Foster Farms Mini Corn Dogs

If you had never eaten a corn dog and you ran across these little yellow turds you would definitely never eat a corn dog again.

If you had eaten a corn dog before eating one of these golden butt nuggets you would hardly think of these as a similar product.

This are dry, bland, and hardly resemble the product they are mimicked after. Nasty!

McDonald's Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit

I normally steer clear of McDonald's Biscuits because they get all over the place. I admit they are more filling than McMuffins,

Now the Bacon, Egg & Cheese Biscuit is the kind of thing you should only eat as a dine in option because they do get all over. You shouldn't eat and drive and you don't want bits of bacon lost in your car.

These are also too dry to eat on their own so have a coffee. Oh, and there should be an oxford comma in the name.
 

Taco Bell Crunchy Taco

The Taco Bell Crunchy Taco is what you get when a person who has only heard of tacos makes a taco. In real tacos the meat is put in the tortilla and fried and in these the shell is made and then, um, meat is added with everything else. 

Call this a taco in Mexico and you'll get a lot of funny looks. So why do I love them so much? I have no idea, but I know they are bad for me.
 

First Street Brown Long Grain Rice

They say brown rice is better for you than white rice, but to be honest only just.

Funny thing is that I read a study, not but this morning, saying they can make rice better for you but taking the calories out. I have to ask, why not eat less rice then and give the extra to starving people but science people aren't interested in helping as much as companies are interested in making money.

Anyway, this stuff is reasonable with a seasoning. A little salt and bay are all you need, and I may have cooked it too long, but I didn't notice it over white rice. 

Hanson's Mandarin Lime Soda

The stuff on your left is water, and the stuff on your right is the soda. This is what a balanced meal with soda will look like. Please excuse my exploded hard boiled eggs.

Anyway, Hanson's Mandarin Lime Soda does not go well with whisky. It is not remarkable over other sodas and, in fact, has less of an impact. I would say it has a smooth taste but then that is not what I look for in a lime soda.

Do I look for things in a lime soda? Well, it should be easy to find them given that lime soda is clear.

BJ's Orange Cream Soda

I think this was only the Covina BJ's because I can't find it on the online menu. Past that, it was okay.

BJ's Pepperoni Pizza Dip

I'm not sure how I feel about cream cheese pizza dip. The has to be bad for me and not as good as normal cheese. 

I think this would have been better if they had just made cheese bread with this and left the cream cheese out.

BJ's Great White

The Great White is a pizza with pasta sauce on it, tomatoes, mushrooms, roasted garlic, and chicken.

they say seasoned tomatoes, but they're not so seasoned. This is a lot of pizza, but it falls far short of the goodness that is Costco pizza.

There will be a lot of stuff falling off this pizza and some of it you will want to pick up and put back on but not those bland tomatoes.  

BJ's Pizookie Trio

So a Pizookie Trio is three little Pizookies ... its kind of like a 'fun size' Pizookie bag. If you have three folks at the table then I think this is a great idea. Other than that, get a real Pizookie. You get more cookie and less ice cream with the real one and I think they're cheaper. 

Coach's Oats

Health food is always hard to deal with for a fat beast like me. Oatmeal has never been something on my list of eats. So, why do I keep buying these things?

The truth is that Coach's oats do have a better texture than rolled oats. They're 100% whole grain, like normal oats, duh, and so have all the normal health benefits.

White Chocolaty Pringles

Seen here in what could pass for a healthy meal White Chocolaty Pringles are what happens when you take normal Pringles and dust them with powdered sugar.

I think they would have been better with less salt.

This potato nightmare has a 'Limited time only' stamp. I guess after getting no joy in eating these horrible things I was supposed to be big on the novelty. Even my brother, who is a human garbage disposal, wouldn't finish off the can to these things.

Big K Lemon Line Soda

Big K isn't much for big taste, but then what would you expect out of store brand soda?

It was passable, I mean, not great, but it was not offensive in any degree. If you're having an office party or some other event where folks don't have much interest in their food this stuff will go over well.

If you're not way too cheap to get the name brand I'd get the name brand, because you will never save that much by going cheap on soda.

Trident Seafood Alaskan Salmon Burger

Showing these as part of a balanced meal is a lot harder than I thought it would be at first. Can you really see the burger?

Anyway, I made four of these thinking I would take some to work but when I had one it was all fishy. You don't say, fish tasting like fish, well, you should get your money back!! Now that I've trolled myself, this tasted like old fish not fresh fish. 

So, I stuck most of these in the refrigerator and had them the next day when the fishy flavor was gone. I have no idea how ageing fish makes it taste better, but it did in this case. 

Snapware Food Storage Containers

My brother got these because they were made in America. They don't last, they work great when they're new, but after the third month the tabs start snapping off. 

I feel horrible about saying something bad about this product, but it's the Ford Torus of food storage. Get Rubbermaid, they last longer. 

Green Apple Jolly Rancher Soda

Soda is liquid candy so it make sense that Jolly Rancher would make this stuff. The thing being that it's not that great, goes poorly with absinthe, and it falls short of other apple sodas.  

