Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Bear Naked Granola Maple Cinnamon


 I can detect no Maple nor Cinnamon in this Bear Naked Granola, but I guess the grain free thing is important. Most grain free foods that should have grain in them tend to make me want to puke, so this stuff is better than the last two grain free things I ate. 

It taste fine. I wouldn't go saying that this is good stuff but it's fine. I would eat this on a hike, but I would not buy more. 

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Carl’s Jr. Santa Fe Chicken Tender Wrap

The Chicken Tender Wrap at Carl’s Jr. is not a thing to get in the drive through because they can take a long time. At least they did for me. I mean, I had to park out front and wait for the thing.

The Santa Fa version of their Chicken Tender Wrap is just the one with the pink sauces and I don’t know what that sauce is but it’s there to get all over the place. I wouldn’t call it good, and I wouldn’t call it bad, but it more just is.

I would say this is more of a soft taco than a wrap but then I guess a wrap has more filling than a soft taco. Also, a wrap should be wrapped around the stuff inside and it was in more of a taco form to me, but it still tastes the same.

 

Monday, January 29, 2024

Merci Dark Cream Chocolate


 Merci Dark Cream Chocolate reminds me of the chocolate moose I had as a kid. The dark cream has a more complex flavor than some of the other chocolates from Marci and its bitter undertone is hard to notice but still there. 

This is a really strong chocolate. It may be the best of the lot or at least close to the best. I would buy more of this where I not a disgusting fat blob. 

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough


 The level of fail you find with Pop Tarts Frosted Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is staggering. The Frosting is the only good part of these. I'll grant that this is a dumb idea to start with. Hot cookie dough is just an under baked cookie. 

This, however, is not as good as a cookie or cookie dough and I would not have thought it was chocolate at all. 

I buy Pop Tarts because I can open the box and still give most of the contents to the homeless. For that reason, I will never stop buying them and you should all read my reviews of them. 

That said, these are okay, but they are nothing like what they are supposed to be. 

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Green Giant Simple Steam Shoepeg White Corn & Butter Sauce


 Really Green Giant, Shoepeg White Corn? I had to look up Shoepeg White Corn just to figure out what it was. I'm not that posh. Shoepeg White Corn is sweet corn known for tasting like nothing but being sweet. I have to ask if the slender kernels reminded someone of the wooden pegs used for shoe making and said 'shoe peg', let's call it that.

This Green Giant Simple Steam Shoepeg White Corn & Butter Sauce is for people who think corn is a vegetable and like to serve it on it's own. 

It's not bad for that but I'd still rather put it in my eggs and have a good time. I have succotash omelettes on the regular. 

This is a fine way to eat corn if you're bland and have picky kids but keep some pepper or hot sauce on the side for folks who need flavor in their life. Past that, not bad. I would get this again. 

Friday, January 26, 2024

Merci Chocolate Coffee and Cream


 Merci Chocolate Coffee and Cream has got to be some of the best chocolate I've had in month. I should stop eating chocolate because I'm fat but that's not the point. 

Here are two things I truly love together in so fine a package. I'm almost glad that there is so little of it in the pack because I know I'll eat all of them.

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Kraft Three Cheese Mac and Cheese Dinner with Mini-Shell Pasta

We all know that Kraft is the king of Mac and Cheese Dinner but their Three Cheese with Mini-Shell Pasta offering is not as strong as their original. 

This is not to say that it's bad in any way but I would say it's less good, and less flavorful. I guess if you're in a less flavor mood this is the ticket. Also, if you plan to add flavor like pepper or hot sauce this would be a better option because other flavors will stand out more. 

Not bad, but could be better.
 

Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Olé Xtreme Wellness Spinach & Herbs 10" Flour Tortillas


These Ole Xtreme Wellness tortillas didn’t taste of Spinach and Herbs. They were on the bland side to be honest. I found them to be soft and easy to use but otherwise uninteresting. If these are better for you than normal flour tortillas then they are a good buy.

