Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Surprise Toy Bag

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night Surpr!se Toy Bag is what you get when you don't want to give candy to the little boogers who come to your door. I found this last year well after Halloween and figured it was an okay deal at five dollars. 

The great thing about this is that you can get it this year at a discount and save it until next year with the full knowledge that any children that eat it will be harmed just as much as if they got it the year before.  

Some of these toys are fun, some of these toys went to my cats, and the majority of them when to some orphans in Mexicali who can't say if they like them because they don't speak English. 

Up side, you won't be eating them before you give them out to the children. 

Barcel Pop Zombie

My brother and I tried this Barcel Pop Zombie popcorn and he thought it tasted like rotten fish...how would he know? I thought it tasted like lime and salt that had been sitting in the sun. We both thought they were nasty and put them out for the birds. 

That's right, pigeons, eat this crap and feel like you've smelled my sister. 

Surprise Toy Playing Cards

Surprise Toy playing cards may show up in your child's Halloween basket this year. The seasoned parent will trade these with their child for a full sized candy bar because the candy may make your child go nuts, but the playing cars are useless for playing and may make a big mess around the house. 

Think about it. Would you want to play go fish with your child using these tiny cards? Your hands will cramp, your eyes will get blurry, and your child will cry when the cards get lost.

Get them out of your house as soon as possible or come Christmas you'll find a little elf trying to convince your wife to play strip poker with these piles of garbage.

Temptations Mix Ups Mummy Mixups cat Treats

Temptations Mix Ups Mummy Mixups cat Treats are what happens when you try to get cats into the idea of Halloween. As you can see the cat is not looking at the package and does not care what you call the treats.

If these make you smile then buy them, but know that your cat things less of you. 

Krispy Kreme Halloween Dozen 2020

 Krispy Kreme Halloween Dozen 2020 one more reason to hope this year ends soon. I'm going to write Krispy Kreme and complain.

Surprise Toy Spinning Tops

Surprise Toy Spinning Tops are the kind of thing you don't mind showing up in your child's Halloween bag so long as your kid is smart enough not to try and eat them which would be very very bad. The smiling faces that look back at you as you play with these toys tells you how we have taken the fear out of death and you ask yourself why there is a blue schlong sticking out of that skull?

Who killed these folks and what did he do to them before he dumped the bodies? 

Krispy Kreme Spooky Drizzle

 

Krispy Kreme Spooky Drizzle is a limp but passable attempt to make a Halloween doughnut. It's not as involved as the monsters that came with it in the Halloween dozen, but it tastes great and has no stale parts.  

Garden Veggie Chips Ghosts+Bats Sea Salt

Garden Veggie Chips Ghosts+Bats Sea Salt are the kind of chip that some folks figured would be a good substitute for candy in your child's Halloween bag. No one wanted these at my local store, but I couldn't stop eating them. 

Not only did I not give them out to the children last year but I went and got two more bags after the holiday for me.  

If you can get past the idea of your food having an oh face like it just walked in on you and that old lady at your work that dresses like she's twenty and thirsty for the man meat getting a little to frisky at the company Halloween party these are a great snack. 

Don't look at me like that. She was only fifty, and everyone got a good laugh out of it. 

Krispy Kreme Original Glazed

 Two Krispy Kreme Original Glazed came in my Halloween pack, and I have to say that this was a disappointment. I came for Halloween and I just got something that will make me fat. You would think that a man as big as me would have tried every Krispy Kreme since the turn of the century, but I only buy these in October to review the Halloween ones. I mean, look, I'm a blimp, I know it, and I shouldn't have doughnuts. So, Halloween gives me a reason to have a really special doughnut or 12 and I get these. Maybe I should skip this next year if I don't lose, say, 50 pounds.

Surprise Toy Super Balls

No, super balls will not make Superman sing like James Earl Jones. They are a toy that I played with in the 80's and a part of me wanted to keep them when I found them in my bag of Surprise Toy meant to replace Halloween candy. 

Then I remembered that I didn't do a thing with them and threw all mine away. These look like marbles, but they bounce like marbles on crack and can wind up in strange places. 

I think I still find one every now and then "How did that get there!?"

Krispy Kreme Chocolate Halloween Sprinkle

 

In a world of sprinkles I'd rather it rain but we are talking about doughnuts here. Krispy Kreme Chocolate Halloween Sprinkle are likely the best you're going to get out of a holiday box at that shop. I mean, simple, Halloween, and tasty, what more could you want?

Butterfinger Crisp

If a Butterfingers were to get a wafer drunk and get busy then what you would get in the end is this. I kind of like Butterfinger better, but these are a fine candy in their own right. 

Your children will not be disappointed if they find these in their candy bag on Halloween. What am I talking about! You know they will be too chocolate wasted to know the difference. 

