Brach's Mellowcreme Caramel Apple Halloween Candy

 Brach's Mellowcreme Caramel Apple Halloween Candy is a mix of red apple and green apple flavors in one bag. They are the texture of candy corn. I can't say these are great candy but they are good enough for your party candy bowls and ginger bread houses. Good job Brach's, nice candy.

Hershy's Kisses Milk Chocolate Monster

 

Hershy's Kisses Milk Chocolate Monsters will be showing up in the discount bin of your local store tomorrow, and I have to say that you can't go wrong with a classic. 

I ate one of these and remembered Christmas with my mother 31 years ago.  My mom died young, but these things bring back good memories.

Krispy Skreme Halloween Doughnuts 2021

 Krispy Skreme Halloween Doughnuts are a good deal better this year than last, and I say if you can get down there before they are gone you should try them. The pretzels they use to make them will be stale. 

However, the cat looking ones are the best of the lot, and they all taste fine. The witch's cauldron will give you green poop. 

Kellogg's Apple Jacks Spooky Marshmallows

 Kellogg's Apple Jacks Spooky Marshmallows are one more idea on how to ram sugar down your child's throat during the holiday season. In truth, these are not bad just bad for you, and they are no better than the normal flavor. As for me, well, I'm a big fat guy so I fed half of them to the birds. What, the birds can stand to gain a few pounds!

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Halloween Minis

 Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Halloween Minis are a holiday thing you can get that won't mean you have to eat two Krispy Kreme doughnuts in short order. By spreading them out you are less likely to get indigestion. 

I like these better than their big alternatives as they are simple and to the point. Doughnuts should not be complicated. 

Monster Reserve Watermelon

 Monster Reserve Watermelon is cherry red and has an almost watermelon flavor. If you're looking for something with that cool red look to keep the party going late at night then this is your jam. It could be more pink like water melon and could taste more like watermelon as well, but it will get the job done.

Airheads White Mystery Flavor

 Airheads White Mystery Flavor tend to be fruity, because I think it's whatever they have sitting around. They are a good way to be sure that your mouth doesn't change color from anything but rotting teeth. Good as just about any other Airhead taffy I think you can get close to them by just eating normal Airheads in the dark.

Krispy Kreme Enchanted Cauldron Halloween Doughnut

Krispy Kreme's Enchanted Cauldron Halloween Doughnut is a chocolate cake doughnut with enough green stuff on it to change the color of your poop. Tasted great but too much sugar for me. Also, the pretzel was stale.
 

Airheads Blue Raspberry Taffy

 Airheads Blue Raspberry Taffy tastes like, well, blue raspberry. Who knew?

Krispy Kreme Mini Pumpkin Doughnuts

Krispy Kreme Mini Pumpkin Doughnuts are included in the mini Halloween pack. These are simple and fun like things should be on Halloween. Let that be a lesson to you, don't over think things!
 

Krispy Kreme Bewitched Broomstick Halloween Doughnut

 Krispy Kreme Bewitched Broomstick Halloween Doughnut is a cream filled doughnut with a stale pretzel on top. It's a fun idea for sure but if you eat two of them you get so much sugar that you feel like passing out. They could have made this less 3D and just as much fun, but they just had to have something that only works if the doughnut is super fresh.

Airheads Orange Taffy

 So, I sure somewhere they do make orange jerky now. If they do I'm sure it tastes a bit like Airheads Orange Taffy. The concentrated orange flavor gives me nightmares of people named Donald. Out of all the airheads I think this tastes the most natural.

Krispy Kreme Mini Spooky Drizzle Doughnuts

 Krispy Kreme Mini Spooky Drizzle Doughnuts are just a small doughnut with a lot of frosting. There is nothing wrong with that. Where it not for the fact that right now I can't look at a doughnut without feeling sick I would be eating the last of these right now.

Airheads Cherry Taffy

 Airheads Cherry Taffy taste like what the industrial world has told us cherry tastes like. There is a dirty joke in there somewhere. Anyway, I've had real cherry and this doesn't taste a thing like it. I mean, it's not bad, but not cherry.

Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Spice Frozen Latte

 Krispy Kreme Pumpkin Spice Frozen Latte is another thing you shouldn't put in your body. You pump yourself up with this and start to lose the ability to taste pumpkin spice by the end of the season. I miss just eating pumpkin pie.