Then there was the fact that I got this at a big lots so, well, draw your own conclusion. 

Rubbermaid Premier Plastic Wear

Rubbermaid is a trusted name in American made goods and this is no exception. They clean up well, take microwaving and washing, and last long. Now I need to go do something manly for having this much to say about this kind of a product. I think my chest hair just receded.

Pepsi Cola from Mexico

I think that Pepsi needs the same quality control Coca-Cola has over their production facilities. This wasn't as good as American Pepsi. It had a notably bitter flavor that I have never detected in our native soda.

I'm going to have to advise you to stick to the local deal with this one, because the Mexican Pepsi is more expensive. 

California Grill & Bar Smokey Mountain High

Smoked ham, American Cheese, on grilled sourdough the 'Smokey Mountain High' still has a funny name.

That ham just wasn't all that smokey. It's okay, I mean, for a ham sandwich this is great, but the ham was on the bland side.

Now you can chalk it up to me being too picky about names or just shrug it off, but if you're going to have a name like smoky mountain high there really should at very least be a strong smokey flavor.

I'll grant that if you really think about it, this sounds like a pot sandwich. Leave it to say that after eating I felt neither smokey nor high. It's a crappy name for an okay sandwich.

California Grill & Bar Onion Rings

Not being a big fan of Onion Rings to begin with I only ordered these to review them. That said the breading comes away from the onion. Other than that they are just normal onion rings without anything big to say about them. Restaurant food is on the boring side I guess. 

IFT Bakery Popcorn Chicken and Rice

Now I can't tell if this is Japanese. I mean, I would have to say it looks that way, but I can tell that is something I've never had before.

Even the rice was different because of that topping. This is one thing you just got to try for yourself.

IFT Bakery Sweet Tea

I ran into this little place in the Puente Hills Mall. The sweet tea had ice in it but had this funny sealed container with a hello kitty on it.

It was good and it was different so I'd say give it a try if you're in the area of Puente Hills California. 

Ancient Harvest Bean & Quinoa Pasta

Overpriced super food. Look, if you've got the money to blow on this stuff then you can go ahead and blow it otherwise stick to the fresh vegetables and leave this crap on the shelf. I mean, beans you can put on salad and quinoa I dump in the pasta sauce so I'm not getting much better out of this stuff. Whole grains are a thing, but this is a pain.

If you cook this too much it comes apart so it's not like pasta. Pasta is: dump it in the water and go about your business, but this crap you got to watch.

California Grill & Bar Oreo Shake

The best part was the cookie on top. The rest of it was a milky wet nothing that wasn't worth drinking. In addition, it wasn't very cold. Two thumbs down.

California Grill & Bar Ham and Cheese Omelet

I'm starting to think that breakfast food just tastes like breakfast food with very little going on. I should stop ordering things I can get at home.

This is an Omelet, but there is nothing else to say.

California Grill & Bar Hash Browns

Kind of underdone and off the shelf so if you like hash browns then go for it, but don't expect anything good.

Gemelli Organic Pasta Garofalo

It's Pasta! I can't say much else about it other than that it is indeed pasta. The shape of this pasta makes it work well with salads and it cooks about as fast as any other pasta. There is almost nothing in it other than wheat. 


Some have complained that it is not whole grain pasta but to be honest it is much cheaper than whole grain pasta so if you're having this with salad then go for it but if you're having it as a meal may be not.

El Pollo Loco Mexican Cobb Salad

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the average American didn't have something this good for them for lunch.

That said, this is not all that great for you so stop thinking the just because it has lettuce its good for you. 

This salad is okay, I mean, it is filling even if lacking the nutrients one wants in a salad.

I'd say that I should show you what a real salad looks like, but I don't think anyone is really reading this.

Willson! Never again Willson!

El Pollo Loco Legs and Thighs

What to say about this stuff? I like it, and it probably isn't good for me. I recall my brother picking up some coupon and me making four meals out of all the chicken you get.


Try to remember that you can't honestly get much of a balanced meal from El Pollo Loco and that the bulk of what you eat should be plant matter.

That said, I had this as chicken, had it in salad, boiled some to make chicken soup, and all three of those things came out okay. I noted that for what you pay for one meal at Panera Bread I got five at El Pollo Loco but take into account that I added stuff to three of those meals.

El Pollo Loco Black Beans

Not as good as the pinto beans and makes more of a mess. If you like black beans then yes, if you don't then no.

El Pollo Loco Steamed Broccoli

What to do to add something healthy to your meal? Steamed Broccoli to the rescue! I meh at you broccoli. 

It's not as good as steamed broccoli made by someone who knows how to make steamed broccoli. If you can cook for yourself then do so, if not this is an option. 

El Pollo Loco Chocolate Churro

So this broken microwaved turd is masquerading as a churro. Well, in its defence most Americans have no idea what a fresh churro is like. Try it to know it, but don't make a habit of them. They just aren't that great.