Blue Monkey Sparkling Passion Fruit Juice

 Blue Monkey Sparkling Passion Fruit Juice is wholly devoid of oddly colored monkey. Passion fruit does smell a bit, which is a little monkey like, but the monkey stops there. As popular as this drink is in the Blue Monkey lineup that monkey connection must be very important. 

In any case, this is what happens when fruit juice and soda have a kitten. There is a lot more work if they have a baby and you will do a lot more cleaning up poop. If you have a kitten and their mother there is no whiping involved. 

What I'm saying here, is that this is a good product. It will keep you healthy longer than soda. In the end it's still sugar water but sugar water with vitamins in it to keep you from getting sick.

Dr. Squatch Bar Soap Bay Rum

Dr. Squatch Bar Soap Bay Rum smells very good but is not as good a soap as their pine tar product and will not do as well to remove dead skin. The bar will last longer than some other Squatch products.

What it comes down to is do you want to smell good or get clean? This will make you smell good but is not the best cleaning soap that Squatch makes. It will work better than many bar soaps you buy.

At seven dollars a bar this is some expensive soap, and I will not stop buying my good old Irish Spring. That is mostly because I wash my self way too much for that and I would never bring Dr. Squatch to the gym.  

 This is a fine soap for the affluent, but too rich for my blood. 
 

Hu Grain-Free Peanut Butter Cookies

 Pushing the definition of cookies the Hu Peanut Butter things are a grain and sugar free option. Option to what I couldn't say, but I hope my squirrel likes them because I don't.

 I have no problem with the idea of a vegan or grain free cookie but a cookie should taste like a cookie and not like this crap. I know, that is hard to hear from a fat blob like me, but cookies should be cookies, and these are not cookies.

Quaker Instant Grits Red Eye Gravy & Country Ham

Quaker Instant Grits Red Eye Gravy & Country Ham is a product that comes with a lot of five star reviews but for me it was just very salty. I always thought of grits as a plain kind of food.

Maybe all that salt is why the pacts are so small. They would add flavor to a dull breakfast, but what you see here is three pacts in one cup. 

I guess this just isn't something I would eat. Never been a big fan of grits, and I've never had them this way before. I just can't recommend this product. 
 

Ocean Spray Fruit Medley Probiotic Blend

 Ocean Spray Fruit Medley Probiotic Blend is a mix of cranberries, blueberries, cherries, and grapes all dried and sweetened. It's not as strong as dried cranberries alone, but that is still the dominant flavor. 

Unlike most salad toppers this has a long shelf life and lasts long once the bag is open. I can't say I love the stuff, but in a world were I need to eat more salad I was so happy to find it at the store.  

I would not recommend adding in the pasta as I did and it's best an addition to garbanzo beans alone without the other beans which make the salad heavier.  

I will still say that the Ocean Spray was the highlight of this salad. 

ANB Japanese Grill Chicken & Beef Bowl

 If you find yourself in Whittier California not far from the historic Googie Car Wash you may run into ANB Japanese Grill and pick up one of their signature Chicken and Beef Bowls. This is a good amount of food for what you pay and will keep you full longer than a meal at a more American fast food restaurant. 

The meat was so packed in there that I had trouble eating it without spilling. As far as quality, it was good for fast food and they serve better options health-wise. 

I do have to admit that the place is small and there are only three tables that can fit two people each. There is no soda fountain so you'll be getting bottled if you want a drink but that is common at a Japanese restaurant.  

It is best to grab you food and go here, but it is good food. 

Guerrero Zero Net Carb Original Tortillas

 Guerrero Zero Net Carb Original Tortillas are low in flavor, but can be eaten without getting warmed up so that gives them an authentic feel. I grant that only a white person like me would make soft tacos like this but these are still good as tortillas go. 

I hate tortillas that crack when you try to eat them. I think these are a cut above most of the store tortillas. You should really try them. 

Mcdonald's Bacon Ranch Deluxe McCrispy

 Mcdonald's Bacon Ranch Deluxe McCrispy was a mess in a box. If it wasn't for the box I would have thought they had just dumped the parts in the bag and called it good. 

The idea isn't bad. I mean, for 660 Calories its an okay sandwich but the bacon kind of got lost and the ranch didn't really add much. 

Meh, golden arches just doesn't do it for me any more.

Applegate Organics Chicken & Apple Sausage

Applegate Organics Chicken & Apple Sausage is a precooked sausage that has a strong apple flavor compared to most apple sausage I've had. 

The strong flavor of apple isn't something I look for in a sausage but as sausage goes it works well. I'll grant that I wish this would heat a little more evenly but that's precooked sausage for you in general. 

Good product. Would recommend.
 

Girl Scout Cookies Adventurefuls

 Girl Scout Cookies are not a thing I like to see selling. To be honest, I feel sorry for the girls selling cookies, and I think they should be doing something fun. Adventurefuls is a relatively new cookie they sell, or so they tell me, and they are mostly chocolate. 

