Farm Rich Flame Broiled Homestyle Meatballs

I'd like to see what home the maker of Farm Rich Flame Broiled Homestyle Meatballs because these are funny tasting for home style and have the texture of chicken McNuggets. Are they bad, no, they are passable, but not good. The meat is to, um, not meat like for that. 

These are meatballs for poor people and so you should be happy to have food if you're eating them. Otherwise, pay more for better meatballs, don't just put anything in your mouth.
 

S.Pellegrino Essenza Dark Morello Cherry & Pomegranate

  S.Pellegrino Essenza Dark Morello Cherry & Pomegranate is an okay beverage. I got a case of these and nearly drank them all from thirst before reviewing them. 

I have to say these are a bit posh for me, but I have to admit I would buy them again. They are very good cold, not that great at room temperature, and I got them on sale.

Late July Snacks Sea Salt Organic Potato Chips

Late July Snacks Sea Salt Organic Potato Chips are the kind of thing you would have liked to have at your party in early July. They aren't as good as Lay's but they are much less greasy. This is a solid potato chip and they are organic. I can't say they wow me but they are what they say on the bag and that's just fine.
 

Nestle Splash Lemon

 Nestle Splash Lemon is water with artificial sweetener. I can't stand this stuff for that reason but I have a coworker who's eyes light up when I bring him this stuff. I got three pack and I don't like them so I won't drink them. Artificial sweeteners give me the runs. 

Anyway, if you like diet soda and water then this really is your bag. It's not for me but I'm not the world. 

Jurassic Park Barbasol Can

They always say 'you can't have your cake and eat it too'. I never understood why anyone would want to keep a cake around, and I always thought that having cake and eating cake were the same, but have in this case means to keep around.

Well, this Jurassic Park Barbasol can featuring fake rust and a logo is something you can buy, use, and then leave in your collection for years to come. Barbasol is a solid brand and it's good shaving cream.

The can looks cool I guess. I have to be honest Jurassic World: Dominion, where the can was featured, didn't impress me. I know this is a throwback to the first movie but who cares that they still have the can that was used to smuggle dino embryos?

Anyway, for something under three dollars this is a think. If you want it get it and if not don't.
 

The Meatless Farm Co. Meat Free Burgers

 The Meatless Farm Co. Meat Free Burgers are a meat alternative that will stand up so long as the real meat isn't put up beside it. It tastes kind of meaty. It is not as good or meaty as real meat, but it is a close proximity to summer camp meat. 

These will be better the more you had flavors to them like onion and ketchup. They will never replace meat but what will?

Annie's Organic Cheesy Ravioli

Annie's Organic Cheesy Ravioli is about as good or bad an any other canned ravioli I've had. I find the sauce to be runny and good for dipping with a sweet flavor that stands out. It's too bad the ravioli they put it on is so normal. 

All in all, this is about as good as anything else I have had but looks to be a bit more expensive. As a side to a grilled cheese sandwich this is one good dipper. On its own it's just okay.
 

New Wave Apple Soda

 Drinking a New Wave Apple Soda is like biting into a Granny Smith apple. Not a sweet one, kind of an older one really, but it has a bite that wakes you up. 

Again, I can't say I like this stuff, but I can say that it will get you're brain back on alert status after a few shots.  

This is a vary odd soda, but you almost need to try one to understand them. 

Signature Cafe Four Cheese Calzone

 The 'Signature Cafe Four Cheese Calzone' is a blob of cheese wrapped in bread. Now, coming from a fat dude like me you must understand that sounds like a great idea. On the other hand it gets cheese oil all over the place and should be handled with care. 

This is very American in that it's kind of bland and could be better. However, being a fat dude like me I'm sure at some point I will eat more of these. I won't be able to resist them. 

Even now I can hear them calling me like a college freshman at her sorority house. "Eat me, Richard. Eat me!"

Signature Select Dr. Dynamite Soda

 Signature Select Dr. Dynamite Soda is a store brand Dr. Pepper. yeah, it would like to be a pepper too, but it really doesn't pep me up all that much. Flavor wise it is a reasonable facsimile to the original. 

If you had this at a party after drink number two you wouldn't know it wasn't the real deal. I got a lot of this stuff a few months back, but now I'm gunning for good old coffee. 

