Lorina Festivite French Sparkling Grape

 Always looking to find more to review for you my lucky readers I happened upon this posh grape beverage. Lorina Festivite French Sparkling Grape looks so fancy with its old fashioned pop top and the sound it makes as you open it is to die for. 

It has an enchanting flavor that is fit for alcohols with more body like rum and gin and tastes more like real grape than other juices I've had. I would describe it as light, complex, and charming. 

If you run across it in the store today it may just be a hit at your party tonight. 

Jack in the Box Biscoff Donut Holes

 I never have high expectations for Jack in the Box but these Biscoff Donut Holes are so meh that they make me angry. First off, it's spelled doughnut because it's a nut, as in nuts and bolts, made of dough. Second, these are too sticky. Third, they are heavy and more like a hush puppy than a doughnut. 

Are they bad? No. Are they good? Not really. 

Kellogg's Pop-tarts Frosted Banana Bread

 Kellogg's Pop-tarts Frosted Banana Bread is epic. I can taste no real banana's but this tasted like really good banana bread.You the kind that is dark and full of spice and tastes like banana candy? That kind of banana bread.

I normally can't stand Pop-tarts, but these are some of the best I ever had. I still shouldn't buy more because I'm a fat slob but you get the idea. 

Win!

Portland Bee Balm Yuzu Citrus

 

I'm not normally a lip balm kind of dude. I mean, I don't go around putting things on my lips all that often. Then I got sick and went to the store in need of something for my ragged bleeding lips. 

 

Portland Bee Balm was on the short list of things they had and this was there last tube of Yuzu Citrus. Stuff works really well and tastes good. It stopped the pain and bleeding right away. I had to put more on in just over an hour, but when I started my lips looked like I kissed a hot frying pan. 

I asked a friend of mine who lived up in Portland for a good time, and she said that in deed they do have it up there, and she feels it works well. 

From what I gather this is one of the nicer, environmentally friendly, lip balms and that wood wrap will keep it from slipping out of your hand in the rain. 

Good Stuff.

 

Starbucks Via Instant Italian Roast Coffee

If you don't have a hangover you may soon, and instant coffee is a good thing to have on hand when that happens. My version of a hangover is cleaning out my refrigerator, where I found this stuffed in back for some reason. 

Maybe I was drunk. 

 I got this Starbucks Via Instant Italian Roast Coffee after having a friend tell me he was having a bad day, and I wanted to have a coffee with him. It turned out we didn't need instant which is why it got packed away.

Anyway, this isn't bad coffee and can be drank black but would be better with cream and sugar. Most coffee you make is bitter if you don't know how to make it so this works well enough to be good. 

I'm a dark roast man to start with, and this is dark. It is the soothing black coffee that you may just need to get you through a hard day after too much drinking.
 

McDonald's Chicken McGriddle

  The McDonald's Chicken McGriddle is a thing. I mean, you can order them and be unimpressed. You can also just look at this one and be unimpressed. The point is that the chicken is so meh that it drags the whole thing down, and you leave asking yourself if you really ate that. 

 Yeah, this was sad. Try something else.

Galerie FAO Schwarz Giant Chocolate Coin

 I think the Galerie FAO Schwarz Giant Chocolate Coins you get now are honestly a little bigger than this. I got these so long ago that I forgot about them in my back refrigerator. 

The coin shows two children about to enter a FAO Schwarz toy store, or so I guess, I never been to one myself. The whimsical gears and tinker toys bring a smile to my face and remind me of my youth. 

The chocolate is good. I mean, it was old and had been kept cold but was out of date so take that into account, but it was still good chocolate. I wouldn't call it top notch but your kids will be happy with these. 

16oz Reeses Santa Claus

You have a look at this full pound of Reeses goodness and think ‘that is going to hurt me so good’. It won’t, it will hurt, but not so good. In truth the peanut butter is dry and the whole thing is something like fifteen servings of a hundred and fifty calories each. It looks even bigger with the box being made of mostly air and the candy being smaller when you have it out and in the open.

I have a slice or two of this with coffee every night before I get out to work and never do I say ‘well, I’d like another of those’. This is a lot of candy that isn’t all that great and would make a child very sick if you gave it to them as a gift. 

It's big, it's okay, it's not worth buying. 

 

Trolli Sour Brite Trees

The world of Trolli candy isn’t one I’ve lived in. I’ve tried a few candies for this blog and no other reason. Some I liked and some I didn’t.

