Saturday, August 31, 2024

Simply Asia Sesame Teriyaki Noodle Bowl

 

Few foods are as associated with school as pot noodles. This Simply Asia Sesame Teriyaki Noodle Bowl is interesting because it uses way less water. The only thing there is that it is not totally dehydrated so you're kind of buying more water. 

I got these on sale and figured they would be an easy meal to take to work as my work is forcing me to take a lunch anyway.  

If you can eyeball the water you can come away from this feeling oddly disappointed as the teriyaki isn't very strong. I also don't know if it would work well for your dorm room needs as it would be very hard to make one of these if you have a hangover. 

Meh. 

Friday, August 30, 2024

Atkins Stone Fired Tree Meat Pizza


 Atkins Stone Fired Tree Meat Pizza doesn't look like much but I over cooked it just a little. It will get black in the middle when you over cook it so don't do that. 

It was okay, as pizza goes it's not like I would go and buy more and more of them and I'm known for buying frozen pizza. 

This is one hundred percent edible.

Thursday, August 29, 2024

Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack Cheeseburgers

 To say that the Jack in the Box Jumbo Jack is a cheeseburger is to say that water is water. I mean, this is what a fast-food cheeseburger looks like. It is as cheeseburger as it can be.

I’ll grant you that at almost any small time burger joint you’ll find that the meat is a lot more firm and that the bun is a little larger, but most American cheeseburgers look like the Jack in the Box version. It’s a little smaller, made from cow and science, and you don’t want to know what else.

I need to eat more small time burgers. 

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Jelly Belly Margarita Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Margarita Jelly Beans taste like kiwi. I don't know why you would even call that margarita but I guess you can make a margarita out of kiwi. 

Anyway, these are not worth getting fat over. 

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Healthy Choice Power Bowl Greek Style Chicken

 In the world of frozen food, I often say ‘where are the vegetables’? I can’t say that with this Healthy Choice Power Bowl Greek Style Chicken because it’s almost all vegetables, but cauliflower is rarely something I want to see.

Further, if you’re looking to lose weight then these are great because you would never eat one and there isn’t much to them anyway. This was just nasty. I mean, you look at what they put on the box and what they put in the food and the two things look nothing like each other.

Monday, August 26, 2024

Jelly Belly Sour Cherry Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Sour Cherry Jelly Beans are really sour. I mean, I'm not into sour, but if you like sour cherry these really do hit the spot. They do lighten up a little as you chew but they are just bursting with flavor.

Sunday, August 25, 2024

Marie Callender's Chicken Teriyaki Bowl Sweet Pineapple


 Marie Callender's Chicken Teriyaki Bowl Sweet Pineapple is an odd bird with it's low quality vegetables and almost no pineapple. Then, do you really want teriyaki pineapple? I mean, it was fine but felt odd. I liked it better than the water chestnuts.

The biggest thing about this bowl is that there aren't enough vegetables, and the ones you get look like the odds and ends left in the machine after the good ones get used. There could also be more chicken.

The whole thing was okay, but I wouldn't call it filling or good.

If you can't cook and need something to take to work this will do. I would even say if you don't have a big appetite and need food at home but can't cook this is okay. I wouldn't say this is something I can recommend to a friend. 

Saturday, August 24, 2024

Prime Tropical Punch

Prime Tropical Punch is almost good. I wouldn't say it was really good but almost good. It tasted like tropical Punch that is just a little off. Being a little off it just isn't that great. 

I can't say that Prime gets me going, but I drink these things all the time. I live in a world of night hours and caffeine. Prime just isn't going to have much kick for me.
 

Friday, August 23, 2024

Boston Market Home Style Meals Beef Pot Roast

Boston Market Beef Pot Roast has onions that add nothing to the flavor. It has vegetables, I guess it has enough of those but there could be more. I could have used some peas in with the green beans as well.

There was a good amount of mashed potatoes. I mean, they just kept on giving with those things, but they skimped on the pot roast.  You would think with pot roast big name there it would have more roast. They should have called this mashed potatoes with some roast and vegetables. 

 

Thursday, August 22, 2024

Jelly Belly Raspberry Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Raspberry Jelly Beans have one of those dynamic flavors that start sweet and then goes more raspberry. The fruit flavors never did sit well with me, but if you like raspberry then these taste kind of like jam.