Airheads Grape Taffy

Looking like purple dinosaur jerky Airheads Grape Taffy is a grapeish nightmare that tastes like grape chewing gum. The flavor is thick and rich. I'm not a fan of these, but I got a box of mixed Airheads to give to orphans in Mexico. I'm fat, I shouldn't eat these but those kids are starving. 

Krispy Kreme Chocolate Iced with Halloween Sprinkles Doughnut

Krispy Kreme Chocolate Iced with Halloween Sprinkles Doughnut is a simple idea that gets people in the right mood to party for Halloween. The party will slowly kill you and drain your bank account making it one of the most diabolical horror stories of all time. 
 

Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Pumpkin Oat Beverage

 Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Pumpkin Oat Beverage is a good way to add a little pumpkin spice to your life. You already have pumpkin spice in your life I'm sure, but the smell of pumpkin spice is not about to make you vomit yet so this stuff is here to bring you just a little closer to the edge. 

This isn't bad or good but is a mild thing to put in your coffee. You'll need a lot of it to make that coffee pumpkin spice, but I'm sure this will make your bland corn flakes more holiday themed.

Disney 50th Anniversary Hei Hei McDonald's Happy Meal Toy

 Why you would want to give a rooster ecstasy I don't know, but here is Hei Hei the Disney 50th Anniversary McDonald's Happy Meal Toy. Then again, the more you think about Disney movies the worse they get. I haven't seen whatever movie this is from, but if I killed at ate this pile of stupid I figure it would give me bad dreams. then again, thing is a toy so it would give me toy poops. 

At least the chickens aren't as smart as the ducks. You watch Disney and you should become a vegetarian because all animals talk. Then again, I guess some of the plants do as well.

Krispy Kreme Spooky Sprinkle Doughnuts

 Krispy Kreme Spooky Sprinkle Doughnuts are part of the 2021 Halloween collection. There isn't much to this other than that it is a doughnut with sprinkles, but what more do you really want? This is a classic doughnut that fits the season.

Krispy Kreme Mini Original Glazed Doughnuts

 Four Krispy Kreme Mini Original Glazed Doughnuts came in my Halloween mini doughnuts and I have to say these are okay. I'm not that biggest fan of Krispy Kreme to start with so these don't tickle me. 

However, they are simple and to the point doughnuts, that I wish had not been included because I wanted Halloween stuff not normal stuff.  Ah well, okay doughnut. I like them with coffee.

Brach's Minions Bello Candy Corn

 Candy Corn should be candy corn but Brach's Minions Bello Candy Corn is vanilla, blue raspberry, and banana flavored. Yeah, mostly you taste the Banana. Some people love candy corn and some hate it, but this has the mouthfeel of candy corn and the flavor of other things. If that's your bag then go right ahead. If that isn't your bag then you will not like these.

Monster Hydro Purple Passion

 Monster Hydro Purple Passion tastes like watered down grape Kool-Aid. That's not a bad thing. I think this stuff is fine. Not really good for keeping me up but good for drinking when you are thirsty. It would also be a handy thing to have when you're dealing with a hangover ... which I know you will be dealing with soon.

The Shell House Spiked Pumpkin Seltzer

 

The Shell House Spiked Pumpkin Seltzer tastes like crap. I'll grant you that I don't think much of hard seltzer because I feel it tends to be made with low quality alcohol.

This is no exception. It tastes like it was made in some dude's backyard and tastes like backyard for that matter. 

Keep clear of this crap.

Krispy Kreme Abra Cat Dabra Halloween Doughnut

 Somewhere there is a dirty joke about these Krispy Kreme Abra Cat Dabra Halloween Doughnuts, and you know that one guy at the office who will make that joke, and everyone will feel weird about it.  

This is an interesting doughnut with a distinct mouth feel. It's not as rich as the others in this years Halloween lineup. I don't know why I keep buying these overpriced fat makers, but these are okay. I would eat one or two of these again.  

CheezIt Original Crackers

CheezIt Original Crackers may show up at that holiday party you really shouldn't have because of the pandemic but you may well need to keep your head together. 

Well, cheese gives you  crazy dreams so eat these, the pizza, and whatever else you can find that has cheese in it and have the best pandemic dreams of your life.  

I love these things. I've eaten them on many a long lonely shift as a fat security guard.
 

