7-Eleven Buffalo Chicken Roller

 Chickens do not have dicks... Ducks do, and I'm asking myself why I know this. Anyway these  7-Eleven Buffalo Chicken Roller look both like a dog turd and some how a chicken dick with doesn't exist. They are never as hot as they really should be but have a lingering buffalo flavor that can get on hour hands. 

I think these would be good if you put them in an air fryer, but as they are they are the Twinkies of meat.  

Jack in the Box Mint Twisted Soda 2025

Last year I tried Jack in the Box Mint Twisted Soda, and I think Jack was trying to insult St. Patrick. I never got that mint and St. Patrick’s Day business, and I never will, but that’s what the world says is a thing and so it is a thing I guess.

Anyway, this was mint and lemon lime soda. It really didn’t go well together, and the milk aspects of the drink I felt did it no service.

I wouldn’t get this again and I wish I could erase it from my memory.

 

JOLT Root Beer Energy Drink

I never got to try Jolt as a kid. I saw it a few times in stores and wanted to try it but never got around to it. Then on a wim I ordered root beer flavored Jolt which was not a thing when I was a kid. 

To be dead honest, it's not bad. It's not as good as real root beer but it gets the job done. It has no head, which is a bad thing, but it tastes okay and keeps me going on the long shifts. 
 

7-Eleven Ultimate Pepperoni

 7-Eleven must have some big harry donkey nuts to call this Ultimate Pepperoni. It's hard to screw up pizza and this isn't screwed up but I would still say as pizza goes it's bottom tear at best.

I didn't expect it to be as good as the frozen pizza I eat at home and it wasn't. Sad, stale, and needing cheese, I still eat this on long shifts at work because I can grab it and keep it in a bag.  

This skirts the boundaries of what can be called food.  

Albanese 12 Flavor Gummi Cubs

I guess gummi Bears is under copyright so here are the, um, high end knock off Albanese 12 Flavor Gummi Cubs. I don’t know what I really think of these. I have had better gummi concoctions than this but why are people just obsessed with bears?

Odd thing being that these came in an Easter basket, well, Easter thing anyway. What to bears have to do with Easter? About as much as bunnies have to do with Jesus I guess.

Chick-fil-A Chick-n-Strips

 Come on Chick-fil-A you had to give you chicken strips a dumb name like Chick-n-Strips? It's trademarked and everything.

Anyway, these chicken strips are small. They would be right in calling them fingers more than strips but you pay out the tail for them.

These are not as crispy as Carl's Jr. but much better than Jack in the  Box. They have a strong flavor on their own. I have to say that if you want the chicken without the dip these are the bees knees.   

Lemon Meringue Pie M&M's

 I didn't know what to think when I saw these Lemon Meringue Pie M&M's. They are White Chocolate which is not real chocolate but is made from the right stuff so I'm not pressing the issue.

They have puff rice like stuff in them to give them size and I think they weigh less than normal M&M's but they do have a strong flavor of lemon that will bring you in if lemon is your jam. 

They don't have real lemon, so you're eating acid from the lab, but that is food these days.  

Winchell's Cream Cheese Muffin

From what I gather this is a Winchell's Cream Cheese Muffin. The difference between a muffin and a cupcake is frosting and as this hasn't got it it's a muffin. 

This one had a few bits of pineapple I think. Whatever it was it was yellow and not supposed to be there, but they're not normally there anyway.

These things tend to be best eating at the top, okay at the bottom, and leave you wanting more. I've gotten a few of them over the last few months. 

I stay away from doughnuts when I can but I work odd hours and this was what was open. 
 

Carl's Jr. Monster Biscuit

I reviewed the Carl's Jr. Monster Biscuit ten years ago and so I'm trying it again to see if it's the same. It is. This all the breakfast stuff they have on one biscuit and I think double egg. There is no monster in this at all. 

It's a lot of biscuit that gets all over and makes a mess. Eat with moderation.  

7 Up Cake Bites

 I don't understand 7 Up Cake Bites. I would just drink the soda and make cake if it were me. 

These do taste like 7 Up. I don't think they used enough to make them taste enough and they were a little dry. This is not as good as the full sized cake and good enough for coffee but what isn't good with coffee? 

McDonald's Big Arch

 The McDonald's Big Arch is a lot of burger at a high price. I can't say this is a good deal. There is a lot going on for that price starting with a poppy and sesame seed bun of solid quality. 