I would say that Mission has a better version of this product taste wise but if these are better for you then you need to weigh the options for yourself. I was more than happy to go back and eat more of these, but part of that is I love to make my egg burritos.

 

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

HMR Rotini Chicken Alfredo


 HMR Rotini Chicken Alfredo is very American. Being American it is not as flavorful as it should be were it Italian. I would say this is about as average as Chicken Alfredo can be, and if you want to take it for your lunch it will work as a main part of a meal but will not fill you up. 

I would get this again. It's not bad.

Monday, January 22, 2024

Jack in the Box Garden Salad W/ Grilled Chicken

In the world of salad you can get two garden verities from Jack in the Box. There is the Garden Salad W/ Grilled Chicken and the Garden Salad W/ Crispy Chicken. The Grilled Chicken is better for you but the Crispy Chicken is less likely to give you botulism.

In all fairness, food poisoning can be a great way to lose weight if you don’t mind the explosive vomiting and likelihood of death. This is not to say that I got sick from eating this, but more that the chicken wasn’t freshly cooked and so had been sitting around a wile.

The salad part wasn’t bad being mildly wilted and old. It had cheese and tomatoes with carrots and lettuce. It wasn’t bad by any means. It just also had old chicken that could have had nasty things living on it. I’m so lucky that I didn’t die in an unpleasant and disgusting manner.


 

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Banquet Buffalo-Style Chicken Mac 'N Cheese Mega Bowls


 Banquet Buffalo-Style Chicken Mac 'N Cheese Mega Bowls are not very buffalo. I mean, there is a veg flavor of buffalo. Not that it taste at all like buffalo but more that it tastes almost like someone dropped some buffalo sauce on it and it got mixed in. 

These is passable, they almost tastes like food, and I don't mind them. I would get a few more were it not for the fact that I have so much food to review.

Saturday, January 20, 2024

Birds Eye Teriyaki Cauliflower Wings

For those of you who are too dang fat like I am you may take interest in these Birds Eye Teriyaki Cauliflower Wings. Much like their buffalo version these are too thick, like me, and should be cut smaller to fit in the mouth as a single bite. 

What we are doing here is hiding cauliflower under breading and sauce. The breading and sauce are great, but if the cauliflower is too big it will still be noticeable. 

If you can go with the broccoli version. It's much better.
 

Friday, January 19, 2024

Jack in the Box Garden Salad w/ Crispy Chicken

Jack in the Box Garden Salad w/ Crispy Chicken was on the wilted side. It wasn't bad as salad goes, and I ate the whole thing. It could have used a little cabbage to round it out. There are carrots and tomatoes in this salad. 

If you're looking to eat healthy this isn't the worse choice you can have. Who isn't looking to eat healthy this time of year? People who have given up and are depressed. Where as I am depressed I haven't given up, but I'm going to try every salad the Jack sells. Don't drownd it in dressing and it's just fine. 
 

Thursday, January 18, 2024

Banquet Country Fried Chicken Mega Bowls


 Banquet Country Fried Chicken Mega Bowls have what I could almost call chicken but not fried chicken. Rather this is breaded chicken and it is some sad breaded chicken at that. 

This would have been better if I dropped some real chicken on top but even Chicken McNuggets are laughing at this chicken. The corn and mashed potatoes are okay. The gravy is just there so the worst part is the chicken. 

If you need food fast, these will not be good for you because they take some time to heat up and need to cool down as well. If what you want is to come home, pop one of these in the microwave, and then watch a YouTube video, this has you covered. 

I still would call this food in the very general sense.

Wednesday, January 17, 2024

HMR Crustless Chicken Pot Pie


 HMR Crustless Chicken Pot Pie is honestly one of their better offerings. It has a lot more meat on the cover, but when is that not true, yet it has enough vegetables to at least look good for you. 

This is not going to change your life, but it's good enough to be worth trying. I would still eat it with an apple or some other fruit, this is not a balanced meal, but it's not bad.

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Trader Joe's Jerk-Style Plantain Chips


 Trader Joe's Jerk-Style Plantain Chips are spicy. I'm not the biggest fan of spicy food but these are spicy, and I don't mind them. I don't know what jerk made them, but I guess he's an okay cook.

