AriZona Extra Strength Energy Shot Fruit Punch

AriZona Extra Strength Energy Shot Fruit Punch is not very extra strength, but certainly is fruit punch. I wouldn't call it good fruit punch really, but if I were to taste it without knowing what it was I would know that it is fruit punch. 

The only problem there is that I think I'm immune to the punch in these and they do very little for me. I don't know why. 
 

Deli Market Yellow Mustard

 Deli Market Yellow Mustard is common American mustard. There is not much to say about it, but if you like the mild mustard of Americans this is for you.

Cap'n Crunch Berrytastic Pancake Mix

 Cap'n Crunch Berrytastic Pancake Mix sounds like a dumb idea. I mean, wouldn't you want the crunch and not the berry for your pancakes? I think they only went on sale because of the Aunt Jemima brand stamp...I don't know if I ever ate her pancakes before. 

As pancakes go these are easy to make and taste fine. They are a little blue when you cook them.

As the politics go, and this whole Aunt Jemima thing pans out, well, I'm sure the starving children care deeply about your stereotype. I mean, why worry about feeding children when you can make them feel better about history or some crock like that. 

I mean, look people, if you want to make things better help the living over the dead and feed the hungry children. These pancakes will do. I think I'll give a box to the orphans.

Twizzlers Twists Licorice

 I found me some Licorice flavor Twizzlers. I always wanted to try these, but then I didn't look to hard because I'm fat. When you're as fat as I am and you get mistaken for the blob it's not a good idea to try these sorts of things. 

Yet, try them I did and I like them. Now I can have more if I drop a hundred pounds.

Wolfgang Puck Organic Free Range Chicken & Dumplings Soup

 I Meh at you 'Wolfgang Puck Organic Free Range Chicken & Dumplings Soup', you are good, but not that good. I expected a little more. I wanted it to be like the cover shows full of vegetables. The truth is that this is good soup. I don't know if it's that much better than any other soup, but at least you know the chicken was treated okay before they cut it's head off and boiled it.

Carl's Jr. Hand-Breaded Chicken and Waffle Sandwich

 Yes, now you too can be unimpressed by the new Carl's Jr. Hand-Breaded Chicken and Waffle Sandwich all day long. They smell better than they taste but they just don't taste all that much. 

I have to admit they made these fresh for me, but there isn't enough of the maple butter to give them anything but the smell. They look so much better in the ad, but in real life this is what you get.

Disappointed to the max

Three Bridges Three Cheese Tortellini

 Three Bridges Three Cheese Tortellini is a bit more bland than I would expect. Grandma coming from Sicily and all, I have a different expectation of this kind of food than many others.

The big upside of this Three Bridges pasta is that it only takes three minutes to boil, so you can make it fast and then how much you like it will depend on what you put on it. 

I have to say that I would get this again but only, because I love adding things to my pasta.

Garden of Eatin Blue Corn Taco Kit

 

I honestly thought this Garden of Eatin Blue Corn Taco Kit was just blue corn shells so I had made the other stuff before opening it. The blue corn taco shells are the bomb, and I would buy them again. As for the rest, well, I didn't try it.

Prego Farmers' Market White Bean & Roasted Garlic Sauce

 Prego Farmers' Market White Bean & Roasted Garlic Sauce is one of those things you have to have fresh and heat all the way through to enjoy. Other wise the beans get too hard and the garlic gets overpowering. 

I had it as is and with sausage, and the sausage really made the meal. I think this is worth trying, but not it's going to satisfy everyone.  

Hungry Buddha Coconut Clusters Cranberry Crunch

Hungry Buddha Coconut Clusters Cranberry Crunch is one of those odd snacks that is better than it sounds. Do you get some coconut in your teeth? Sure, but it's not as bad as you'd think. 

If you like dried cranberries your going to like, this but then this is a snack for a Buddha, and you know Buddha looks like me.

Bar S Garlic Bolongna

 

Bar S is a subpar lunch meat that normally I don't care for. I think there Garlic Bolongna is not bad. Most of my cats don't like it but the cats that come to see me every day and are used to hunting love this stuff. 

