Banquet Popcorn Chicken

Few things in my life have been as much of an outright disappointment as Banquet Popcorn Chicken. I cooked this stuff three times as long as the pack says and it still will not crisp up. Stale tasting and soft these little buggers are something to put your dip on and little more. 

I mean, I'm a big fat guy, to us popcorn chicken is like little balls of happiness. These are just sad.