I wouldn't get these again because they are not my thing, but they are good.

Monday, January 15, 2024

Cali'flour Foods Keto Crackers Cheese


 These Cheese flavored Keto Crackers from Cali'flour Foods are a hardy kind of brittle cracker that you shouldn't shake around too much. They are high in fiber and have a strong salty flavor that will pare better with creamy cheese than the potted meat I use here. 

I have to admit, growing up I almost always ate crackers plane and these have enough flavor to do that. They also crumble up easy to feed to the birds. I like that. I'm forever forgetting crackers and letting them go stale. 

All in all, if you're keto these are good. If you want something to serve your Hors D'oeuvres on these give a strong flavor to compliment a mild food.  

I would say you should try these.

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Tastee Choice Skillet Meal Risotto Di Mare

Made for the lonely who love fine dining Tastee Choice Skillet Meal Risotto Di Mare tastes of the sea and will keep you lonely with fish breath. I mean, who thought this was a good idea? It's rice with fish flavor.

If there was more things other than rice this may have been a good dish. It was light in flavor and unoffensive but lacked body and was un-filling.

This is more of a side dish than anything else and should be eaten with other food. It needs vegetables to make it good and I would even add more meat of some kind. If I had thought of this as just rice and then added in other things it would have come out a good deal better. 
 

Saturday, January 13, 2024

Subway Spicy Italian Salad


 Subway's Spicy Italian Salad looks rather sad when they don't give you the croutons. It looks even worse when you learn that this is a six inch sub's worth of meat, and you could have spent a little more and gotten a foot long sandwich. 

This is why we are all getting fat. We pay more to get less and when we get it it's not that great.

Friday, January 12, 2024

HMR Chicken Pasta Parmesan


 Chicken Pasta Parmesan is one of the better option from HMR so long as you don't inhale it like I did. I mean, why do I eat like I'm starving? Ah, because I'm a fat pig and I grew up in a home where my brother would eat anything good long before I got to it. 

There is enough chicken in this to make it good. There could be more but when is that not true? Being health food it hasn't enough salt to carry the flavor but I  should cut down on the salt anyway. 

This is a win, I should get more. 

Thursday, January 11, 2024

Michelina's Teriyaki Chicken


 Michelina's Teriyaki Chicken is rice with sauce, a little chicken, and almost no vegetables. It tastes okay but it's bad for you. The best way to cook this is to get a frying pan and toss in vegetables with a little oil. Fry them up and toss this in on top. It will flavor and salt the vegetables. 

Eating this on its own is just sad and unhealthy. 

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

HMR Vegetable Stew with Beef


 HMR Vegetable Stew with Beef is about as good as this kind of thing can be. I mean, it was one of the better meals that you can get from HMR. It could use a bit more green than it has, but it's not bad. I would get this again. 

You can also get beef stew with more beef in a can and tale that to work, but it call come down to if you want it hot and good for you. 

When you think about it this is just canned food you get in a microwavable tray. If you don't mind cold food this is not worth buying, but if you need your food hot you can bring a bowl to work and put normal can food in it.

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Subway Cold Cut Combo Salad


They say that Subway is all new and fresh. Well there salad game has gone down hill because this Cold Cut Combo Salad looks nothing like the one I got before the pandemic. I'll admit that I liked it better and feel that I may just get another one soon.

However, it was all the meat of a six inch sub and so not as filling as I would have hoped. I'm a big fellow, and it takes more salad to fill my gut.  

The worst part of subway is the soda. It will make you fat. After that you have the bread which will also make you fat. Here you have food which will not make you fat so it looks to be the best thing you can order there. 

Monday, January 8, 2024

Sarita Imperial Rice & Seed Medley


 Sarita Imperial Rice & Seed Medley is an unseasoned grain product. That means that it is not made for flavor but for being good for you and good for you it is. High in fiber and featuring good fats stuff will help you stay fit. 