Truth is, coffee works better without all the sugar and it keeps me up. This stuff helps but isn't that strong.

Abe's Vegan Lemon Poppy Muffins

Abe's Vegan Lemon Poppy Muffins are not made with real vegans. I know, I was disappointed too. They taste okay, which is a good thing for vegan food. I have to admit I would not think too much about these muffins and if that means they are better for me or the world then other muffins then that's a good thing.
 

Melba's Fixins Lemon Meringue Pie Soda

 Melba's Fixins Lemon Meringue Pie Soda is one of the better entries in the Melba's Fixins lineup. It has the most natural flavor of all the fixins I have tried. I have to admit that were it not for the price I would buy more of this stuff. 

To be honest, what you tend to pay for here is novelty. It's not the greatest soda on earth, and it's not bad either. It's just something to give your party a little more kick. 

Or this could just be expensive to make. I don't know, it's expensive to buy.

Doritos Cool Ranch

Doritos Cool Ranch are better with a monster that is the love spawn of a goblin and a corpse flower. I mean you look at that mouth flower genitals thing and thing "man these are good chips".

Sarcasm aside, Cool Ranch have never been as good at the nacho flavor and they never will be. They are just a sad little brother to the big boy that is Doritos. 

That said, I still can't stop eating them.  

 

Signature Cafe Buffalo Style Chicken Calzone

 The Signature Cafe Buffalo Style Chicken Calzone is a heat and eat item that may show up in the fresh deli section of you're local grocery. It's not very buffalo. 

Then again, the buffalo sauce that comes to my mind is the stuff that we used to take shots of back in high school to show how tough we were. It's funny how many of us had to use the restroom after doing that. It's also funny how many of us were home from school the next day after doing that. Stuff would have it's revenge.  

So this tastes kind of like that but without the kick that came with it. If you like the flavor without the heat then these are your bag. they are best out of the oven. 

To be honest, I will buy these again, or at least other's of the same brand. 

Greenfield Natural Meat Co. Uncured Smoked Pork Hot Dogs

There is a good deal to be said for humanely raised meat. Mostly, that it is less likely to get you sick or spawn new illnesses that cripple the world. In the case of Greenfield Natural Meat Co. Uncured Smoked Pork Hot Dogs flavor is not one of its attributes. In fact, I would have to say these are best off the grill not boiled in water.

The idea of my dinner being vegan has some appeal to me, but this meat was raised on a vegan diet. This raises the question, if I don't eat vegan is it okay to eat a vegan? I think vegans would be just as apposed to me eating these things as any other meat. 

Then again, what do you really expect out of hot dogs? I would add chili do these if you want good food but they are just hot dogs in the end.
 

Late July Organic Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips

 Late July Organic Sea Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips aren't has strong as most vinegar potato chips I have had. Normally, I put my chips in a sandwich because that vinegar needs something to round it out. These Chips can be eaten right out of the bag.

If you're a fan of the strong taste of vinegar then these chips are not for you. If you like your chips without the grimace then these are a buy. 

Twisted Watermelon Punch

Twisted Watermelon Punch is one more way to get sugar water into your body so you get so fat you need medication to stay alive. I love watermelon and this really doesn't taste like it at all. It was that funny flavor which I can only describe as 'green'.

I don't like things that taste that way and given that this is pink it really stands out as being green. 

I would give this stuff a pass unless you want to look like me and I'm a man blob.

 

Limitless Refresh Lightly Caffeinated Grapefruit Hibiscus Sparkling Water

Limitless Refresh Grapefruit Hibiscus Sparkling Water is a Lightly Caffeinated beverage. I have to admit that I find this refreshing, but I don't find it caffeinating. Drinking this did not keep me awake. There isn't enough caffeine in there to keep you going in the late night hours. 

If your thing is to drink coffee then brush your teeth, and you need to keep up that caffeine high this may be for you. The clear water will not stain your teeth. However, it will not keep you up at night unless you don't drink much caffeine. 
 

Pure Soda Seville Orange

Pure Soda Seville Orange is a hippy soda that works. I have to admit that its very refreshing if not as sweet as normal soda. Hippy soda normally tastes like bug juice so it's an improvement over a lot of sodas I have tasted. 