 

Now these Trolli Sour Brite Trees are just perfect for the kid you don’t like. They look kind of like sour patch kids on the box, but they are softer and have less flavor. I wouldn’t call them bad, per say, but they sure aren’t good.

 

I picked these up at Ralph’s last year just after Christmas and there were a lot of them. They’re okay to have as a last-minute gift for that one little turd you don’t want coming over to your house on Christmas, but I wouldn't eat them.

 

Brach's Wintergreen Candy Canes

 For the mint enthusiast Brach's Wintergreen Candy Canes taste like mint lifesavers. They do pack a good amount of flavor in those little sticks and so many of you will find these to be a rather nice treat this holiday. 

Me, I'm not a candy cane kind of guy, but I buy them to ship to Mexico for my orphans. 

Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate Gingerbread Cookie Squares

 One of the things I don't think you'll find in the discount bin after Christmas are these Ghirardelli Milk Chocolate Gingerbread Cookie Squares. They really taste like gingerbread and have a strong taste to them that went very well with black coffee. 

Ginger is the dominant flavor and the crunch will linger in your mouth just a little after the chocolate melts away. For the ginger lover these are a top notch treat. 

Now I better get rid of them because I'm already too fat.  

Brachs Holiday Jelly Lights

 Brachs Holiday Jelly Lights are little gumdrops. I like gumdrops so I have to say these are a good idea. They don't feel very holiday and they're more what you would buy for a gingerbread house, but if you like gumdrops you'll like these.

Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark Snowmen

 

Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark Snowmen didn't wow me. I think the peppermint shards were too small to have an impact and the white chocolate top didn't have enough body. It could have been the dark chocolate back not having a strong enough flavor. 

 I expect more from you, Ghirardelli, you're a California company. We have the best stuff in all the world in California and that should go for chocolate.

M&M'S White Chocolate Toasty Vanilla Christmas Candy

 M&M'S White Chocolate Toasty Vanilla Christmas Candy have a lingering flavor that I felt the need to cleanse from my pallet. I think they just tasted too synthetic. I mean, I wouldn't think these are better than normal M&M'S. With how much of these were still around after the holiday I can tell they were not popular. 

You can give these a pass or at least wait a few weeks for them to go on sale.

Oreo Chocolate Candy Holiday Snowballs

 Oreo Chocolate Candy Holiday Snowballs didn't tickle me. I mean, they're not bad, but snowballs aren't brown. I'm not a fan of putting balls in my mouth either. You got to ask what these are really for when you think about it.

Further, the cream isn't like that of an Oreo and the cookie I guess is but you don't get enough of it to really tell. The hollow space in the middle of these really stands out when you bite them in half, but who would do that?

I'm sure the kids will love these as you fatten them up for your holiday dinner, but to me they just don't stand out.

International Delight Coffee Creamer Frosted Sugar Cookie

This Grinch Frosted Sugar Cookie coffee creamer from International Delight tastes nothing like frosted sugar cookies. It tasted like coffee creamer. Maybe that is the Grinch part. He's trolling you.

I got the last one on the shelf last year but I checked the date to be sure it wasn't bad. This is bland and bad for me. Well, everything is bad for me.
 

M&M's Chocolate Mint Flavored Candy Canes

 Never having been a big Candy Cane guy I have still always wanted to try these M&M's Chocolate Mint Flavored Candy Canes. What stopped me was the word ‘flavored’ which normally puts me off any kind of candy.

 

These were on sale last year and so I could try one and ship the rest off to an orphanage in Mexico.

 

Don’t look at me like that! I’m way too fat to eat all the candy I review.

 

Anyway, the flavor of mint and chocolate is rather lost with chocolate being dominant over the whole thing. This is to say that most children will love these because they are sugar, a mint lover will be disappointed, and there is kind of a chocolate flavor to this.

Crav'n Double Stuffed Candy Cane Sandwich Cookies

 Are you sure your name isn’t long enough ‘Crav'n Flavor Double Stuffed Chocolate Candy Cane with Peppermint Creme Sandwich Cookies’? I mean, can you add a few more words to make my job harder? Add to there very long name the fact that they are just okay cookies and you have a product I wish I hadn’t gotten for seventy five percent off in last year’s discount bin.

The world is full of discount Oreo cookies, and these are a lesser product. The may be miserable with coffee but they could be fine with milk I guess. Maybe you should buy them to express some willpower. For me, these are just going to get stale and be forgotten.