For the most part I can only taste the chocolate, but they are good cookies. Some say they are better if you heat them up. If what you wanted was Thin Mints without the the mint, or the false advertising, then these are your jam. 

Thin Mints? Should be Fat Mints. 

Sweet Earth Pesto Chik'n Lasagna

 Sweet Earth Pesto Chik'n Lasagna was an interesting thing to have pop up in my local market. Sweet Earth offers some plant based foods and this is one of them. There isn't much of the pho chicken but what is there is good enough. 

I'm not going to say this was killer lasagna but it wasn't bad as lasagna goes. I've had much worse. The pesto could have been stronger, which would have made this more authentic, but it gave me pesto breath for the rest of the day. 

All in all, I would buy this again.

Go Girl Energy Raspberry Lemonade

Go Girl Energy Raspberry Lemonade is one of those energy drinks that tastes okay. It should taste okay and not great because you don't want people drinking ten of these things and getting sick. I have to admit it got me up. Stuff works good and is keto friendly. 

The worst part of this stuff is the name that kind of puts me off. I mean, what would people say if they saw me drinking go girl? Hopefully they would say 'there is a man secure in his sexuality'. 

As I am secure in my sexuality I don't really mind the name so much. Go Girl is good stuff. 
 

JJ's Bakery Birthday Cake Pie

 JJ's Bakery Birthday Cake Pie is a thing. I don't know when birthday cake became a flavor but it did and the flavor is meh. I think the whole thing is kind off odd, but the pie is okay. 

I'll grant that this is a frosting pie more than it is anything else but I guess this is something that bothers no one. I mean, they're not bad but not all that good.

I would not buy this again but I don't dislike them all that much.

Market Pantry Macaroni & Cheese Dinner

 At fifty five cents a box I had to try this Market Pantry Macaroni & Cheese Dinner. I never new how well macaroni and cheese went with artichoke until now but scooping up the noodles with those leaves was the highlight of my night.  

Anyway, this is, well, normal. It's what one would expect from mac and cheese. I can't say it stood out, and I can't say I didn't like it. I would buy this again if it came back at the same price. 

Once again, let me say that I would almost never buy mac and cheese were it not for this blog, and so I'm not in love with this product in general. 

However, it was a great deal. 

Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa Mix Lucky Charms Marshmallows

 Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa Mix Lucky Charms Marshmallows is something of an odd bird as the marshmallows come in their own pack and you add them separately. This leads to marshmallow dust ruining the magical impact. 

I guess you get a lot of marshmallows and this is something fun for the kids to have as you get so drunk you can't stand off green beer. 

Putting things other than beer in your beer is not Irish!

Anyway, these are a thing that is fun. Have some fun. I will use these as creamer in my coffee.

Sheboygan Sausage Company Original Recipe Bratwurst

  Sheboygan Sausage Company Original Recipe Bratwurst reminds me of the sausage I used to get at restaurants when I was more of a breakfast person. These are thicker and need to cook longer.

I found these to be too salty for me, but that could be because I'm eating more vegetables. I think I'll cut these up to make something else, because I need to spread out that salt.

blue monkey Sparkling Mango Juice Drink

 blue monkey should spell their name with capitals but I guess that's no big deal. Their Sparkling Mango Juice Drink is the closest I have ever come to mango soda and given that it's fifty five percent juice I guess it's as good as it will get. 

It doesn't have the thickness I would associate with mango juice and is much lighter in flavor. All in all, this is some good stuff. I really think that if I liked mango more I would get more of this. 

I'm way too fat to be buying drinks anyway.

Maplehurst Bakery Sweet Potato Pie

 It's pie day and what better pie is there than Maplehurst Bakery Sweet Potato Pie? Well there is no better pie I've had from Maplehurst Bakery in any case. This pie is smooth and sweet with a crumbly crust. They are way better than their pumpkin pie so if you can find them eat them. 

Dickey's Barbecue Pit Brown Sugar Hickory Beans

 Dickey's Barbecue Pit Brown Sugar Hickory Beans have an after taste of heat and you can really taste the brown sugar. I have never seen these beans before but with a name like Dicky's you know they were too fun to pass along. 

These could have used more hickory but past that good beans.

Jelly Belly Cinnamon Jelly Beans

Jelly Belly Cinnamon Jelly Beans taste like Red Hots. They are something of a disappointment as far as Jelly Belly goes because Jelly Belly tends to put out some really great beans.  

I'm not saying I dislike them but rather that they taste too normal to be a real Jelly Belly bean. If I wanted Red Hots I would buy them. 
 

Mikey's Pockets Uncured Pepperoni Pizza

Mikey's Pockets Uncured Pepperoni Pizza are a really odd product because I think the meat is real and the cheese is vegan. I don't get it. Odd stuff. 

