I'd never been to TOM's Famous Family Restaurant so I had no idea what a '50/50' was when I ordered. Turns out that that means half ground bacon and half ground beef. Top that wit pastrami and you have the 'Classic 50/50 with Pastrami'.
Well, you get a lot of food for your money at TOM's. I can't say it was impressive because the Pastrami wasn't grilled. I had meat falling all over the place as I ate this and I couldn't finish the french fries. You decide if that was a good thing.
Oh, yeah, and you should ask for mustered. This didn't come with that.
"Is good Bread" reads the label of my "Old Home Wheat Bread" tipping me off to the fact that there is something amiss with this bread. To be honest, it's okay bread at best but the thing is that butter runs right through this to the plate it's sitting on making this very porous bread.
What does that mean? Well, it means that this bread is not very filling. That may be looked at as a good thing if you are on a diet or it may be looked at as a bad thing if you are feeding growing children.
After that, tastes okay and is of average hardness.
Chef David's Gourmet Sausage Andouille is a bland sausage with little in the way of features. Stuff has the consistency of hot dog and none of the smoked flavor I would expect out of Andouille. I also can detect no red wine, onion, or garlic as would be present in Andouille from France.
The only thing I do taste in this is pepper so if you want mildly hot sausage this is your jam. Me, I found this just a bit of a snooze.
Mellow Yellow was a song back in the 60's that talked about smoking banana peals. Mello Yello, released in May of 1979, is Mountain Dew's older and notably less cool cousin. When Coke comes over to visit Pepsi Mountain Dew groans and says "another afternoon wasted listen to sad music and not hanging out with girls."
The only mellow thing about this Yello is that it's flavor is less intense than the Dew but they are both caffeinated monstrosities designed to keep the party going all night. In Mello Yello's case I believe the party is reading a book on algebra.
Now where did I put my math books?
Five Guys Fries are made with peanut oil. Fried to order, and you get as many dumped into the bag as in the cup they serve them in. Nice try, Five Guys, but the size is the size even if you serve them in a cup that's too small.
I will grant that I'm glad I ordered a small, because there were a lot of fries in that order. Still, things didn't taste like much.
Five Guys is a dumb name for a burger joint. What did five guys do to this burger?! For one thing they didn't melt the cheese properly and for another they made this things so that it fell apart as I ate.
It tasted good, not great, but good.
I think I got six of these Farmer's Heart Minestrone Nu:dle Soup for a dollar and I can tell yo that I'm not going to eat another one so I had to take this picture. Yeah, I added two eggs, carrot, Brussels sprouts, and mushroom.
To be clear, it is not that these are bad but more that they are simply not good. Their not goodness is partly do to a lack of flavor and those onions that make funny sounds when you eat them.
I can't recommend this to anyone unless you are really hungry.
As you can see Little Beijing Barbecued Pork is not all that Barbecued. It tastes okay, and I didn't get sick, but it's just not all that great.
CedarLane Roasted Vegetable Tamales are surprisingly good for being made by a company called CedarLane. These are about as bad as normal frozen tamales. That's impressive for being made of vegetables.
At Waba Grill you can have a half of an avocado cut up and put on your meal. That's it, no frills here. Only you can say if you want this but avocado is good fat. Whatever good fat is, I mean, do I have good fat.
The Taco Smell, come on you know it's Taco Smell, Stacker is flat out nasty. It's made with Taco Smell signature roach meat and all kinds of things to make it cheaper. In addition to real cheese there is nacho cheese which is an abomination in the eyes of god. The slime I didn't recognize was okay. I would say these are tolerable in small dose, but as I don't smoke grass I will never eat one of these again.
'Taco Bell,' yeah, like I ever saw a bell in one of those. 'Bell,' the only thing Mexican about that place is the smell and even then I don't think it's authentic.
Annie's Homegrown Original Flaky Biscuits are best cooked at 325 not 350 and are just about the same as every other biscuit I've gotten out of those can like things. The only problem is that these do not open with a twist. I had to use a knife to open the can so if you can do that then these are fine.
However, I did not nearly crap myself with the can popped because it didn't pop, so there is that as a plus.
Ribs in fast food sounds like a bad idea. I mean, do you eat them in your car with your hands? That would make a big mess. Waba Grill's Rib Plate tastes good but it's a lot of fat and hard to eat with only a fork. If you're sitting down to eat this then you're good, but not if you want it as fast food. I dropped some rib on my shirt because I didn't have a knife.
'Barber Foods Stuffed Chicken Breasts Loaded Baked Potato' are not so baked. The raw potatoes really make this suck. Not that these are all that great if you cook them enough for the potatoes to get baked. It looks so posh but is so disappointing.
Edwards 'S'mores Cream Pie' is a thing you would look at and say 'why would you call it that'. It's a chocolate cream pie with marshmallow topping that is not at all roasted and so not all that S'mores.
I don't no, I mean, this doesn't remind me of summer nights by the campfire. It makes me think I'm just getting fat. The marshmallow topping tasted a bit old.
Little Beijing Tangerine Chicken tastes like orange chicken only with onion and pepper. I can't taste the Tangerine, but then it's no big deal. I think the onion is more so that people know it's not just more orange chicken. I need to stop eating this stuff. So bad for me.
Little Beijing Orange Chicken, must ... resist ... urge ... to ... make ... Trump ... Joke. Orange Chicken is America's favorite Chineseish food. It is best served on a dusty laptop while watching movies on your newer computer.
Don't look at me like that.
Anyway, I'm sure this is bad for me, I'm not sure this is chicken, I can't stop eating it. May be it's best you never try it because you'll love it way too much.
