad product for hippy food.

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged Tropical Strike

 Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged Tropical Strike is a mango flavored soda. It isn't great but it isn't bad but every time I drink it I go right to sleep. I can't say it keeps me in the game, but then the real kicker is that top that should keep it from going flat if you don't drink the whole can. Like, yeah, that happens right?

Anyway, this was cheaper than a lot of energy drinks so I can't complain. I can say that it's no monster, but then monster has been falling short lately as well.

Old Fashioned Chocolate Chip Flavored Cookies

 Old Fashioned Chocolate Chip Flavored Cookies are stale nightmares of cookies that you would only eat when you are so hungry you could eat your own foot. I mean, not my foot, but your foot isn't as chewy as mine. 

In any case, the unopened cookies go to the homeless who just may be that hungry. As they are chocolate flavored no chocolate was harmed in the making of these abominations.

Kirkland Signature Hard Seltzer Lime

 Kirkland Signature Hard Seltzer Lime is not  the worst hard seltzer I've ever had but it's not at all good. This stuff could be lighter save for the sugar content which gives it an odd flavor. 

I'm calling this one a fail. Nasty. 

Julian's Recipe 7-Grain Classic Brussels Style Belgian Wafels

 No, I don't know why they spell waffles with one f but Julian's Recipe 7-Grain Classic Brussels Style Belgian Wafels are hardly worthy of the name. These look great, but are hard to heat up and hard to get right. 

Once you get the hang of these they are passable, but not at all good without topping. If you're going to eat these consider a good old  oatmeal. You put that much sugar in oatmeal to make it edible it is still less likely to drip on your shirt.

Dr. Thunder Soda

 Dr. Thunder Soda is discount Dr. Pepper. It would really like to be a pepper too. In truth, this is not bad, not as good as the real thing, but you won't notice the difference when you're drunk. Dr. Pepper has more flavor and more kick.

Crunch 'N Munch Birthday Cake Flavored Popcorn Clusters

 

Crunch 'N Munch Birthday Cake Flavored Popcorn Clusters are just toffee with funny color things on it. Then again, what flavor is birthday cake? I mean, would that be yellow cake?

In any case, these are really good. I don't know about the name, but if you can see past that they have really thick toffee. I'm a big fat dude, so I should stay away from these, and eat my vegetables, but you all know I'm not going to.