Monster Energy Gronk

Monster Energy Gronk is football player flavored and I have to say I'm happy that it does not taste anything like I would imagine a football player would. It just kind of tastes like monster. I was expecting to barf this crap up. I don't know what football players taste like but I'm sure it's not good.

Galaxy Burger Pork Chop Breakfast

Over at Galaxy Burger in Ontario California this is the Pork Chop Breakfast. Simply put, you have protein and starch with little in the way of vitamins.  If you're on your way to the gym and you plan to pump some real iron then this is all the stuff you need to keep it going. It is not a balanced meal, but what is in this day and age?

Sobieski Espresso Polish Vodka

Sobieski Espresso Polish Vodka is the first flavored vodka that I tried without making it myself. I was skeptical about the whole idea but then I saw the price tag, and knew that it was worth trying. This stuff was only four bucks. 

This is a fine vodka with a small aftertaste. It's not totally smooth, but for the price this is great stuff. Again, drink in moderation because cheap vodka will give you more of a hangover.

 

Terra Real Vegetable Chips Sweet Potato Sea Salt

Terra Real Vegetable Chips Sweet Potato Sea Salt are the kind of thing you reach for when you want chips but want to be healthy. They have a great flavor, but for some reason they do not have the shape of chips but rather are all crinkled up.

I mean, if you want to dip these things in hummus they don't have enough edge. I mean, these are okay but they could be better. 

Westside Bakehouse Hoagie Submarine Rolls

Westside Bakehouse Hoagie Submarine Rolls are so much more boring than their name would have you believe. I mean, look at those things. They just look like so much fun. Then you eat them, and it's just bread. Disappointing

Colavita Spinach Tagliatelle Nests

Colavita Spinach Tagliatelle Nests are the kind of pasta that comes measured for you. You ask yourself, do I want one or two nests and then pop that many in the boiling water.

Pasta, for the most part, doesn't have that much flavor and this Tagliatelle is as expected, but I found them to be a really easy addition to my meals. 

Honestly, the idea of the pasta nest is a good one. Love that stuff. 

Fatburger King Burger

The King Burger at Fatburger is just a larger version of their original. This is very American as we here in America just love to shove beef in our face until me can't eat anymore then do bad things to ourselves in the hope of getting thin. 

As for me, I think this burger is just right for a massive beast like myself. I mean, I am a manzilla and they come in manzilla ... I'm going to try the manzilla sized burger soon. 

Boulder Canyon Authentic Foods Lentil Carrot and Quinoa Crisps

Boulder Canyon Authentic Foods Lentil Carrot and Quinoa Crisps sound like hippie food, and taste like pepper. I mean, past the pepper there is not much to taste. 

These are the kind of thing you can take or leave. I wouldn't say they are bad but they are not replacing Doritos any time soon.

Humble Roots Living Butter Lettuce

Humble Roots Living Butter Lettuce will last a long time in the refrigerator. After that it is for the most part just lettuce and it goes well in your sandwich and salad. I think these things are just fine and I would get them again if I made sandwiches or salads ... or rather if I pretend I'm going to. 

Organic Hope Hummus Thai Coconut Curry

The Thai Coconut Curry flavor of Hope Hummus is oddly mild for as curry flavored anything. I mean, you can tell it's not normal hummus but you can't say Coconut or Curry. I'm not sure what Thai people taste like, but I would think like most people so it doesn't taste much like person either. 

If you come across this it's a fine hummus so take a walk on the wild side and get some. You will be underwhelmed. 

Garden of Eatin' Sweet Potato Corn Tortilla Chips

Garden of Eatin' Sweet Potato Corn Tortilla Chips have a burst of sweet as you bite in, and then crunch as a light chip afterwards. As a combination they work well but you have to be looking for sweet chips to want to eat them. I know the Sweet Potato can go both ways on this one but these chips really can't. I like these and they are just fine. I would eat them again. 