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Sliced Roast Beef


 Hillshire Farm Ultra Thin Sliced Roast Beef was on sale, because it was close to it's sell by date, and I figured maybe my cats would eat it. They do, to be honest, they really do. It was a good buy. 

Stuff was wet and soft, but I think that's how deli meat should be. It wasn't so soft that it broke up when I  put it on my bread. There were a few bits that didn't want to chew down, but over all it was fine. 

I would say that you can get better, but that this isn't bad, and it comes in a box you can reuse, so that's a plus. This isn't the kind of meat you put on crackers but it gets the job done and pets like it too.

Tuesday, August 20, 2024

Jack in the Box Classic Mini Chimi Bang Bangs


 Jack in the Box's Classic Mini Chimi Bang Bangs are small flavorless things that are not worth the price. These will be as good as what you put on them, but you could just get fries.

Hot Pockets Deli Wich Cheddar & Ham Sandwiches


 Hot Pockets Deli Wich Cheddar & Ham Sandwiches are the kind of thing you can pop out of the freezer in the morning and they will be ready to eat by lunch. They are also less likely to go bad being frozen at breakfast time. 

The ham is the tough kind that gets stuck in your teeth but you can keep these ready for those hangover mornings when you can't make the kids lunch. I don't have children or hangovers but I sympathize with people who do. 

Monday, August 19, 2024

Jack in the Box Bacon & Swiss Buttery Smashed Jack


 Bacon & Swiss Buttery Smashed Jack is new at Jack in the Box and it was all garlic and butter. I didn't really taste the Swiss, but I could tell it was there. This dripped all over and as for the smashed part, well, it was thinner than a normal burger, but it was definitely not smashed. 

Smashed burgers need to be cooked a bit more for the larger surface area to change the flavor. This was fine but it wasn't better than the normal burger. 

Smucker's Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam


 Smucker's Uncrustables Peanut Butter & Strawberry Jam have more flavor than the grape. They are still almost candy and bad for you, but what isn't now days?

Are these bad? No, they are just fine but they will not make a balanced meal. I could go through a pack of them in about five minutes but they're not bad eating.

Sunday, August 18, 2024

Jelly Belly Lemon Drop Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Lemon Drop Jelly Beans have a strong lemon flavor. I think they taste like most lemon candy only they taste like hard candy not soft candy. If you want to chew up lemon drops then these are a great thing to have.

For me, I'm just to much man  to have these often.

Saturday, August 17, 2024

Fast Bites Ham & Cheese Sandwich


 Fast Bites Ham & Cheese Sandwich is, well, a ham sandwich. There was a time when calling something a ham sandwich meant it was easy to get your hands on and didn't cost you too much. 

This ham sandwich comes frozen, can be kept for a long time, and comes out of its 55 second cook time a little cold. If you want it hot I would recommend taking the cheese out, cooking the rest longer, then adding the cheese back so it doesn't liquefy. 

past that, it's not bad.

Friday, August 16, 2024

Smart Ones Chicken Fettuccine

 Smart Ones Chicken Fettuccine is okay. For being small and disappointing I couldn’t find anything wrong with the food itself. I almost want to get another one so that I can show an example of a D grade meal.

 

I will admit that Smart Ones Chicken Fettuccine is not even a D grade meal because it is not really a meal. I believe the minimum Calorie count for a meal is three hundred and fifty, and these are only three hundred.

 

If you went around eating these for lunch you would likely do more snaking or feel hungry and miserable until dinner.


Thursday, August 15, 2024

Jack in the Box Jack’s Famous Buttermilk Ranch Dip

I first noticed just how many sauces Jack in the Box has when I was going through the drive through of the one nearest my work and was directed to a sign near the window that lists them. They have a whole bunch and I’ve been trying to try them all.

 

You would think Jack’s Famous Buttermilk Ranch Dip would just be like their salad dressing, but it doesn’t look to need refrigeration like the dressing does. This is a smoother kind of thing that holds its shape a little more but does taste about the same.

 

I’m not the biggest fan of ranch so I’m not the biggest fan of this but I would still not be upset if this were in my bag instead of a new sauce. Well, save for the fact that I would be unable to review a new sauce.


 

Wednesday, August 14, 2024

Burger King Fiery Strawberry Sprite

Burger King Fiery Strawberry Sprite is not a thing you should have with the rest of the Fiery menu because you won't taste the heat. It is the lowest heat on the menu.

