Kermanig Bakery Butter Cookies

Kermanig Bakery Butter Cookies are heavy and don't take coffee well. I found this odd because most of the things I get from Kermanig are flat out addicting.

I'd have these with milk if I were you but I'm not a big milk fan myself. All and all, there are better things from this Bakery. Buy accordingly.  

Martinelli's Gold Medal Unfiltered Apple Juice

I ran across Martinelli's Gold Medal Unfiltered Apple Juice at the local discount store. I had no idea what I wanted to do with it but I had it with Fireball Cinnamon Whisky and it really hit home. 

This is what happens when you put apples in a press and then in a blender. Great stuff really. 

My cat liked it too.

Shock Top Lemon Shandy

Shock Top Lemon Shandy is no hard lemonade. It's a reasonable summer brew but not one that will replace Mike's Hard Lemonade.

The Belgian White and Ruby Fresh are better flavor wise but the Lemon Shandy isn't bad. If it comes around then go for it, but I wouldn't go looking. 

Mike's Hard Blood Orange

Mike's 'Hard Blood Orange' is a summer only flavor Mike's that gives color to your party. It's a nice red orange and it that stuff is real it's better for you than normal Mike's "Hard Lemonade".

This is fine if you want to change it up but if I had to choose one I'd stick with the Hard Lemonade. I didn't dislike this and it tasted more like an alcoholic drink but still didn't knock my socks off.

Outback Steakhouse Take Home Packaging

Outback Steakhouse Take Home Packaging rises above the rest by offering you both package and bag to put in your car so that the food you didn't eat get's home safe and sound. 

I think this is an offshoot of their delivery service and has nothing to do with you not wanting to finish the food you order. 

Outback Steakhouse Salted Caramel Cookie Skillet

Pizookie you are not Salted Caramel Cookie Skillet from Outback Steakhouse. You taste old and reheated rather than fresh made and warm. You're crusty, heavy, and not worth the calories.   

Outback Steakhouse The Outback Burger

Now look, I know a cheeseburger when I see one and this is a cheeseburger. You can call it 'The Outback Burger' all you want, but it is still a cheeseburger. 

Come on, Outback Steakhouse, if you're going to call it something funny make it something different. I can get this at any mom and pop burger stand. 

Outback Steakhouse Volcano Shrimp

Outback Steakhouse Volcano Shrimp is breaded fried shrimp topped with mild hot sauce and green onions. If you're hoping for something that will burn your mouth you're going to be disappointed. On the other hand, I could feel a burning and this was good stuff. 

Outback Steakhouse House Salad

If you recall the commercials for Foster's where a salad is a steak with some green on it this will disappoint you. 

Outback has made a workable salad in this house and I guess if what you're looking for is green stuff this will do for green stuff. At almost five bucks it's kind of overpriced, but salads are always overpriced. 

Outback Steakhouse Water

If you order water at a restaurant most people think you're cheap. To put up with Outback Steakhouse water you kind of need to be because this stuff is right out of the sink. Come on folks, if you got bad water add some lemon!

Mike's Hard Strawberry Lemonade

Mike's Hard Strawberry Lemonade is a light, wine cooler like, drink that lends itself to the summer. Like all of the products I've tried from Mike's this tastes lighter than it is and has the alcohol of a full beer but tastes like it's almost alcohol free.

I say this is like other Mike's in that it grows on you so if you think beer is too bitter than have one of these and it will work for you.

Shock Top Ruby Fresh Grapefruit

Shock Top Ruby Fresh Grapefruit is grapefruit beer. This makes it a jerk beer because not everyone can enjoy it with their medication. I do not need that medication, so I can tell you that this is a slightly bitter citrus beer with a strong grapefruit flavor.  

I have to admit by the end of the bottle it was growing on me, and I'm looking forward to my next one. It is a little stronger than the original Shock Top flavor wise and so long as it is not your only beer option I say it's some good stuff. 

Trader Giotto's Organic Red Lentil Sedanini

I got Trader Giotto's Organic Red Lentil Sedanini at Trader Joe's so I have to ask if Giotto is Joe in Italian? Well, anyway, as pasta goes these are kickin'. Only three grams of fiber but 13 grams of protein make these a option for body builders looking to bulk and they have a texture that will make you never want to go back to other pastas. 

These go on the buy list.

