Carl's Jr. Sausage Egg & Cheese Biscuit

There was a time that morning would come and a mom would ask “what should I do with these biscuits?” If they were stale you would cover them with gravy and feed them to your hungry farmers like that, but if the family needed to get on the road and fast you’d fill one with breakfast foods and send them on their way. 

At Carl’s Jr. You can get both of these relics of a bygone era, and this was the Sausage and Egg with cheese version. Cheese wouldn’t have been in the early version I would think. 

Anyway, this is on the dry side and I wouldn’t call it something to talk about. If a biscuit is what you want to start your day this is your jam. 

 

MoonPie Mini Pumpkin Spice Sandwich

 MoonPie's Mini Pumpkin Spice Sandwiches are easy to turn into little pumpkins with some black frosting or Jack O Lanterns with some colored frosting, but they don't have any spice. 

You can tell there is some attempt at flavor but MoonPies, ore at least their minis, taste like food made for space explorers when they can't store anything else. 

When you need a snack I will admit these are handy and unoffensive but once you get past that they get all over the place. Fail, but edible.

Smucker's Uncrustables Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread Sandwich

 Smucker's Uncrustables Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread Sandwich would normally lose me at the 'flavored', but they were on sale and I'm a sucker for a sale. Chocolate flavored is not chocolate! Anyway, they taste like chocolate.

Were it not for them being very bad for you I would say that these are okay but to be honest this is just another kind of chocolate filled cookie that you shouldn't eat unless you're trying to get fat.  

That isn't to say I didn't like them but more that they needed to be more than just dead calories.

Starbucks Impossible™ Breakfast Sandwich

 The Starbucks Impossible Breakfast Sandwich is not vegan. I'll grant you that I'm also not a vegan and so this doesn't bother me, but I do try a good amount of vegan food.

The goal of vegan food is to be as good as the real deal so that people will give up eating meat. This fell well short of that goal, but I will admit I didn't mind it. I wouldn't really get it again, but it was okay. 

Starbucks Double-Smoked Bacon, Cheddar & Egg Sandwich

 Starbucks Double-Smoked Bacon, Cheddar & Egg Sandwich sounds like a cure to a hangover. It sounds better than it tastes and it is small. Then at 500 calories its good with an apple or a banana. Have it with fruit is what I'm saying. 

To be fair, this is a moderately balanced half meal that would go very well with a fruit smoothie that isn't too sugary. It will get your body up an moving on a hard morning. 

We don't have hard mornings so much in LA. More hard afternoons where a cold smoothie, a cold brew, and generally anything cold will give you the get up and go for the rest of the day.  

Anyway, microwaved sandwich thing is okay. 

Starbucks Bacon, Gouda & Egg Sandwich

 Starbucks' Bacon, Gouda & Egg Sandwich is missing its Oxford comma. It isn't large and will leave you wanting more, but then you just got a five dollar drink didn't you?

Coffee can make you fat so this sandwich is under four hundred calories. It's not bad but didn't stand out to me.

Oreo Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Cookies

Oreo Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Cookies are okay. I mean, chocolate peanut butter pie sounds way better but these cookies are okay. I guess they are some of the better Oreo Cookies I've had, but that isn't a high bar. I think these are okay, but I wouldn't go looking for more.
 

Minees Sandwich Creme Cookies Chocolate with Vanilla Cream

 Minees Sandwich Creme Cookies Chocolate with Vanilla Cream are the kind of dry one needs to have with a drink. They are small enough so that you can eat them on their own but they need a drink to be truly enjoyed. 

They're okay. I mean, I wouldn't go looking for them but they are just fine to put in a school lunch or keep in your work bag for a snack. 

Fast Bites BBQ Chicken Sandwich

The BBQ Chicken Sandwich by Fast Bites will not satisfy. They are small and not meant to be a full meal. I will admit that I refuse to see how bad these probably are for me but I love having them around to toss in my lunch bag. They are good little chicken sandwiches.

Let's just hope they don't go running around saying the sky is falling, because that would mean they went bad.  Chicken hallucinations are never a good thing.
 

Albertsons Ready Meals Ham & Swiss Pretzel Duo Sandwich

 Albertsons Ready Meals Ham & Swiss Pretzel Duo Sandwich have a strangely banana flavor. The salt corns tend to fall off the bread and don't add much to the flavor. 

If it were not so strangely fruity it would be a really good sandwich. Then again, what is a really good sandwich?

