Burger King Vampire Nuggets

You’re inner mentally deficient five year old will grin at these Burger King Vampire Nuggets. They’re kind of like chicken dinos when you get right down to it, but they have that give of silly buddy that marks them as really bad chicken.

There is something just wrong about eating chicken that doesn’t look like chicken, and something even worse about eating chicken that has given up on looking like chicken and now looks like corny Halloween junk that you give to dumb kids so they can play monster.

They taste okay but they’re not chicken-ness will make them bad for you. On the up side the preservative will keep your body from rotting longer and they can use you as a Halloween prop all month.

 

Burger King BOGO Jack-O-Lantern Whopper

The BOGO Jack-O-Lantern Whopper from Burger King has got to be the worst Whopper I have ever had. This is partly because they got my order wrong and it had pickles and onions in it which I hate and the rest of the way because it was already cold when I got into it.

The bun is made of that kind of food grade plastic that makes it wrinkle up when cold and it feels different from a normal bun. I did like the black seeds but they were the only highlight to this food fail.

I miss the good old black Whoppers that turned your stool green. They were a lot more fun.

 

Burger King Mummy Mozzarella Fries

King: What can we do to make these Mozzarella Fries more Halloweenish?

Jester: Let’s call them Mummy Mozzarella Fries your burgerness.

King: What an idea that is.

And that must have been how these Burger King Mummy Mozzarella Fries got there name because they are made with zero percent mummy, they are not wrapped, and they look like normal mozzarella fries to me.

They also totally suck cold, the marinara sauce they come with is disgusting, and I would never get them again accept for the fact that they will likely come around next year so I will.

Anyway, if you want these make sure to get them in store and fresh or they will be a real let down and don’t expect anything to be cool about them but the box.