Disney 50th Anniversary Dante McDonald's Happy Meal Toy

 I never saw Coco so what it has to do with a coked out dog I can't tell you but this Disney 50th Anniversary Dante McDonald's Happy Meal Toy looks like something I would expect to start telling me about an evil legend. Look at those bugged out eyes. Dude, this thing is terrifying.

Airheads Watermelon Taffy

 No watermelons were harmed in the making of this Airheads Watermelon Taffy and I was surprised they went with green. The part of the watermelon you eat is not green. Anyway, society says this is what watermelon candy should taste like so if you get this in your treat bag this year you know what you're getting.

Mtn Dew VooDew 2021 Soda

 Mountain Dew VooDew is a mystery flavored beverage with a ghostly white appearance. Can after can, all I can say is that this is mildly fruity with a bit of a cotton candy (sugar) taste to it. To be honest I like it, but I can't figure out what it is.  

Jack in the Box Cluck Sandwich

 I believe the English lost the chicken sandwich wars, because they ran out of chicken. Jack in the box is said to have a new sandwich soon and here I am having not tried this one.  So they show one of these with dripping pink ooze coming off it, but in reality the Cluck Sandwich is a chicken paddy with little sauce and a few pickles. Simple, to the point, and not enough of anything to make you upset. I also felt this was a good size.

There is little interesting about the Cluck Sandwich. I'm not disappointed. I think this thing was great. It's no hot honey, but it is good enough to order again.

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pumpkin Spice Bagels

 I think they bagged the wrong lot with these Trader Joe's Gluten Free Pumpkin Spice Bagels because I taste no spice. These are bland and harder to cut than a normal bagel and are otherwise unremarkable. 

This is something you eat to get into the spirit of things but it's kind of given up the ghost.

Trader Joe's Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Cream Liqueur

 Trader Joe's Limited Edition Pumpkin Spice Cream Liqueur is on post for this years Halloween festivities and it's a great price for what it is. I will say that this is thinner than most cream liqueurs, and I would have liked more spice, but I almost always say that. Still this is a fine beverage.

If cream liqueur is your thing you should keep a healthy supply of this before it's off the shelves. I am so trying this over ice cream.

McDonald's Walt Disney World 50th Anniversary Celebration Daisy Happy Meal Toy

 McDonald's Walt Disney World 50th Anniversary Celebration Daisy Happy Meal toy is another thing you can get a McDonald's now days. I mean, yeah, if you like Daisy this is a nice toy. If you just like ducks this is a terrifying abomination of nature and you will want to burn it

Soylent Strawberry

 

Soylent doesn't make a green and there is no hint of people in their product. I know, I was disappointed too. What they do make is Strawberry flavored whatever this is and it's not bad at all. I love to keep a bottle of this in my work bag for when I get hungry. Keeps me going on those hard shifts.

Rally's Funnel Cake Fries

 Rally's Funnel Cake Fries are soft warm and covered in powdered sugar. This was my first time trying these things and I have to say I loved them. I would totally get them again but I'm a big fat dude and shouldn't eat them.

Rally's Chicken Bites & Fries Box

 Rally's Chicken Bites & Fries Box are another kind of popcorn chicken. They are okay. I can't say they're great, but they do the job. Best had with dipping sauce these are best had fresh.

I love chicken finger food, and I would get these again, but I'm a big fat dude and shouldn't eat them. 

Carl's Jr. Robot Chicken Toy

 Carl's Jr. had toys and one of them is this Robot Chicken from Adult Swim. The thing about this is that Robot Chicken is not a toy meant for children and the show is also not meant for children so this ugly cybernetic foul is not going to tickle a kids fancy. 

If you let your child watch Robot Chicken you should be arrested for child abuse because that program is super violent and there is too much animal abuse.  

Otherwise, cool toy.

McDonald's Crispy Chicken Sandwich

 McDonald's Crispy Chicken Sandwich is a simple thing to order. A chicken patty with pickles on a bun. 

I like simple things, and I think this was a good sandwich. If you're the kind of fellow who only eats what they can understand this is right for you. As far as it's shot in the chicken sandwich war, well, call this unremarkable.

Mountain Dew Thrashed Apple

 Mountain Dew Thrashed Apple is like drinking a Granny Smith. It's a tart crisp flavor that looks really cool. This odd flavor gets points for being different from other sodas and should be at very least on your try list. 