This lunch meat has a strong smell of Garlic and will really give you the sent from at least three feet away. This is not a bad smell and the stuff is worth eating. I've had better bologna, but this isn't that bad. 

AriZona Golden Bear Strawberry Lemonade

 AriZona Golden Bear Strawberry Lemonade sound so much better than it is and it is bad. It tastes, well, old and watery. I thing cherry is the normal flavor for lemonade not that the strawberry is very strong for that matter. 

I give this stuff a pass. It's not refreshing at all.

Nestle Hot Pockets Sweet Treats Cinnamon Roll

 Nestle Hot Pockets Sweet Treats Cinnamon Roll are a crust full of sugary slime. They taste almost nothing like cinnamon. I don't know what I was thinking I would get out of these, but it wasn't this. So, fail!

al fresco Taco Night Mild Mexican Style Chicken Sausage

 al fresco Taco Night Mild Mexican Style Chicken Sausage lives up to it's name as a flavorful sausage that isn't very hot. I have too say that if you're using this it's too flavorful to be added to pasta sauce, or at least the wrong flavor, and I would so add these to Tacos.

Truth be told that these are an individually wrapped well made sausage that will get the job done without any fuss. I have to say I like them and I am looking forward to having some tacos.

Heinz Simply Tomato Ketchup with No Artificial Sweeteners

 'Heinz Simply Tomato Ketchup with No Artificial Sweeteners' has a very long name. I really hate how long that name is, but this is ketchup from back in the day before it got all screwed up.

This is made with actual cane sugar and it tastes great. I have to say I don't remember going through ketchup this fast but here it is, best ketchup I've had in thirty years.

Go Girl Energy Drink

 I'm a real sucker for anything that fights breast cancer because that's what took my mother. Go Girl Energy Drink has that pink ribbon so I got a few cans even with it having no sugar. If I drink too much of any sugar free stuff I get sick. 

In any case, if you're into sugar free this stuff is just fine. I got to watch it, because if I drink to much I'll get the runs.

V8 Sparkling +Energy Strawberry Kiwi

 V8 Sparkling +Energy Strawberry Kiwi looks like apple juice to me. Tastes a good deal like it to if I'm being honest. I think that whole box is about one Monster of energy. This is an okay drink for folks who don't want to go hard into the energy drink world. If you have never had an energy drink before this is a fine place to start. Just know that it is not a high powered drink and is only going to give you a light boost. 

Wienerschnitzel Large Fish and Chips

 Wienerschnitzel Large Fish and Chips is more chips than anything else. Have to say that I love fish and chips but these are a disappointment. They aren't crisp or flaky and they just kind of taste Meh. I can see why these come and go, because you don't miss them.

King's Hawaiian Hawaiian Sweet Hot Dog Buns

King's Hawaiian has these Hawaiian Sweet Hot Dog Buns and I'm not sure why. The flavors don't work that well together. I think maybe my choice of topping is what killed this but I don't see these showing up and doing well at your next BBQ.

Also, the buns are on the fragile side. I really thought this was a good brand so maybe I got a bad batch. 
 

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged Berry Blast

Mountain Dew Game Fuel Charged Berry Blast is the closest I've ever come to crunch berry flavored window cleaner. It beats mtn Dew frost bite by a few miles, but still is not one of the best drinks I've had. It did put me right to sleep, so there is that.

Now that stay fresh top is an issue and you may need to pop it with a knife or something. When you do it will splash you in the face. It does this every time... I'm not a fan of this stuff.
 

Michael Angelo's Lasagna with Meat Sauce

 Michael Angelo's Lasagna with Meat Sauce is on the good side of lasagna. Not to many not meat things. This is to say that if you can get this at a good price then buy. It's good, not at all like real lasagna. Most of the ingredients don't go all the way to the edges, but I could eat this stuff all day.  

Yes, I know, I'm fat and could eat a lot of things all day, but this is worth eating.

Mountain Dew Major Melon Soda

 Mountain Dew Major Melon Soda has no melon and rightly tastes only mildly like melon. It is not as sharp as normal Mountain Dew nor is it as bland as Mountain Dew Frost Bite. I have to say that as sodas go this isn't bad, a real summer flavor, and with enough kick to be worth drinking. 