Galaxy Burger Country Breakfast

I ordered the Galaxy Burger Country Breakfast at Galaxy Burger in Ontario California and the lady had some trouble understanding me. The Country Breakfast is also the Country Fried Steak. 'Country' in  food terms normally means fried or big because there is a lot of work and oil in farming America. You need all that food to get through the day.

In any case, the potatoes nearly fell off my plate and there was  food to make it hard to finish. Was it good? Yes. Was it what I can get at any burger diner? Yes. America is not known for its innovation in morning foods.

Snack Pack Dragon Treasure

Snack Pack Dragon Treasure looks more like paint than food and comes with a temporary tattoo for you to play around with. I tried the unicorn version of this stuff and it was a product more suited for a sex shop than a food store. No one would really want to eat it. Well, this stuff is so bad that even my brother wouldn't eat it which is bad. 

The red I think is cherry and the  green is lime. Both are gross.

Lunchables Extra Cheesy Pizza

Lunchables Extra Cheesy Pizza is what you get in a multi pack with the better kind. 

Why they even make these I can't say, because they are something of a disappointment, but they taste okay. You get more cheese than you need and that sauce is great. The truth is, however, that I would never pick these over pepperoni. I just like pepperoni.

Little Debbie Fancy Cakes

Fancy Cakes sounds like what they call Little Debbie in her teens and twenties when she spends her days by the pool in a thong. 'Look at fancy cakes over there, I'd take a bite out of that."

In truth, theses things are okay, really bad for you, but okay. I would recommend you eat them only if you are the kind of person who feels good by the pool in a thong. Manzillas like me need to stay away. 

Life Mix Functional Tea Green Tea with fiber Lime Flavor

Life Mix Functional Tea Green Tea with fiber Lime Flavor is you name long enough? I mean, honestly, are you sure you don't kneed a few more words there to make your point? Anyway, this stuff was in the bargain bin at my local discount store and I got some feeling like I needed something a little less rich in my diet. 

This stuff is okay. I mean, I would drink it so long as the sweetener doesn't give me the runs which it may. 

Adaptable Meals Boneless Pork Loin Fillet Sauteed Mushrooms and Bacon Flavor

Adaptable Meals Boneless Pork Loin Fillet Sauteed Mushrooms and Bacon Flavor worries me because of that word 'flavor'. It generally means that it's not made of what you say they are.

I made one of these and found that they were salty and soft with little of the meat getting stuck in my teeth. These are not bad but only buy at a good price. 

Subway Sandwiches Ultimate Meatball Sub

I'm told that when it gets cold out Subway rolls out more hot subs and the Subway Sandwiches Ultimate Meatball Sub is one of those common to their lineup. It differs from a normal Meatball Sub by adding cheese and garlic sauce that is toasted on it's own as apposed to with the balls. 

Now, of all the sandwiches in the Ultimate line this is the hardest to eat and if you don't get it to cool down just right it will burn your mouth. 

I thought this was good but not as good as some other sandwiches they had on offer. 

Fatburger Sweet Potato Fries

Fatburger Sweet Potato Fries are more savory than sweet and they go well with ketchup. In the world of  burger places these are different and that makes them worth trying. I'm not saying these will rock your world but they are good enough to have from time to time.

St Pierre 2 Brioche Cinnamon Popovers

St Pierre 2 Brioche Cinnamon Popovers are best had out of the microwave after twenty seconds. It's cold, it's winter, and you need something to go with that coffee. These are great for that. 

I still don't know what a popover is, but I'm guessing it has to do with how the dough is wrapped together. I don't understand, but I'll eat these anyway.

Westside Bakehouse Mountain Man Wheat Bread

Mountain Man Wheat Bread tastes nothing like whisky, pancakes, or pine nuts like one would think Mountain Man something would taste like. 

If what you want is to have a sandwich because it's a new year and you're on a diet so you can't have a burger then this is fine wheat bread. Past that I think the Mountain Man name is wasted on this bread. It is in no way rugged or interesting. It's just bread. Not bad bread but still just bread. 