Lindt Lindor Holiday Assorted Peppermint Chocolate Candy Truffles

Lindt Lindor Holiday Assorted Peppermint Chocolate Candy Truffles have a dark and light flavor. They are buttery and soft chocolates that melt easily. The peppermint isn't as pepper as it is mint but it is clearly more than just mint. 

These look classy and if you're looking to set out some classy looking candy for the holiday then these are a great idea. I wouldn't call them remarkable, but they are a solid addition to your holiday sugar fest.
 

Hershey's Milk Chocolate Santas

 Hershey's Milk Chocolate Santas are your classic Hershey's Chocolate in the shape of a somewhat phallic Santa. I have to admit I don't like the shape much, but let's be honest, that's what chocolate tends to look like. I mean, really, stuff looks a lot like trouser mud as well, but we never think of that.

Anyway, these are delicious.

Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel Snowmen

 Ghirardelli's Snowmen tend not to last until I do my Christmas buying. I hit the stores after the holiday to get good deals as I donate most of the candy or just give it away. I only got these because I needed candy for a work related exercise and these were the best option. 

This is why I have never before tried these Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel Snowmen which are a perfect balance of sweet and bitter making me regret having to hand them over to the next person.  

Were I a man of greater wealth I would put a picture of these in front of my trainer and think of them as I sweat out the fat. They are like a dream you can eat and so or worth exercising for.

Hostess Chocolate Drizzle Baby Bundts

 Hostess Chocolate Drizzle Baby Bundts Holiday Edition look to be just like normal baby bundts only in a red box. If these were not some of the best things Hostess makes I would be disappointed. 

Putting these in a holiday box gives the store a reason to buy more of them and put them on sale after the holiday. Keep your eyes out for these and buy them at half off. They really kick tail. 

Jelly Belly Watermelon Candy Canes

I’ve come to expect something from Jelly Belly and that is good candy. Their Watermelon Candy Canes are something of a disappointment. They taste very little like watermelon and were as they are clearly candy I don’t feel they stand up to other products from this candy maker. Jelly Belly makes some of the best candy you can find and their flavors tend to be better than this. I guess they subcontracted these thing because they just don’t measure up.
 

Charms Fluffy Stuff Snowballs Cotton Candy

 Charms Fluffy Stuff Snowballs Cotton Candy was on the discount rack after the holiday last year and I don't know why. Winter doesn't end with Christmas you goofs!

Anyway, yeah, it's cotton candy that melts in your mouth and is bad for you. If you look closely this is strawberry flavored. Didn't taste like it but you won't care.

Red Vines Gingerbread Twists

 The funny thing about Red Vines is that the cherry flavor is not licorice. Licorice is black, but the red cherry was more popular. Now, these Gingerbread Twists are brown but they still fall under the Red Vines name. Oddly, there is no mention of licorice on the box at all. 

That doesn't change the fact that these things are killer good. I would have given them more flavor but they have enough to get the job done and they go well with coffee. 

You should really try this if you come across them. That is unless you don't like Red Vines.

Dark Chocolate Peppermint Roca

 Dark Chocolate Peppermint Roca was still around in the after Christmas sale last year, and it being known that Roca is a thing I can't get enough of I took the opportunity to get fatter. I hate myself some times. 

The dark chocolate is not very strong so if you were hoping to have this with wine this is not a good paring for a red. The peppermint is not overpowering so as not to lose the Roca. The candy sticks to your teeth and can still be tasted for a few minutes after eating so washing it away with coffee is recommended.

A black coffee, slightly bitter, is the best accompaniment for this treat to me, but I had to give it time to cleanse my pallet and renew the flavor.  For me, it is hard to eat only the few I should or need too for my review so I try not to buy Roca.

The only time I ever let myself do so is when a new flavor pops up. Here it is calling to me like the spirit of joy and leaving it's mark on my gut. I love these things which is why I had to give them away.

Reese's Holiday Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Nutcrackers

 Reese's Holiday Milk Chocolate Peanut Butter Nutcrackers will not crack nuts. I mean, what is the point of a nutcracker that doesn't crack nuts really?

They are made of a harder chocolate than the peanut butter cups and hold a little more flavor at room temperature. I should also note that these tend to sell out well before the after holiday sales so if you want them you better get them fast.

Warheads Sour Gummy Mix Holiday Candy Box

I don’t think I’m a fan of Warheads to start with, because I’m not even sure if I’ve had them before. Sour Patch Kids I know about, I think I mostly like those, but War Heads have a silly name for candy and would need to have a lot of flavor to back it up.