Surprise Toy Bats

Surprise Toy Bats are just plastic bats that you can give out to children on Halloween. I think these are a little bit, I don't know, boyish and I can't see them being good for girls. I mean, give me one in purple will you? 

Anyway, these are fine toys for those of us who want to play with bats. I mean, they are Halloween themed and designed to be given out on Halloween so children can look at them and wish they were candy for the rest of the holiday season.  

Sin Fit Protein Cookie

I've eaten all kinds of nasty in my life but this stuff is a real nasty that I can't take. This Sin Fit Protein Cookie tasted like it was right from a test tube rather than an oven, and made me gag. I didn't even eat a whole cookie before tossing these in the trash.

Krispy Kreme "Drake" Monster Doughnut

 Krispy Kreme "Drake" Monster Doughnut has no overtly stale bits but the red filling only covers the top of the head. It's kind of disappointing. Of the three monster doughnuts I'd say drake is the best, in fact, I would only eat drakes if given the opportunity. The others left me less than happy. 

So, this one is good. If you only eat one monster doughnut this Halloween make it a Drake.

Imperial Toys Fright in the Night Spiky Ball Things

Imperial Toys Fright in the Night Spiky Ball Things are what some people say make a great Halloween candy substitute. I gave them to my cats. Well, my cats took them from me before I could put them in the bag for the orphans to be more exact. Well, they do make good cat toys. 

Krispy Kreme "Frank" Monster Doughnut

 Krispy Kreme "Frank" Monster Doughnut has stale pretzels for ears. These things have cream for brains that only fills the forehead part of the doughnut. 

They taste find but those ears are just a fail. Not as good as a normal doughnut.

M&M's White Candy Corn

Candy Corn is one of those things that I find people love or hate. Me, I'm no big fan but these M&M's White Candy Corn are not bad at all. I think these are at least good enough for those of us who want to try them once a year. I wouldn't have them all the time but they have an, I don't know how to put it, flavor that is worth trying. 

They are still bad for you so eat in moderation.

Krispy Kreme "Wolfie" Monster Doughnut

 Krispy Kreme's "Wolfie" Monster Doughnut is a fail and a half. The ears are stale cereal and those eyes and teeth are that same thing I didn't like from last year. The frosting fell off and landed on my shirt. Faaaaaail!

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag Skeletons

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag Skeletons may find their way into your child's Halloween candy. For god's sake don't let the children eat them!

Well, they kind of look like they would be great decorations for next year, but getting them on Halloween means that your kid just may be playing with them on Thanksgiving.  

Tell that little mettle head to rock on. 

Halloween Edition Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Fudge

Halloween Edition Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Fudge are a lazy way of making something Halloween esk without doing any real work. 

Yeah, okay, so you get pictures on your pop-tart. You know these are for eating, right, not looking at, and they don't come out all that well.

Fail.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Bubbles Bottles

With those little heart shaped handles  Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Bubbles Bottles are a fine thing to find in your child's Halloween Candy. So long as they don't drink the stuff or try to eat them. Have I mentioned what a bad idea none edible things in candy is?

In any case, I think these are a great idea. Lot's of fun, short lived, easy cleanup. What more could you want? 

Box of Boogers

Box of Boogers is a gummy product that claims to be like real boogers. They are not, but is it a bad thing? I'll grant that we have all eaten boogers at some point in our life...or at very least spit them out when they fill our mouth. Don't look at me like that you booger eater. 

Well, I had some of these and I felt like I had eaten boogers. I would not have thought they where boogers if I had not seen the box. I mean, how do you not call this a fail?

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Recorders

If you find  Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Recorders in your child Halloween toys this year you may just want to kill the fellow who put them in there. These are noisy little monsters that encourage your little monster to do bad things like play bad music. 

Common science says that it takes 10,000 hours to learn music. That's about five years full time. These may turn your children on to music and may even be a lot of fun. They will still be loud and your kids will be running around with them in their mouths' and that just sounds dangerous to me. 

Brach's Maple Candy Corn

Good candy corn is made with Honey. Who would have known? Brach's is the good stuff. So, when I saw this I thought it would be good. It is good. I don't like candy corn and I thought this was some really good stuff. Too bad it's not in a packs you can give out to little monster that come to your door. They are so happy when they get candy corn. 

Carl's Jr. Prime Rib and Cheddar Angus Thickburger

 Carl's Jr. Prime Rib and Cheddar Angus Thickburger is a ghost of what it looks like on the menu. There is a lot less Prime Rib, but there are plenty of onions. The rib didn't cut when I bit into it. It all came out of the burger and I had a mouth full of rib meat. 

Not a bad experience. 

This also dripped all over the place. Tasted okay, but it wasn't a great burger. I'm calling this a Meh, would not buy again. 

