I ran into these Sunnvalley Hickory Smoked Turkey Drumsticks and thought 'what a perfect thing for a lonely jerk like me. I don't want a whole turkey,' and got three of them. Then I had a vodka and when to bed.
The next day I popped one of these in the oven for an hour and it wasn't ready. Then I cooked it for another half hour and it was okay. It could have used more cooking time and to be placed in a crockery.
It's best to have these with a meat thermometer around so you can see if they're done.
Anyway, this was on the tough side because I didn't cook it well enough, and it smelled so good my cats came to investigate. It got grease all over my shirt and tasted more like ham than turkey.
It was almost exactly like having a Thanksgiving dinner without the arguments and awkward moments. Total win.
With Christmas approaching you may be tempted to buy one of these Friedel Advent Calendars. I am pleased to say that the chocolate in these Calendars is so bad that you can only eat one a day.
If you are foolish enough to like these you can get them two for a dollar after the holiday. On the other hand, I think these are a great way to fake out your kids into thinking chocolate sucks.
Tillamook tells you it's a classy but down home ice cream. You can really see that with it's Jam-Packed Sugar Cookies which could really use more cookie. They only had one of these left at the market so I had to pick it up and try it and I'm glad I did, because it's a flavor that makes me want to smile.
I don't like fruity ice cream but this stuff is good. Not too rich, but very satisfying.
Samuel Adams Pale Ale is a thick headed ale with overpowering floral notes. The bitter flavor is best for winter drinking as this is just not a beer you take deep swigs of. Now I'm starting to see why I found it in a hotel hallway.
If you are expecting 'Don Miguel's The Bomb Breakfast Burrito' to contribute to fear and loathing on your toilet you're going to be disappointed. In truth, the thing is on the mild side for what it is and will not make a good hangover cure.
Now, you have one of these with a V8 or a Bloody Mary, I think it would fix you right up.
Other attributes are that they cook up in five minutes and won't fall apart on you. All in all, these are find if you don't have time to cook.
Few things pair with vodka as well as Dad's blue Cream Soda. I got mine in the 'Big Daddy Size' so that I can rock that spare tire like a boss. This soda gives you a cool and distinctive look for your after dinner drink. Where as it has no caffeine to keep the party going it does have a flavor that will help wined things down so that guests puke in the can rather than on your carpet.
Now that's classic. Taking Taco Bell home to tell the world you love weed so much that you think Taco Bell is good food. These chips are thick salty and otherwise there so you can scoop stuff up with them. Are they good? No, and unless you find them on sale they really aren't worth getting.
Afri Cola showed up for a dollar for two bottles at the local oddity shop and I figured I'd try some. This is the kind of soda that you buy if you want to relax with a whisky and cola. The lemon flavor elements just make me want to take a moment and love life a little more.
I wish I had a nice bottle of Wild Turkey 101 to go along with this stuff.
There is nothing pale about this Bass Pale Ale, but it's a heavy thick beer for sipping in the colder months or just shooting the breeze with a friend. This isn't the kind of beer you swig because of the bitterness that comes along with it.
I drink this stuff and feel like swapping sad stories with old men and having a ham sandwich at the pub. Good times.
Green Mountain sounds so cool and yet what they make is this crap. This is unsweetened coffee that is supposed to taste like Cinnamon Sugar Cookies. It really tastes like a whole lot of nothing. The coffee beans used for this brew are on the limp side so if you're looking to get through the day you'll need to drink the whole box.
Blaaaah, I'm going to go have a Monster.
Oprah loves bread. She loves bread so much that her pizza has way too much crust meaning that you have stuff that smells like pizza but sits on the plate until you dump it into your compost heap. Thick crust is only a good thing on real pizza.
Hostess Cream Cheese Danish would be the perfect food for keeping weight on people with wasting disorder. To say this food is boring is an insult to boring, and you'd need to be hungry or board yourself to eat this stuff.
It is, however, full of fat and such and all the artificial ingredients will make you body last longer after you expire. Why did I buy these?
Campbell's Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder is sure on the watery side of things. I'm not sure what corn chowder is supposed to taste like but I figured it would be thicker. It does have chunks in it, not a great number, but they are there.
This thing is an okay snack for lunch. Not great but definitely there.
Grove Square, you have no idea what Caramel Cappuccino tastes like. Does this taste like cappuccino? Yeah, I guess. It's not like super killer but it's okay. I mean, if you want to have an 80 calorie cup of so so this is your bag. Tastes nothing like caramel. Frankly, getting a mouthful of my cat Caramel's fur tastes about the same.
With a taste of Cauliflower boasts the box of my 'Oprah O That's Good! Five Cheese Pizza' and I will say there is enough of that stuff to give you old stinky vegetable burps for hours. It does nothing to make the pizza better.