The Sour Apple Trees in this Warheads Sour Gummy Mix Holiday Candy Box do have a lot of flavor and taste like a Granny Smith apple. They’re just bursting with flavor and I would even say it’s a bit much for me.

The Blue Raspberry stars are not as tart as the trees having less flavor. They should be stronger. I mean, these are warheads and blue raspberry is known to be a strong flavor. 

Then you have those Black Cherry candy canes which are the sweetest of the lot, and I would say the best but they don’t feel like War Heads is a good name for them. 

It goes with the territory when these were some of the most abundant candies left over after Christmas last year that they're not that great. Even the box would appear to be made to gift this to the kid you don't like on a holiday morning. 

They call these things warheads, but they're a little closer to duds.

Sweetarts Candy Canes Blue Punch

Sweetarts Candy Canes Blue Punch tastes like blue raspberry, but I will admit they are different enough from other flavors to be an interesting addition to your holiday fattening. 

I only eat candy canes because I review them. It's not because I'm a fat pig with issues. Stop laughing!

Anyway, these are good. 
 

McDonald's McRib 2024

Yes, the McRib is back at McDonald's and I can say that it's better than the last time I had one. I mean this time it taste like it's made of meat. I still wouldn't call it good meat but this is a passable sandwich.

It still comes with pickles and onions but it's not made of fake meat any longer.  

If you're a fan of the McRib you should get one now.
 

Kit Kat Birthday Cake

 I ran into the birthday cake Kit Kat at my local dollar store, why do we still call them that, and figured I should give it a try. It had little ball candy things inside that look like confetti which defines a birthday cake flavor. 

I don't understand how or why this flavor became a thing, but it is now part of our lives. It's kind of like how unicorn flavor became a thing without there being unicorns to make it out of. Well, unless you count rhinos, but I wouldn't flavor my candy like them.

You bite into one of these and say "yep, that's birthday cake flavor". It's not the cake I want on my birthday, and it's not as good as normal Kit Kats, but it's not bad.  

DiGiorno Classic Crust Spicy Wolvie Pie Frozen Pizza

 DiGiorno Spicy Wolvie Pie Frozen Pizza hit the discount market this week and I picked up a few to see how they were. Featuring pepperoni, bacon bits, and chorizo this is a salty nightmare that mill surly make you sick. 

It tastes fine but as this 'classic crust' pizza is known to do it gets overcooked on the edges and is nothing like a delivery pizza. 

As frozen pizza goes this isn't bad, but I wouldn't have paid full price. 

Partake Crunchy Holiday Sprinkle Cookies

 Partake Crunchy Holiday Sprinkle Cookies are cookies for the sensitive. They are meant to be as allergy free as they can be without tasting like wood. 

I would say they take the coffee well and are okay. Not too rich but very cookie. I feel like I should try them with milk. 

Anyway, were it not for the fact that I'm too fat I would get these again.

Burger King Mexican Street Corn Whopper

 Burger King Mexican Street Corn Whopper really tastes of street corn. Why you would want a hamburger that tastes like street corn I don't know. I mean, I would have liked it better if it tasted like beef. 

I will say that of the three new whoppers this one was the biggest mess if tasting good enough to be something I didn't want to take apart to eat those things that are worth eating. 

I can't say I will miss this when it's gone but I can say it is worth a try.

Pamela's Peppermint Chocolate Cookies

 Pamela's Peppermint Chocolate Cookies are gluten free and non-GMO. They aren't terrible but good is not a word I would have for them. They taste a little on the burnt side and the peppermint flavor is lost completely. 

They are thin cookies that aren't worth the carbs unless you're gluten intolerant. Cookies are for fattening up for the winter, people. Stop trying to make them good for you!

Burger King Cheesy Tots 2024

Burger King Cheesy Tots come and go and these are the 2024 version which must not be as good as the earlier ones because people say these are a fan favorite. Then again, if people love something why does it go away?

What you have here are cheddar tater tots deep fried with a batter that is hard and gives me an odd feeling in my mouth. 

I can see why these went away because they aren't as good as french fries. I honestly really like Burger King french fries and would rather have them over these. 

 

Jack in the Box Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce

 If there is one thing Jack in the Box has it’s a sauce lineup. I’ve never tried most of them so I don’t know if they are any good, but this Honey Mustard Dipping Sauce is some good stuff. I wish a had a soft pretzel to try it on. I did toss this into my side salad, and it made the thing a good deal better so I would definitely have this on my salad again.