I'm not a real gamer, but I work long hours and I like this stuff.

Win, drink with vodka, drink responsibly.

Hard Frescos Cucumber Lime

 Cucumber adds very little to any drink, but Hard Frescos Cucumber Lime does not taste like cucumber. It tastes like, well, old vegetables. It tastes like, maybe, the workers were using the cucumber for something other than food before putting it in this drink.  

I think a sea cucumber's butt hole tastes like this stuff, but I never ate one so I don't know.

In any case, I've tried just about everything to make this palatable and it just doesn't work. This is nasty to the core.

Pepsi Mango

 Pepsi Mango is one of those products from Pepsi that can be hard to find. I know because I went to two or three stores before getting hold of it, and the workers at that store mentioned how fast it sells out. 

Past that this is great with vodka, fine on it's own, a real summer soda if I ever had one. I'll grant it's more of an evening drink but most vodka ready sodas are. 

If you like Pepsi and vodka this is a must try. I've never been too big on mango.

Homeboy Tortilla Strips White Corn

 I always try to buy Homeboy products when I see them because of the work they do for people trying to clean up their lives. There is a lot wrong with my Los Angeles but Homeboy Industries is something right. They also make a great Tortilla Strip with a restaurant worthy crunch right out of the bag. I am almost never impressed with a simple chip, but these are really a standout. Be a good person, and get yourself some of these so that a few men can have a second chance at life.

International Delight Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll Coffee Creamer

 International Delight Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll Coffee Creamer lives up to it's name. I mean, I would like there to be more cinnamon, but all to often the cinnamon roll has too little of that as well. This has a strong flavor but will add a lot of inches to your gut. I love it and it kills me so good.

Shasta Root Beer

 

Shasta Root Beer showed up at the discount store last year, because the lock in order meant that not as many people where getting drunk at parties. This root beer is kind of the stuff you drink after you've had a few and you just need something to thin out your vodka. 

To be honest the first one tastes fine, and the second one tastes less fine, and the more you drink Shasta Root Beer the more you have this feeling that something is wrong.  

Drink in moderation.

All-American Taffy Blueberry, Cherry, Vanilla

 

 

All-American Taffy is decked out in patriotic colors with Blueberry, Cherry, and Vanilla. I have to say that salt water taffy isn't a big thing on me but the tart nature of the red and blue really hit home. These are some good candies, but I'm a fat American so I can't go eating these. I'm shipping them off to the homeless who need them more than I do. I hate being this fat.

Secret Admirer

 

Cap'n Crunch Limited Edition Red White & Blue Crunch Berries

Cap'n Crunch Limited Edition Red White & Blue Crunch Berries are so Merican they make you fat and lethargic. All they need is some bacon and Jesus to fill them in. blah.

No wonder I got these at a discount. They are just normal Crunch Berries with different colors. Now that back of the box offers some fun. Kids may like that, but I don't have kids so I don't know.

It has fireworks and fireflies, and I like both of those things.
 

Shasta Tiki Punch

 I walked into a Ralph's a few months back and someone said that Big K soda reminded them of Shasta. They were under the impression that Shasta had gone out of business and I let them know that it was a very much thriving brand of discount soda. 

Shasta is hit or miss, coming in a variety of flavors, often that is hard to find in other soda.  Where Shasta fails is in their flavor ripoffs. Their cola sucks. The Root Bear I will get to in a review, but their Tiki Punch isn't that bad.  

It really doesn't taste like a Tiki. To be honest I'm not sure what a Tiki should taste like. Wood I guess. Anyway, it tasted good enough to be mistaken for the real thing and will brighten up your summer.

Drink on!

Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Bagel Dogs

 Nathan's Famous Coney Island Beef Bagel Dogs have more flavor than their pretzel dogs, but that can be good or bad. Truth is that the bagel topping can be burnt, but that is only some of them.

All and all these are just not as good as pretzel dogs, but very close. As a snack they are ready fast, bad for you, and too hot out of the microwave. They are so very American I expected and bald eagle to give me the thumbs up as I was eating them.