Albertson's Ready Meals Spice Pepper Turkey & Pepper Jack Cheese Sandwich

When you keep forgetting your lunch and are on your way to work you may stop at your local Alberston's and grab a Albertson's Ready Meals Spice Pepper Turkey & Pepper Jack Cheese  Sandwich. These things are made with that cheesecake factory bread they sell. 

I think these are better for you than a hamburger and run about half as much as a fast food meal. Then again, these are not as satisfying and they don't come with a drink. Still, if you need something fast and that will last in the refrigerator at work, these will do nicely.  

Carl's Jr. Hand-Breaded Chicken and Waffle Sandwich

 Yes, now you too can be unimpressed by the new Carl's Jr. Hand-Breaded Chicken and Waffle Sandwich all day long. They smell better than they taste but they just don't taste all that much. 

I have to admit they made these fresh for me, but there isn't enough of the maple butter to give them anything but the smell. They look so much better in the ad, but in real life this is what you get.

Disappointed to the max

Lunchables Turkey & Cheddar Sub Sandwich

 Lunchables Turkey & Cheddar Sub Sandwich has got to be one of the dumber ideas from Lunchables given that you can just make a sandwich. I guess if you were on your way to work and needed food, stopped at the store, and found this it would be fast. 

Still, it comes with no mustered, only mayo, and the whole thing tasted old even as I tried it a day after I got it home from the store. The cookies could hardly be called such and that juice is the kind that you should never drink because you can't see what's in that pack.

I mean, true story, they once found a frog in a can of soda so I never drink from the can. 

Sweet Earth Harmless Ham* and Chickpea Patty Sandwich

 Sweet Earth Harmless Ham* and Chickpea Patty Sandwich tastes like vegan food. I mean, it is vegan food, but the whole point of vegan food is that it should taste like good food not vegan food. The overall point of vegan food is to make you not miss animal products. 

 This is a fine enough sandwich but it will never stand up to a breakfast sandwich. That is not a frozen or fresh one. It just isn't as good as the real deal. You can eat this, it's not going to make you sick, but it's not going to satisfy.

Launch Box Kickin' Chicken Cheddar

Launch Box Kickin' Chicken Cheddar is the idea that you can make a chicken sandwich fun. It's a chicken sandwich. What the heck more could you want? 

Anyway, these are best if you cook them for a bit in the microwave and have them hot. These are kind of unimpressive, but a fast way to add something to your lunch. 

Kentucky Fried Chicken & Donuts Sandwich

The Kentucky Fried Chicken & Donuts Sandwich sounds like a good idea until you find you can't hold onto the sandwich because it drips frosting all over the place. 

Does it taste good? Well, yes, it taste rather good, but don't think you're going to work after eating one. Change that shirt you slob!

Subway Sandwiches Ultimate Steak Sandwich

Subway Sandwiches Ultimate Steak Sandwich is a hot sandwich that will give you garlic breath for days. Is it good, yes, totally worth it as long as it doesn't ward off the love of your life, but that garlic is no joke. 

I would get this again if it were not for the fact that I need to try new things every day. 

Subway Sandwiches Ultimate Spicy Italian Sandwich

Subway has its Ultimate sandwich line of which the Spicy Italian is one. These are sandwiches made with a cheesy garlic bread that needs its own time in the oven to make before adding heated meat and serving. 

Now the Spicy Italian is totally kickin' when it's in your mouth but gets everywhere when it's in your hand. I mean, oily thing this sandwich.  

If you want to have one of these for lunch then bad idea because you'll look like a slob at work. Have one for dinner, and then go home and change...then wash those clothes before the stains won't come out. 

Farmer Boys Sourdough Chicken Avocado Sandwich

Farmer Boys has this Sourdough Chicken Avocado Sandwich which is lacking in the Sourdough department. I mean, it wasn't sour at all. The whole point of the sourdough is to give the sandwich and extra edge of flavor which it failed to do. Other than that, good sandwich. Nothing to tell your mom about.

Troy's Burgers Pastrami Sandwich

Well, so like a dumb ass you're starting a diet today when Troy's Burgers in Orange is probably empty and all that salt and protein will help you recover from the hangover. Google maps is going to call this place Troy's Drive-In for some reason but then the place is kind of forgettable. 

Then it has no drive through or drive in so I don't get why anyone would call it that. I mean, it hardly has a parking lot. 

Anyway, stick to your diet. This pastrami is okay.