There is a lot of crust to this pizza so if eating bread is your goal you will win but I'd rather eat pizza. Over all, I can't say that it's bad only that it is not good.
Little Beijing Kung Pao Chicken was the only thing they had when I got there a half hour after the place opened. Well, they had two things I had reviewed, but this was the one thing I had not tried.
In any case, it's got more vegetables than other dishes in this American Chinese restaurant. It tastes okay, but you don't get much of it compared to other offerings. If you're sensitive to spice have it with a drink.
Xpress Energy Drink Original is the right amount of useful and foul to make it a number one stalk for my cabinet. It was one sale and after I tried on I went back to the store and got every last one they had. These things taste okay, not great, but they are passable. You can get them down but you never sit there and think "What would be great right now would be an Xpress" and that means you don't drink to many.
This hot mess is what 'Two Guys from Italy' would call take out lasagna. Grandma Teresa would brake my fingers for calling this bland slop Lasagna, but to be fair she is from Sicily. Tastes like nothing and tomatoes.
Burger King Oreo Cookie Cheesecake is an Oreo Cookie Cheesecake! I mean, what more do you really need to know?
The vending machine guy at my work gave me two bottles of diet Mtn Dew or I would never have gotten this stuff. Diet soft drinks are things you drink when you admit to yourself that you have no self control and your fat. I mean, there is this stuff that is zero calories, has no ill health impact, and tastes okay. It's called water and I drink it every day. Water does not make me feel sick like diet soda.
In any case, this is not as bad as most diets I've had. Once you get the vodka in their it's down right tolerable.
I ordered a chocolate Oreo Shake. I don't think that's what I got. Fail Burger King. It didn't taste like vanilla. It tasted like milk and sugar. Fail, fail, fail, fail, faaaaail!
Acai must be a thing but I have little understanding why. This Costco Nonfat Vanilla Yogurt & Acai Swirl is also a thing, but it's not that great. May be I should have had it on a hotter day but it just didn't tickle my fancy. May be it was whatever nightmare of science they use to make this nonfat.
McDonald's Big Breakfast with Hotcakes is what happens if mediocrity becomes food. I mean, it tastes like just about nothing which is really bad for 1300 Calories.
This is again, not to say that it was bad. It just was, and there is nothing further to point out. Cutting one strip of bacon in two to make it look like you have two strips of bacon is a low blow.
Not to mention those eggs. They look cut from a bigger sheet of eggs. It's just so assembly line that it almost put me to sleep.
The Chocolate Chip Frappe at McDonald's is a fail. The topping is sweeter than the drink making it taste bland. You can feel the ice bits in your mouth, and the chocolate just sinks to the bottom. Waist of good chocolate chips if you ask me.
Texas Tamale Company Beef Tamales are as good as Tamales can be without the essential lard. These things are best for me after getting cooked to death in the microwave which makes them solid enough to handle. Steaming or light cooking will leave these easy to brake when you try to eat them.
All and all, I like um'
Not kidding at all I found a half full case of Sam Adams and an open bottle of tequila by a trash can at work and it had a whole three of these things in it. Well, this is a really beery beer with a strong beer flavor. This is the kind of beer you can drink and it looks the same coming out as it did when it came in.
My thing to do with this stuff is add pink lemonade which makes it much better of a beer. This is the kind of beer you drink to get drunk and have sex with a fire hydrant and me having found it is the only way I'm ever drinking it.
The Sourdough King at Burger King is too much King for this sentence. Why don't they have a Sourdough Prince? I get why they don't have a Sourdough Queen, but shouldn't they have some kind of Queen. I mean, this King is just hanging out with his bros and no women. It feels like American politics.
In any case, this is okay. I wouldn't say it's gotten me back on the Burger King band wagon. The manager of the store was way more impressive than this burger when she started strutting around in those black jeans. Then the kitchen caught on fire, and it was hard for me to focus on the sandwich.
Hungry Howie's Bacon Cheddar Cheeseburger Pizza didn't remind me of a cheeseburger. Then again, who wants a cheeseburger when you can have a pizza?
In any case, it would have been better with less salt and more cheddar.
Hungry Howie's '3 Cheeser Howie Bread' is better than Howie Bread, and it only gives you indigestion after twenty minutes as apposed to right away.
To safely eat this stuff you need to pair it with a large number of vegetables or something else with potassium. Otherwise, you'll need to have a nap after eating...and you may never wake up.
Gose is a kind of Salty Malted wheat beer with lemon undertones. What the hell this stuff is I couldn't tell you but it's not Gose, I can't taste the raspberry and the lemon is an annoying after taste.
It's beer, I mean, has a thick head and is really beery. If you like beer this is for you.