Would I buy it again? I don't even remember if I have reviewed normal Mountain Dew so not really, but I'm happy to have had it.

Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale

 Howling Gourds Pumpkin Ale is a pumpkin spiced meh that has bitter notes and a strong aftertaste. This is a sipping cold weather beer that may keep people from getting too drunk at your party. It will not deter the determined drinker.

On a hot day I would drink this, on a cold day I would not. I'd rather have a good old glass of water but that won't get you drunk.

Miguel Disney 50th Anniversary McDonald's Happy Meal Toy

 

Miguel's Disney 50th Anniversary McDonald's Happy Meal Toy means nothing to me because I never saw Coco, and I don't really keep up with mouse house films. I mean, he looks happy, and I hope he represents his minority in a respectful manner.

Still, I can't express just how little I care about this character. Then again, once I'm done with this toy it will be shipped off to an orphanage in Mexico so the children will love it.  

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Biscotti

 Trader Joe's Pumpkin Biscotti is a pumpkin spiced thing to dip in your coffee. I have to admit they could have more pumpkin spice, but if you're okay with mild flavor then these are fine for you. Me, I like them, but I've had better biscotti.

Popeyes Chicken Nuggets

 Popeyes Chicken Nuggets are a result of the chicken sandwich war. I kind if have mixed feelings about them. Then, they came to me cold, and I think they are better when fresh. 

These are made with chicken, not the chicken putty that other nuggets are made of, and so are more like popcorn chicken than nuggets.

I like these and will get them again but, well, they didn't have the same impact that McDonald's has on me. Then again, I shouldn't be eating so much fast food.  

Classico Shells & Italian Sausage

 Classico Shells & Italian Sausage is more like shells and cheese. This is a bland interpretation of Italian food, but it is passable. I would not get this again unless I needed frozen food to stock up for something. Your best bet is to buy bulk sausage and then cook and add it to this mess to make it better. 

If you're going to do that you could just make this from scratch and it would taste a whole lot better. 

Taco Bell Cherry Twilight Freeze

 Taco Bell's Cherry Twilight Freeze tastes like blue raspberry. I find these to be on the small side and not that great of a drink. Then again I had one at night when it was cool and I think these are only good when it is hot.

Crush Grapefruit Soda

 Crush Grapefruit Soda has a very summer flavor so I should have reviewed it before now. I have to say I like this, stuff and it's a fun change from normal sodas. 

It is not very tart as one would expect but still very grapefruit. It is not as good for you as real grapefruit but what is? Being a fat man like me I should eat real grapefruit a lot more than I drink soda.

McDonald's Happy Meal Toy Celebration Donald Duck

 There is no psychotic duck with an anger management problem and a speech impediment like Donald Duck. I mean, I would say Trump has an anger management problem, but he's not a duck. So, if you want to have this duck stuck in a box with food that you shouldn't be eating now is the time at your local McDonald's. 

Yes, now McDonald's Happy Meal Toy Celebration Donald Duck can be yours. You have been able to get yourself a Donald Duck for a good many years now, but that one didn't smell like french fries.

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

 If you're a fat hippy who likes goobers then Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds are right for you. I have to say that they could use more spice to go with that pumpkin but in a world where pumpkin spice is everywhere I guess it can be mild. 

These things are fine, but if you didn't know they were pumpkin spice then you would never guess from the flavor. 

Pepsi-Cola Soda Shop Cream Soda Cola

 The unholy combination of flavors that is Pepsi-Cola Soda Shop Cream Soda Cola is a real sugar soda that brings you back to the 50's when food was really starting to suck. The post World War II chemical fertilizers made vegetables bland, and food was coming more and more from a laboratory than a farm.

If you want a cream cola I would say you should get some cream and some cola and put them together like they did in the old days. this stuff is for the birds with it's lab grown taste. 

You should also remember that in the 50's soda was thought of as a dessert and not consumed as often or in the quantities that we consume it in today.  

Then again, you can't trust the water so how much worse for you can soda be?

Canada Dry Blackberry Ginger Ale

 Canada Dry is for sick people and drinking. Their Blackberry Ginger Ale is a sipping tart flavor that is best fit for the cooler weather. I will also point out that you need a lot of ice or to have chilled this to make it cold. I'm sipping one right now and every deep drink brings up the warmer liquid. 

This has a flavor that can drowned out the cheap booze but that is not a reason to drink cheap booze.