You folks know how much I hate bad buns.

Then you move on to the shredded lettuce that gets all over, slivered onions, and pickles. These are all things I would have off the burger because it's size will wilt the lettuce, I get sick if I eat raw onion, and pickles just have too much salt.

As for the two burger patties and cheese, well, it's the wrong cheese. Not enough flavor in that cheese to be worth it. The two patties are bigger than standard clown burgers but still not all meat. They have additives, and I can tell. 

Then you have the sauce and crisp onions. Both kind of get all over, but add to the overall flavor of the sandwich making it better.

This is a lot of burger and sure edible but nothing to write home about. I found it satisfying if not great. 

McDonald's Shamrock Shake 2026

The 2026 edition of the McDonald's Shamrock Shake is not as thick as it used to be. Why I can't say but it is likely because of natural ingredients as apposed to the food grad polymer that it used to have.

Gone are the triple thick shakes that coated your french fries, but it's worth it to know that you're not eating plastic. 

Anyway, it's a mildly peppermint shake. I thought it was okay.  
 

McDonald's Hot Honey Sauce

 Hot Honey Sauce came and went at McDonald's and I don't miss it. The Honey flavor was long lost over the hot and the hot tastes out of a lab more than off a pepper. I thought it was okay on food but not as good for dipping. 

Pop-Tarts Girl Scouts Frosted Coconut Caramel

Girl Scout cookies are not made by or with girl scouts. Worse, they put coconut in some of those things. Why!? The Pop-Tarts version has no dry coconut to be tasted but then the cookies are called Samohas or something and not Frosted Coconut Caramel.

They do taste kind of like the cookies but not as sugary. Not sure why you’d eat these but they are just fine.

 

Carl's Jr. Sausage Egg & Cheese Biscuit

There was a time that morning would come and a mom would ask “what should I do with these biscuits?” If they were stale you would cover them with gravy and feed them to your hungry farmers like that, but if the family needed to get on the road and fast you’d fill one with breakfast foods and send them on their way. 

At Carl’s Jr. You can get both of these relics of a bygone era, and this was the Sausage and Egg with cheese version. Cheese wouldn’t have been in the early version I would think. 

Anyway, this is on the dry side and I wouldn’t call it something to talk about. If a biscuit is what you want to start your day this is your jam. 

 

Deli Fresh Muenster Cheese Sliced

Oh, Deli Fresh, how I hate your name. I mean, do you know how hard it is to track down so generic a name. The brand could only be more generic if it were something like cold cuts.

 

In any case, Deli Fresh Muenster Cheese Sliced is about like any other muenster I’ve eaten. Muenster is softer and creamy by comparison to say Swiss cheese and it has less of the flavor. It melts easily.

 

Deli Fresh makes a fine Muenster. I would get it again.

 

McDonald's Hot Honey Snack Wraps

 McDonald’s, there is an inside and an outside to a tortilla and it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out which is which. The Hot Honey Snack Wrap is not that much different than the normal snack wraps but if you’re a snack wrap fan this is something new. I wouldn’t say great or interesting, but good enough to liven up you snack wrap game. 

Jack in the Box Grilled Chicken Teriyaki Protein Bowl

Grilled Chicken teriyaki Bowls were a thing at one point and I had them in the freezer back then. Add the protean bit, because you can, and you have the Jack in the Box version that tastes about as good as the ones I got frozen. Like the ones I got frozen they need more vegetables and could be a lot better if made fresh. 

If you really want to eat healthy the salads at Jack are still a better option. These are better than a burger but not by far. 

 

Lemonade Apples

 Lemonade Apples would be hard to find this time of year. They only hit stores in fall to late winter and I got these at Trader Joe’s. With a name like Lemonade I would have thought these were a lot more lemon tasting but I have no idea how you would apple that in the first place. 
This is a small apple very much like the golden delicious, but stronger in flavor and just a hair more tart. It’s an apple and apples mostly taste like apples. This is just a fancy apple. 

The Jack in the Box Supreme Croissant

The Jack in the Box Supreme Croissant isn’t very supreme. The whole thing is a bit small and slim really. I can’t say I disliked them but like most breakfast sandwiches I found it to be small and lack luster. It could use some pepper of something.

I wouldn’t turn my nose up at one of these but I wouldn’t get another one if there were other options.