Waba Grill Dumplings

Waba Grill Dumplings are there for those of you who want more when you Waba and who doesn't want more when you Waba? I'm going to be honest here, these things are just kind of there. I can't say I look at these and say "I want more" but I can say that they were okay.

Waba Grill Sweet and Spicy Chicken Plate

Waba Grill Sweet and Spicy Chicken Plate is disgusting. It's the kind of thing that if you leave it in your car over night your whole car will smell and you'll want to barf. 

It burns in the mouth, which can be a good thing, but it's not a good thing.

I don't expect these to stick around long so if you want to feel my pain go try one now. 

Crispers Crispy Corn and Rice Cereal

It's a new year and you think that the more it tastes like cardboard the better it is for you. Your eyes catch 'Crispers' the discount Crispix cereal that taste like cardboard. 'Jackpot!' you say to yourself and put these in your bag. 

Crispers don't taste too much like cardboard. I mean, they taste okay enough for me to keep eating them.  Not as good as Crispix, but good enough.

Lantana Sriracha Carrot Hummus

So you want something healthy and you're eye catches the 'carrot' on the cover of this Lantana Sriracha Carrot Hummus and you pick up a tub. 

It's good stuff to be sure. It was hot and I couldn't really taste the carrot, but this was some good hummus. I would get this again.I would say that it's better for you than some good old French Fries but you will need strong chips to mop up this dip. Dang things kept braking on me. 

Baller's Blend Monster Punch

Baller's Blend Monster Punch is on the chary side of punch if you ask me and it didn't hit me very hard. All and all, this is a fine energy drink with the strength of Monster and the flavor of okay soda. It gets the job done. Still, with punch in the name I would like it to hit like a wet fish of ten pound or more.

Campbell's Well Yes! Sweet Corn & Roasted Poblano Sipping Soup

Campbell's Well Yes! Sweet Corn & Roasted Poblano Sipping Soup is a smooth thing that you can keep in your car or work bag until you forget your lunch and need to have something to eat. 

There are no chunks in these things so you can bet the texture is not a problem. Good stuff, really. 

Quorn Meatless Italian Sausages

Quorn Meatless Italian Sausages almost taste like food. They are not vegan because they have egg in them, but they are not as good as the real deal by any means. 

The first one I thought was okay, the second one grew on me but I have yet to finished the pack. These things just aren't the real thing and you will know it from the start. 

Fail. 

Lunchables Pizza with Pepperoni

The New Year is all in swing and you need to get something less fattening than a burger for lunch. Lunchables Pizza with Pepperoni are here for you to give you an out. 

These things aren't that bad cold, and I think the sauce is okay.  I have to point out that these will not fill you up so have one with an apple and a bottle of water and you will have a good meal.

Do better than last year. Don't give up ... says Manzilla. 

Cide Road Switchel Apple Cider Vineger Drink Male Ginger

Cide Road Switchel Apple Cider Vinegar Drink Maple Ginger is a long name with a mix of flavors that feel odd in my mouth. I mean, this stuff isn't like a drink one would say, "I'm going to get some of," it's more of a "I'm feeling bad, got some of that Cide Road stuff?"

I think this is one of those, it's too good for you to taste good, sort of drinks. Interesting stuff but not going to replace Jack and Coke.  

I think this is none alcoholic. 

Rescue Organic Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

It's New Years day and you're looking around your demolished house wondering how your going to get all this cleaned up. You know you're going to drink all that left over booze and get the hangover of your life but the boss said if you call off on the second your fired. 

Answer: Rescue Organic Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. Mix some of that with the left over eggnog and in a few minutes you'll be back on your feet and ready to wash uncle Mike's vomit off your couch. Dude just hose it off and set a fan on it. It will be fine. 

I'm not saying this is a way around the good old tomato something that will get you through the next week of drinking and crying over all the money you spent over the holidays but it helps.  

Remember to look up things to do with beer to get that keg cleaned out in time to get your deposit back.