You taste Sprite at first then strawberry then you could get just a whiff of that heat. There isn't much of it, and it's not worth trying.
 

Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs


 Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs are not disgusting. Lean Cuisine isn't food I would say is good so that's not a bad review. I mean, as Lean Cuisine goes you can do much worse. 

The meatballs are hardly balls, but they tasted alright. 

If you really like Swedish Meatballs then your going to be disappointed here, but disappointment is part of life and what I have come to expect from these frozen meals.

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Burger King Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich


 Burger King Fiery Bacon Royal Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a sloppy thing that drips all over the place. It has nothing offensive even if it does make a mass. You get chicken, pepper jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, and that creamy hot sauce.

If you want something so hot that you need to drink something this will not do. It his a manageable heat. I wouldn't get this over a whopper but then I'm a fat man into bland food. 

Smucker's Uncrustables Peanut Butter and Grape Spread Sandwich on Wheat Bread


 Smucker's Uncrustables Peanut Butter and Grape Spread Sandwich on Wheat Bread has one of the long names I hate and comes in your freezer section as a way to not make your kid lunch for school. 

As they are frozen and need to thaw they are fine for a lunchbox but not so good for a quick snack. I sometimes pick them up before work and by lunch time they are ready to eat. I can eat a whole box for lunch and still want more. 

I have to ask why the "spread" in the name? Are they made with real grapes? They have no vitamin C.

Sadly, this is not something that should be thought of as the main part of the meal. They are sugary, small, and un-filling. 

Place these in the same lot as candy or cookies and you got the right idea. I'd still give your kids a meat sandwich to go with them.

Monday, August 12, 2024

McDonald's KIT KAT Banana Split McFlurry

McDonald's KIT KAT Banana Split McFlurry? I didn't taste any banana split in there? I mean, doesn't a banana split have stuff like banana, nuts, cherries, and other stuff. I never had a banana split but I know what they look like. 

The Kit Kat is stale and old and not present enough for this to taste good. Give this a pass because it's a disappointment. 
 

Jelly Belly Coconut Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Coconut Jelly Beans remind me of some coconut rum I had so many many years ago. Oh, it was the best coconut flavor I ever had. These are good. Not as good as the Caramel Corn beans, but they are still very good.

Sunday, August 11, 2024

Mighty Swell Spiked Seltzer Pink Colada



 Mighty Swell Spiked Seltzer Pink Colada is the kind of a drink you only really want on a hot day. It's better than most spiked seltzer but still not great.

This is a fine way to beat the heat but not to keep chill. It passes over the low bar of not making me want to spit it out for spiked seltzer.

Saturday, August 10, 2024

Costco Food Court Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie


 With more Calories than a slice of pizza the Costco Food Court Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie is way too much of a good thing. I mean, this was massive and tastes like it was right out of the oven. I wish I had milk to go with it but I wish it wasn't a thing because I'm fat and it's just way too good. 

The dang thing is a meal unto itself and I buy too much at Costco anyway. 

Green Giant Baby Brussels Sprouts & Butter Sauce

Baby Brussels Sprouts & Butter Sauce feel like a throwback to when it was hard to preserve food so we added a fat to keep the bugs off. It was a simpler time when we knew little about nutrition. 

Green Giant Baby Brussels Sprouts & Butter Sauce is part of there simple steam line meaning that it comes in a microwaveable pack. These are easy to store, quick and simple to make, and better than not having vegetables. 

The fact that you only have one vegetable is a down side but if you're making these for a family you can grill ups some carrots and cauliflower then toss these on top and mix them in. 

Flavor wise, these are fine, I would add pepper if I were eating these on their own. They are one more food that is unoffensive and unoffensive is a good thing with vegetables.  
 

Friday, August 9, 2024

Burger King Fiery Bacon Whopper

The Burger King Fiery Bacon Whopper tastes like the sauce they put on it and little else. That's neither good nor bad, but the sauce is creamy and mildly hot. 

I found this to be okay. I would have liked it as a welcome change to my normal diet if I still ate out as much as I used to. I don't eat out as much but if I did I would get this once or twice.
 

Jelly Belly Caramel Corn Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Caramel Corn Jelly Beans are some of the best I've had. These things taste like pop corn all right and they are better than the real caramel corn. If I were not a big fat dude I would eat these things and order more.

