BJ's Frito Nachos Hold the Onions

Not as good a real nachos.

Farmer Boy's Fries

Golden, crisp, and lacking salt. I can't say if they just forgot the salt or they don't add salt. In any case, I think these are great fries. Not as good as In N' Out, but I like them.

Farmer Boy's The Farmer's Burger

It was big, natural, and simple. I say it's about as fattening as a bacon double western from Carl's Jr. but not as chemical. 

Farmer Boy's Cookie and Cream Shake

With nearly a thousand calories I felt like I had been abused medically. It wasn't worth it!

IHOP Strawberry

Now this is some stuff, not good stuff, just stuff, I think fake blood tastes better. Anyway, this was on the bitter side and had no resemblance to strawberry 

IHOP Country Fried Steak & Eggs

This was a lot of food. So much food that I had to give a good deal of it away. This wasn't a thing that pained me as the 'meat' was ground fried slime.

IHOP Blueberry

Blueberry what? Again I know that there is just some blueberry stuff on the table, but I'd like to know if it is real blueberry.

IHOP Appetizer Sampler

Well, the breading didn't stick to the onion rings, but the other stuff was okay. I can't say this was very good but for something that will clog your gut it was sub par.

IHOP Butter Pecan

This was the best butter pecan stuff at the table. It wasn't great but it was good enough for sugar goop.

IHOP Never Empty Coffee Pot

The pot at my table was not "never empty". We drank it dry and had to ask for more. 

After that, this is coffee for those who want something to put in their cream and sugar.

IHOP Old Fashioned

Well, old fashioned what? The menu I'm looking at doesn't say.

If you've never had real maple syrup this may fool you, but it tastes more like just sugar to me.

Costco Churro

These big babies are only worth it if they are fresh. A stale Churro is a hand full of disappointment. Still, I love these so much that I often try to get to Costco just as they open to get my hands on their soft warm goodness. 

Costco Mocha Freeze

Freeze it is called and freeze my brain it did my friend. The pain was worth it frankly and this was less than two bucks. Oh Costco, you kill me so good.

Panera Bread Frozen Caramel

600 Calories and made with a bunch of stuff you need to be a chemist to recognize this just wasn't worth it. It was okay, but not as good as what I'd make at home. 

I can tell you my kidneys and liver are angry at me for drinking this synthetic crap.

Panera Bread Vegetarian Creamy Tomato Soup

I dipped my sandwich in this, I broke up my chips and dropped them in, I could taste none of the promised red pepper or oregano.

I can take this or leave it, but for 450 Calories and 680 mgs of sodium I can't call it good for you.

On the up side, they say it wards off prostate cancer so Mr. Happy will like you for eating this stuff.  

Panera Bread Smoked Turkey Panini

You look at the picture on the menu and think "Now that's a sandwich" then you get this and feel a little depressed. The cheese looks microwaved and the turkey looks dry. 

This is not to say it wasn't good. It just wasn't as good as what you got in the picture. I can't recommend this seven hundred and twenty Calorie disappointment because the two thousand five hundred and ninety milligrams of salt are just a bit much.

A bit much as in I'm surprised I didn't die from hypernatremia.

In N' Out Vanilla Shake

Five Hundred and Eighty Calories of creamy white heaven served cold in the California sun.

That's for 15oz of the stuff so its a lot compared to about 200 calories as listed for a soda of 16 oz. I guess what you have to ask for yourself is "would I get two refills of that 16oz soda?" if you answered "yes" then you should get the shake and lay off the soda. If you answered "no" then the shake will get you to diabetes just a hair faster than your carbonated soft drink

In N' Out Burger Protein Style

So the Protein/Atkins diet gave us this wonder of burger engineering. I once had a four by four in the company of a man who said he liked the taste of the bun and wanted to know if more meat was just cheaper.

Buns are just there and you should take them or leave them as you please!! I love getting my burgers protein style and this burger is heaven on a bun. 

Kirkland Signature Unsalted Mixed Nuts

These are nuts. You like them or you don't. All jokes aside, unsalted is the way to go. I put these on my salads and they make the green stuff worth eating.

Trader Joe's Organic Whole Wheat Penn Pasta

With eight grams of protein and five grams of fiber this pasta is vastly superior to what I've been eating. Or, no, not really, I mean its better and tastes about the same. It has more protein and fiber than most pasta and tastes about the same so if you don't mind it then eat it if you do no big deal.

Evergood Fine Foods Hot Link Sausage

Now, I don't know what they mean by hot unless you compare these to say hot dogs which are only hot when you cook them. These aren't that hot, but they do taste like something. Unfortunately, a frying pan isn't enough to bring the flavor out of these unless you cut them up which I do often.

In any case, not great, not bad, just middle of the road. 

Oroweat Premium Italian Bread

Without adding something to it, this bread is not worth eating. Oroweat has many breads that are good for you and this isn't one. You have to ask yourself, if it isn't good for me and doesn't taste all that great then why does it exist? Honestly, I have trouble answering that question.

Montecito Burrito Size 12" Flour Tortillas

So, I got the idea that I would wrap up a salad in one of these and take it to work. Other than the saturated fat these are as good for you as big tortillas can be I guess.

They do the job but past that are almost nothingness. 

Wild Turkey Spiced Whisky

Given that I started this with Forgiven and have been an American Honey fan for some time I'm not big on this corn wine. I know it's a better whisky than most drink but it doesn't go with cola all that well. 

I think this is more a whisky for straight drinkers rather than blenders. I drink about a shot of whisky a week. Once this is gone I'll stick to better stuff.

Cut n Clean Greens Kale

It's Kale. It has the incredible ability to be kale in a bag. I don't like the stalks which are in the cuts, but if you're okay with those go for Cut N Clean Greens Kale.

Hot Pockets Chicken Broccoli & Cheddar

You can see the steam coming off the vegetables which are the best part of this meal. Not that I didn't like this hot pocket, but more that I didn't find it filling. I think you need to eat the whole two pack to feel full. 

Funny, I remember these being bigger, but I was smaller then.

Double "Q" Pink Salmon

This Salmon boasts sustainable fishing and relatively low contaminants. It's packed with the bones so note that when you cook.

This salmon is nothing but fish taste wise so keep that in mind but this stuff gets a 'thumbs up'. What did you expect? It's good for you.

First Street Green Peas

Do you have to specify that peas are green? I mean, are there other colours that I don't know about? Anyway, these are peas, eat um', they're good for you.

Hot Pockets Steak and Cheddar

I found it hard not to just eat the whole box before reviewing these Hot Pockets. There still wasn't much about them to make them great.

These things are not good for you but just have them with lots of greens and stop whining.

Jennie-O Turkey Meatballs Italian Style

It was like eating wads of paper. These things were so bad I fed them to some stray cats.

Panera Bread Ice Green Tea

One of the healthiest sweetened drinks you can get at Panera Bread it's still sweetened and not your best option. Then, I found the fruit undertones welcome and the drink overall refreshing.

I'm not saying it was as good as a Pepsi but it hit the spot as well as any death juice.