You will need to add flavor to it yourself because it's bland and it doesn't have the same mouth feel as rice. The quinoa really changes the texture as you chew. 

All in all, good stuff but not for everyone.

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Humanitarian Daily Ration Vegetable Barley Stew


 Humanitarian Daily Ration Vegetable Barley Stew is something that came in a number of Humanitarian MRE's and is designed to be unoffensive to anyone who is hungry. It's more of a goulash than a stew having less water than stew. 

The definition of vegetables is also a little off, but as most people think potatoes are a vegetable, they're a tuber, the whole thing isn't that bad. 

I'll admit that after eating this I wanted more. It's not bad. I mean, not great, but not bad. We are feeding the hungry with something that people would eat.  



Saturday, January 6, 2024

Atkins Meatloaf With Portobello Mushroom Gravy Frozen Meal


 This time of year we are all setting ourselves up for the disappointment that fuels drinking that comes at the end of the year. Atkins Meatloaf With Portobello Mushroom Gravy Frozen Meal is a sad meal that tells you "I'm trying to drop those pounds so I can eat what I want at Thanksgiving".

What you find hear is not what I would call meatloaf because the flavors are all wrong. Normally there would be ketchup or bbq sauce but this has gravy. The vegetables are few, small, and of poor quality. 

I wouldn't get this again.

Friday, January 5, 2024

Kraft Grated Parmesan Cheese


 They say we should ban this kind of cheese to make America grate again but I think this is fine. Kraft Grated Parmesan Cheese has always been a standard of what we think of as Parmesan. 

You can put this on pasta or salad, but I would give you the salad is better for you.

This is a buy, but you already knew that. 

Thursday, January 4, 2024

Birds Eye Steamfresh Brussels Sprouts

For those of us who need to inject some health into our lives Birds Eye Steamfresh Brussels Sprouts are a good idea. Pop them in the microwave pack and all and out comes these green edible turds. They will never grill up as good as fresh Brussels Sprouts, but if you are sadistic enough to eat these they are fast and easy. 

The truth is that most of us should start a healthy diet with frozen vegetables because fresh ones will rot before be cook them. Get used to eating vegetables at every meal with frozen before you go fresh. 

Steamed Brussels Sprouts don't taste great to start with and steamed from frozen will always we a bit worse. These are still as good as they will be so eat up.
 

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Westbrae Natural Organic Salad Beans


 If you're like me than you're asking yourself how you can eat better in the new year. Westbrae Natural Organic Salad Beans sound like a great option for that. Half a can for one salad. You would need to open three cans to get the same beans in one salad otherwise. 

Truth be told, these are good for you and their only failing is that the beans all get stained by the red pigment of the red beans making this something you only put on your salad if you're eating alone. I would never serve these to a date because they just don't look good. 

If you are only eating one or two salads in a three day period than these are the beans for you. If you are looking for a major bean intake than do what I do and buy all the beans in different cans and put them together in a mason jar and cover them in water.  

If can do that with these beans as well to extend their shelf life in your refrigerator, but that just wont look as good in your salad.  

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Junior's Most Fabulous Brooklyn Blend Coffee

Junior's Most Fabulous Brooklyn Blend Coffee is a medium roast coffee. Basic in nature this is what it says on the bag. I mean, what do you say about a coffee this average? There are no real subtle notes and the smell isn't all that great coffee wise.

It's coffee, it tastes like coffee, and if you like to add things to coffee this is your coffee. Me, I like my coffee to have a little more body than this but I normally drink French Roast. 
 

Monday, January 1, 2024

Jack in the Box Southwest Salad w/ Crispy Chicken


 It's New Years day and you have a hangover but your resolution is to eat more salad. So you walk into Jack in the Box and order this Southwest Salad w/ Crispy Chicken. It looks a lot like salad you would get a the store.

The chicken should really have been cut up and that dressing is crap. It is mildly spicy but just not great. The whole tomatoes don't appeal to me either. 

I would still go with a Subway salad over this. This is bigger and has carrots and beans but is not as fresh or satisfying. It's just not that great.