Where as I can't say this is going to wow you it's a fine alternative to more calorie heavy sodas that are out there and it will work fine for those who like dry alcohol. For those who like it sweet just add a sweet alcohol and you will have a beverage that really sings.
 

Kanan Baking Brioche Buns

 Brioche refers to the butter and egg content that is in the bread to give it a texture. Kanan Baking Brioche Buns are really nice looking.

I do have to say that these are a nicer bun than I normally put my burgers on, but then they are only as good as how you grill them to give them that crunch.  

Food is so common and simple that I can get buns that taste like the same buns no matter where I go. These are just a little different and that is in a good way. 

I do recommend these, not highly, but I recommend them. 

RX Nut Butter Peanut Butter

 RX Nut Butter Peanut Butter made lumpy by the adding of stuff like eggs. Flavor wise it just tastes like peanut butter and it could be better for you than the normal stuff. Just remember that at the end of the day it will still be just peanut butter with stuff in it. 

Honey Kiss Melon

 

Honey Kiss Melon or sugar kiss melon as it is sometimes called is mostly a funny shaped cantaloupe. I'm sure if your into melons you can pick out every thing that is different about this melon, but the truth is that you can get more cottage cheese in that thing.

How do I feel about these melons? I love them. Wish I had a family to share them with.  

Also, I wouldn't mind a girl saying "kiss melon" to me every now and then.

Melba's Fixins Cherries & Cream Soda

 Melba's Fixins Cherries & Cream Soda is a novelty soda that should taste like pie. It tastes okay but it's a cream soda with a cherry after taste. I wouldn't call it thirst quenching, and I wouldn't say it's worth the price. 

This is the kind of thing you buy for folks who really like cherry pie, and then you have a laugh about it.

Signature Cafe Philly Style Steak & Cheese Calzone

 Signature Cafe Philly Style Steak & Cheese Calzone is not Philly style I know what a Philly style should look like and this isn't it. It does have some onions and a few peppers, but you can hardly taste them. 

Truth is that it could stand to have some more flavor in general . I mean, some pepper would have been nice. I would have found a real Philly style Calzone inedible but some people like onions.

I wouldn't get this again.

Celentano Manicotti

 Celentano Manicotti is the kind of pasta for one that will really get you going to take a nap. Then you will have very odd dreams. I have to say this stuff is bland. I would have liked some more flavor, but it was agreeable. 

This is the kind of thing that you eat when you dine alone and I kick myself for dining alone at my age. However, I would get more of these were it not for the fact that they no longer have them at the store. 

Good stuff, really.

Dragon Energy Blue

When you're dragon ass and you need a lift you may reach for this 'Dragon Energy Blue'. It's kind of blueberry flavored which is a silly thing to say as blueberries don't have much flavor to them. 

That said, this fizzy blue stuff doesn't have all that much of a taste and no one would would drink it for that anyway. 

To be honest, the reason I got this was the price which was a lot less than Monster. Made me feel more like a nap with a dragon and less like a monster had its way with my wallet. 

It worked okay.

Garden Veggie Straws Stars & Stripes Sea Salt

 Garden Veggie Straws Stars & Stripes Sea Salt are a patriotic way to get fat on the holiday. These are no different than the normal Veggie Straws save for the purple ones replacing the green. They are a fine snack, but if you want to do right by America eat an apple or something else healthy and set a good example.

Krispy Kreme 4th of July Dozen

 The Krispy Kreme 4th of July Dozen is a way to make doughnuts part of a holiday that was a little less fattening than the normal holidays. This could be fun for an office party or a small gathering but they just don't match a good old hamburger. That and they make a bit of a mess. Eat accordingly.

Krispy Kreme Patriot Eagle Doughnut

 

Krispy Kreme Patriot Eagle Doughnut is a cream filled something that, well, doughnuts. I will say that there is little more American than being fat, and these will get you there. Not a bad doughnut but nothing to be missed when it's gone.

Krispy Kreme Strawberry Shortcake 4th of July Doughnuts

 I would say that of all four 4th of July doughnuts from Krispy Kreme this is the most interesting. They taste like there is some real strawberry in there, and that poof on top sports some shortbread cookie. The gold stars make it patriotic.

I have to admit this will never replace a classic old fashioned, but as doughnuts go this is not bad.