Mexiwraps...Mexiwraps sounds like a bad idea a white person had for a party in LA. Mexiwraps Beef & Cheddar Wraps also sound like a bad idea, but they taste okay. Despite these looking like the whitest Mexican food you can get that doesn't have a green tortilla these are surprisingly authentic. They will have their revenge on the way out. Eat no more than one a day.
I have to admit that Popeye Spinach is good spinach. The leaves are young and dark, and are packaged without being broken. I never thought I'd say good job to spinach but good job.
If you want to lie to yourself and say you had something healthy today "Fiber One Pumpkin Bars" are one way to go. There just isn't enough pumpkin in these bars to make them worth eating and the fact that they are mostly sugar and flower should set of alarms.
Don't go around thinking that these 90 Calorie squares are healthy. Yeah, they have more fiber than a cup of broccoli but you can eat a whole cup of these and keep going. Try to eat a cup of broccoli. See if you can go on to the second cup.
Look, health food is a big problem because if it worked you'd be healthy and stop eating it, so manufactures don't want it to be too healthy.
However, they taste great.
Banza Penne is one of those health foods made of chickpeas. It's about as good as normal pasta but with a few more ingredients that I don't recognize. High in protein and fiber I'm reasonably sure that this is better for you than normal pasta.
I'm honestly looking up the ingredients as I write this and finding them to be okay. So this hippy food is legitimate from all I can tell. Tastes okay too, which is good for hippy food.
Yes, it's true, In-N-Out Burger has a new menu item for the first time in a long time, and it's coco. I can't say it's great. I found this to be small and average with no major point to talk about.
This is also on the pricey side, not that I've ever gotten hot coco at a shop before, and when you look at that small cup it's like 'what's the point'.
I'm not telling you to stay away, but I'm not betting on this staying around.
Patio Bean & Cheese Burritos are best enjoyed without a large black cat standing on your chest. I mean that, it is really hard to eat these with a big black cat rubbing himself against your face.
In any case, these have some flavor but not a great deal. I don't really get frozen burritos. I mean, I guess these are quick but it they are just good for elevating hunger not for really eating.
If you eat just to keep yourself alive then reach for these.
Waba Grill 'Shrimp Plate' is something I've always been reluctant to order, because I don't know much about it, and fast food shrimp is rare for a reason.
First off, if you're going to order the shrimp know that it will take longer than a normal meal. Second, these were stale, warm as apposed to hot, and fishy tasting. All in all, I don't think this is a good idea. If you go to Waba stick to what Waba does best and stay clear of this shrimp. Then, as it still has it's legs, it may come crawling after you.
Chef Boyardee Spicy Beef Ravioli has the same overly soft texture as normal Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli. That is to say it feels like mush in your mouth. It is spicy mush so the label is right save for the fact that I can't call the stuff in these beef.
I recall these being a favored food of the poor because they are so inexpensive. You kind of need to be poor to eat these because they are so far from what Ravioli should be that I don't think I've ever had ravioli that I wouldn't proffer over Chef Boyardee.
'Chef David's Gourmet Sausage Philly Cheese' bring us to the question 'what is a sausage made of? I would generally say meat but Chef David would disagree with me. He would tell you that tomatoes and onions can be a large part of your sausage and it can still be a sausage.
It's not the flavor of these that I disagree with but rather the fact that they are filled with things that feel bad in my mouth and make me spit them back onto the plate.
If I had a grinder I would regrind these so that they get back to the uniformity of sausage. Then you may just like big chunks of things in your sausage. That so sounds like something you should talk to your doctor about.
San Luis Sourdough Sheepherder's Bread is not sourdough. I think the name is 'San Luis Sourdough' and the bread is just white bread without the sour. I'm not big on sour so this was fine. If you could eat boredom this would be what it would taste like.
Is mommy getting too old and frail to do your laundry? Is lifting that big thing of fabric softener to hard for her? Don't have her put down, buy 'Downy Un Stopables' instead. These are pellets of fabric softener that replace liquid.
Lighter and easier to use then the normal slime these are better for the environment because it takes less gas to ship them. I think they work just about as well and you can use them by dropping them in the machine or putting them in the fabric softener nook like normal fabric softener.
I call these a buy.
As you can see 'Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers Portabello Marsele Pasta' is not something I think of as a meal. This would be because it's almost all carbs and very little else. At 230 Calories eating this as a meal will cause you to drop the pounds, but so will starving yourself with any diet food.
Now, these things come with the pasta in a little colander and the sauce in another plastic bowl, so they are specifically designed to kill the environment. I'm saving the little colander to wash my fruit in at breakfast but we'll see if that works.
I will be clear that these are not a bad idea if you have them with vegetables and protein. As they are I wouldn't bet on you losing weight with them.
'Rock View Organic Reduced Fat Milk' was the only milk they had at the store that had an expiration date that didn't make me angry. I would have to say that as reduced fat milk goes this is some great stuff. It tastes just about like whole milk and you would never notice the 11 grams of sugar that give it that flavor.
I don't know how much sugar is normal in milk because I don't normally buy milk. In fact, I only got milk because I needed to review cereal. Still, this is good milk.
So, the new year is on you and your resolution is to stop drinking primarily because of that massive hangover that your sporting and you woke up in a puddle of vomit naked next to Fred from accounting who had on lipstick.
Well, it happens to everyone who isn't Irish because we can hold our booze, but what do you do now?
Reach for some Martinellis Sparkling Blood Orange to get you back in the game because they said you'd get fired form calling off on the second of the new year.
Will it help with a hangover? Yeah, not as well as V-8 but you got this stuff and you had all the V-8 last night.
This is not a sweet as a soda is, tastes a bit like grapefruit. I will point out that it tastes nothing like orange but for a sparkling beverage it's the best one for a hangover that I know of.