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Stickers

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Stickers are an alternative to Halloween candy that permits your child to make a mess without getting fat. They will still get fat and you will have these pumpkin jiggers on your walls for months.

Kellogg's Froot Loops Limited Edition With Spoooky Marshmallows

Kellogg's Froot Loops Limited Edition With Spoooky Marshmallows is as poorly spelled as it is bad for children. I mean, Froot Loops has all the sugar you need and then you add more with marshmallows. This tastes mostly like normal Froot Loops. It made me want to go out and get something without so much sugar.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Snakes

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Snakes are small and easy to swallow. After that, I think these are kind of fun. I mean, I would have played with them as a kid, but I don't know If I would want them in my Halloween candy.

DC Dark Knight Brownie Bite

 DC Dark Knight Brownie Bite is a must have for the Batman lover in you. I have to admit I would think Batman Ice Cream would be coffee flavored because he's always up at night. That, and Batman is really some rich white dude so really? Chocolate? 

In any case, the brownie bites do little for this ice cream but the chocolate bats are the bomb. 

Some fans may be disappointed that this does not taste like Batman, or even bat for that matter. Trust me, bat flavored ice cream would be terrible, and I have no idea what Batman tastes like, but I don't want to know. 

Not a bad ice cream. Would buy again.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag: Mini Puzzle Maze

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Supr!se Toy Bags have these  Mini Puzzle Maze things to give out on Halloween. I don't know how I feel about these things. I mean, they're good for your brain but did you ever use them?

Twizzlers Orange Cream Pop

 Twizzlers Orange Cream Pop are a crazy candy I ran into one day at the dollar store and I have to say you got to try these. I don't think I have ever had an Orange Cream Pop but these taste like Orange Julius. Twizzlers are kind of things that just taste like themselves. They are nothing like liquorice. 

In any case, if you want to try something new and interesting these are right for the job.  I would get more, but I'm fat.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag Mini Slinky

Imperial Toys Mini Slinkys come in your Fright in the Night, Supr!se Toy Bag or you could just go get four dozen for like 15 bucks on Amazon. Parents aren't too jazzed about these but the children love them. I have no data on how they feel after playing with them, but getting them, kids are just off the wall about these little things.

Tru-Blu Almond Windmill Cookies

 Tru-Blu Almond Windmill Cookies are mild. They are so mild I think they would help with gut pain. I mean, if you want to eat these things they will bore your tongue to sleep and you'll need coffee to wake it back up again.

Good for dipping, bad for eating, not worth the fat it will put on me. I have enough fat already.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy: Vampire Fangs

Imperial Toys Vampire Fangs come five to a pack in your Fright in the Night Supr!se toy bag. Now the idea is to give children something to play with rather than eat on Halloween so these little ditties work okay. The only real problem is that the time to play with them is October and you would get them on the 31st. Good luck saving them for next year.

Yoplait Gushers Green Apple Yogurt

 If the idea of little blobs bursting in your mouth as you eat yogurt appeals to you then Yoplait Gushers Green Apple Yogurt is your jam. Oddly, it is not very apple flavored. Maybe it's apple iphone flavored, I've never eaten one of those, but it tastes nothing like any green apple I have ever tried. 

I'm reasonably sure these are hard to find now, because most folks just found them too odd to eat. It's kind of like there are a lot of little grapes in there that you keep eating. Only the grapes are old and have no fiber. 

I'm going to go try grapes in yogurt now because that sounds much better than this stuff. This stuff is meh. Unimpressive.

Imperial Toys, Fright in the Night, Suprise Toy Bag Paddle Toy

This 'Imperial Toys' Paddle Toy is a substitute for candy that one gives away on Halloween. The toy is, believe it or not, not designed to make parents go crazy. The fact that you get three of them in one bag means that your children can all play with them ... or use them as weapons of mass annoyance and paddle each other.

DC Krypton Cookie Dough Superman Ice Cream

 Superman may not wear his undies outside of his pants any more, but you can now get some Krypton Cookie Dough Ice Cream to drowned your sorrows in. This is a world that needs a superman who doesn't have a rubber jaw and isn't so blue. 

How is the ice cream, it's okay. I mean, the blue things aren't that great and the cookie dough is small and could have more flavor. It's not bad ice cream, but it's not great. 

Fast Bites Cheeseburger

 

I love cheeseburgers but Fast Bites Cheeseburger some how offend me. I mean, these are those burgers with the soft meat that is full of things that are not meat. On the one hand a hamburger is so easy to make, and on the other these are deliciously bad for me. 

The worst part is that these are so fast and easy that I could eat them all day and not think about it until my gut exploded and engulfed the world. Then you would have my intestines on your lawn. No one wants that.  

Shortly, eat these like candy, in moderation.