Thursday, August 8, 2024

Panda Express Cream Cheese Rangoon

Panda Express Cream Cheese Rangoon is one the large side to put in my mouth, but maybe you're supposed to eat it in more than bone bite. I've only had Rangoon once before, and I don't know much about it. 

I would say I liked this Rangoon. It would have been better had it been fresher, but it was still good enough for me to want more.
 

Wednesday, August 7, 2024

Fruity King Mini Blueberry Soda


 Fruity King Mini Blueberry Soda is more sugar per ounce than normal soda and it tastes a bit bitter. I don't think it tastes like blueberries but blueberries don't have much of a flavor in the modern day. I don't know if they tasted better back in the day. 

On the one hand, this is less ounces than a soda and so there are sodas that are more sugar, but on the other your child  will drink more of them and get the sugar down faster. 

I wouldn't get these again. They taste fine but set off my diabetes.

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Burger King Fiery Chicken Fries

Burger King Fiery Chicken Fries were something of a dry heat. They were dry, and I could feel the heat, but it wasn't all that strong. They didn't come with dipping sauce which surprised me but that could be a mistake on the part of the branch.

I think the normal chicken fries are better, but that could be because these were just old. I wouldn't get them again.
 

Jelly Belly Very Cherry Jelly Beans

 

Jelly Belly Very Cherry Jelly Beans are a classic cherry flavor that you should know instantly. There is nothing really out there about cherry but this is cherry at its most cherry so if you like cherry this will cherry for you.

Monday, August 5, 2024

Boston Market Sweet & Sour Chicken


 Disturbingly missing from this Boston Market Sweet & Sour Chicken is most of the chicken. It feels like someone ate most of the chicken and left you all the little ones that were to small to fork. 

I mean, it's kind of like getting orange chicken with that one girl you used to date who never wanted to order anything but ate most of your food. 

To be fair, this tastes all right and is very much what I would have expected flavor wise but it's still mostly rice and not enough chicken. 

Sunday, August 4, 2024

Jelly Belly Mango Jelly Beans


 Jelly Belly Mango Jelly Beans are like the concentrated flavor of the mango energy drinks I used to get. They still sell them but not were I shop. 

These are really the right mix of tart and sweet. Top notch, Jelly Belly, top notch.

Saturday, August 3, 2024

Jack in the Box Bacon Swiss Buttery Jack

As I slowly make my way through the Jack in the Box menu I often run across things like the Bacon Swiss Buttery Jack. Why have I never eaten one?

Is it the brioche bread bun giving it more flavor? No. could it be that the hickory smoked bacon is undetectable? No, not really. I like Swiss cheese well enough and the butter sauce is appealing.

I’m guessing it's the Bacon Mayo which I have kept away from because I don’t like mayo. I didn’t notice it in this burger, and they may have forgotten it because the Jack in the Box I went to was shorthanded.

To be honest this was a solid hamburger with a good mix of flavors. I didn’t know what I was missing.

Friday, August 2, 2024

Kool-Aid Sour Gum Blue Raspberry

I still struggle to understand the idea of blue raspberry. Why is it blue? Have you ever thought about it? I mean, how is blue different from red or white? One day I may care enough to look further into it.

Anyway, Kool-Aid Sour Gum Blue Raspberry was so sour I closed my eyes as I chewed. This gave way fast and was over before I knew it but the gum wasn’t the worst I’ve had. That would go to the Kool-Aid Green Apple.

I will say that the flavor was fine in the middle even if extremely sour at the start. It didn’t last long. If you’re trying to get a taste out of your mouth this will work great. I don’t know if it would kill the smell of smoke, but I have to say the flavor was very strong at first.


 

Thursday, August 1, 2024

Yum Yum Donuts Sugared Twist

 At the end of an office party you would think the good doughnuts would all be gone. This was left at the end of an office party at my work and twists are the bigger better doughnuts.

I guess you could say that a Yum Yum Donut is a donut and not a doughnut which would make sense if you tried one. A doughnut should be good on its own, and I guess a donut must be a flavorless object that is only as good as what you top it with. 

This needed a hearty sugar coating in that case and it really didn’t have one. You bite into it and think ‘why would anyone eat this?’ It would have been okay with some coffee I guess but we didn’t have coffee at the party.

It was no surprise to be when I was tossing these out the next day.

Fail, fail, fail, fail, faaaaaail!