I think these are best cooked to a crisp but they are not as cheesy as one would hope. I wasn't a big fan of them and even tossed half of one on my back porch for the raccoons. Something ate it within a half hour so they thought it was good but they left the crust. 

Anyway, these just can't stand up to Hot Pockets, but if you need an egg, grain, and soy free option then this is what you have. 

You can eat these but they will not call to you at two in the morning like a Hot Pocket.
 

Nestle Coffee mate Glazed Donut Liquid Coffee Creamer

 Nestle Coffee mate Glazed Donut Liquid Coffee Creamer in no way reminds me of glazed doughnuts. I guess it's otherwise fine. Sweet for sure but hasn't much of a taste two it past sweetness. I'm not even the biggest fan of these kinds of flavors so I'm not sure what I was expecting. 

If you like your coffee sweet then this is fine if you can get it at the right price. For me, well, I wouldn't toss it out but I wouldn't really buy it again. 

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans A&W Cream Soda

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans A&W Cream Soda are some good jelly beans. I would even say they are better than the soda they taste like. I'm not the biggest fan of cream soda so I can't even be sure that this tastes like it all that much. Still these are some good jelly beans. 

Then again, I'm a big fat dude who shouldn't eat jelly beans, so what do I know?
 

Mariani Family Smoky Southwest Topper

  Mariani Family Smoky Southwest Topper is stuff to put on your salad. I think the cranberries are the strongest flavor and the green chili may just end up at the bottom of the bag. I had this with a spinach salad and I will admit it fit well and was good. 

They say you can put this on ice cream or eat it right out of the bag. I bet you can, but eating it with greens is the best way for you, and it's always hard to get your greens in. 

Worth trying for a fat person like me.

Don Victor Pure Honey with Comb

 I have never understood why we still have so much interest in bee vomit. It is said to have some healing qualities but if this is true I have never seen them. 

Don Victor Pure Honey with Comb has some of the house that the bees that vomited this up lived in before we took their honey. I don't get that part either. 

Anyway, tastes like honey. Not bad at all, really. If honey were a thing that I go around buying I guess I would buy this again. That doesn't change the fact that it is bee vomit, but everyone else is okay with eating this barf. 

Portofino Solid Yellowfin Tuna in Extra Virgin Olive Oil

 I'm not really a tuna guy. I tend to buy it to give to the cats on a good day but this Portofino Solid Yellowfin Tuna in Extra Virgin Olive Oil is so good that I end up sharing it with my furry army.

I like to get a can of this and a spoon and eat a few bites before giving the rest to my cats who swarm over it until only the smell is left. Then I have tuna breath but my cats are where I want them to be and not running around the house when I'm working. 

I got to get more of this stuff. The cats and I just love it. 

Hostess Ding Dongs Iced Latte

With an odd synthetic flavor Hostess Ding Dongs Iced Lattes aren't all that great. They are also so sugary that I think they make my eyes go blurry. I honestly used most of mine as a coffee creamer rather than just drinking it, because it would make my blood sugar rise like the tides. 

 

Fail.
 

Colameco's Uncured Sliced Pancetta

Colameco's Uncured Sliced Pancetta is kind of like really fatty bacon. I cooked it which you are not supposed to do, and there was all kinds of fat coming off it and it came out really crisp. 

I have to say that it was so salty that I should have used less. This is the kind of thing rich people put on crackers and I'm not rich nor would I buy this if it had not been on sale and almost free. 

Acquired taste, leave it be. 

Birds Eye Teriyaki Broccoli Bites

How do you take something good for you and make it bad for you? Bread it and deep fry it normally. Birds Eye Teriyaki Broccoli Bites are breaded if not deep fried and they are much better than the cauliflower bites because the cauliflower bites smell like, well cauliflower. 

This is better for you than just eating fried chicken. It's still a lot of Calories and not that great for you but the flavor is spot on. If the bites were bite sized as apposed to too large to fit in my mouth I would have liked these better. 

All in all, this is worth trying, because you may just like them. They didn't make me wish I was eating something better.

Sarita Chicken Flavored Rice With Vegetables

 Sarita Chicken Flavored Rice With Vegetables is a ready blended rice dish that can be made easily and added to any meal. I would just dump this into the crockery with water and my chicken and it comes out just fine. 

I have to admit that I normally would not care for something like this, but it works and is an easy add to a meal.  For the mother who needs to come up with dinner on the quick because she has three jobs and no time this is a great idea. 

I wouldn't call it a game changer but it's a fine thing to have on hand. 

Kellogg's Mermaid blue raspberry waffles

 There is nothing magical about Kellogg's Mermaid blue raspberry waffles. They taste a little fruity but otherwise are rather bland. I guess that making things mermaid is to make them blue then. Funny, I mean, I guess the ocean is blue or green but this looks like a radioactive cow turd that mutated some bees that made a hive inside it. 

I'm not a fan of eating cow turds, radioactive or otherwise, but these taste okay.