Matcha Joe-Joe's

Matcha Joe-Joe's are green tea sandwich cookies that melt in the heat. They aren't that great. I'm considering giving the second box to the homeless.

Corona Extra

Corona Extra is one way of beating the summer heat provided you have lime to make it taste like something other than piss. 

I'm told that lime will take the piss flavor out of real piss, but have never been bold enough to try.

We probably shouldn't by beer that tastes like piss to start with but I needed to try Corona. On the up side I never tried it without the lime and have no idea if it really tastes like piss.  

Jim Bean Maple

Jim Bean Maple is a whisky with bite. I hate whisky with bite but if bite is your thing then you can get bit by something that belongs on pancakes. I wouldn't put this in my coffee and I wouldn't have this in a shot. In truth, I have no idea what to do with this stuff and I know it will kill my liver, so I'm letting it alone. 

Buy at your own risk.  

Venom Energy Killer Taipan Mango

Venom Energy Killer Taipan is a Mango flavored energy drink. Why they call it Killer Taipan I don't know. May be Taipan hang out around mango trees. Anyway, this stuff is good. 

It's about as strong as any energy drink and the flavor is right up there. I have to ask why I never ran into soda flavored this way, because I rather like the taste. 

Now energy drinks and alcohol are dangerous together so don't add vodka to this and get the party going. 

Mike's Hard Black Cherry Lemonade

Mike's 'Hard Black Cherry Lemonade' tastes like soda. I mean it, it's that sweet. I can't say I dislike it but I can't say that it jumps out at me. I would drink more of this and it's a great brew for summer. I think this stuff would get the party going but like Mike's Hard Lemonade it tastes nonalcoholic so it may get your party a little too thumping.

Marley Beverage Co. One Drop Banana Split

Again, Marley Beverage Co. has added 'One Drop' of coffee to their 'Banana Split' flavor and if it wasn't for the lack of coffee it would be a great drink. 

I added coffee ice to this to make it worth drinking and it wasn't enough to get the coffee flavor going.  

Whole Earth Sweetener Co. Pure Via Stevia

Stevia sounds like the name your college buddy went by when he dressed in his girlfriend's close and got drunk. I would get it if you got drunk first, Steve, really, but why the girlfriend's close before the alcohol? 

Come to think of it, why did Steve have his girlfriend's close, and why did I never meet this girlfriend?

Well, anyway, I tried this stuff with some hell coffee I had and it did nothing to stem the flavor of the suck. I took some home and tried it in another coffee drink to add some sweet to the bitter, and it worked okay. 

All and all, I think it's better used with sugar than on it's own, and less sugar is better for you right?  

Urth Caffé The "New Yorker" Sandwich

Urth Caffé The "New Yorker" Sandwich is a Rueben with salad. It said it came with pickles, but I don't see any. Now look, I paid $13.25 and you folks skipped the pickles?

Also the sandwich dripped all over and tasted like almost nothing. 

Epic fail!

Urth Caffé Rude Awakening

Do you like coffee? Do you like it so dark that it will taste better if you chewed the beans? Then Rude Awakening at the Urth Caffé is for you!

This bitter hipster crap is some of the worst coffee I've ever had. Taking the bitterness out with sugar, or that zero calorie stuff I tried at first, didn't help. 

I mean, look, I have my coffee black almost every day, and I didn't care for this stuff. 

Urth Caffé - Los Angeles

Urth Caffé Los Angeles is a repurposed building on South Hewitt Street nestled among umbrellas and across from a park. I found no less then four police officers eating there among the hipsters, and I marveled both at the decorum of mosaics and the price of the crappy sandwich I got. 

Yeah, this is a place for people with more money than folks like me. It is a place for people who drive BMW's and live lives of new car smell and expensive perfume made of whale vomit. 

I guess going there gives me an idea of how the other half lives. 

Gentrification: Building homes that no one will live in. 

Trader Joe's Coffee Syrup

Trader Joe's Coffee Syrup fails at that whole being coffee thing and is really mostly syrup. I would say that coffee and molasses work much better than this Stuff.

Come on people, coffee is the first word. I can get sugar anywhere but coffee sugar is harder to find. 

Mike's Hard Lemonade

Mike's 'Hard Lemonade' is a drink for summer. It's something of a girly drink with a taste that is almost completely nonalcoholic. Don't be fooled, this stuff has as much alcohol as most beers.  

The thing about mikes is that at first you're not impressed but after a wile the heat works on you and you just want another. I'd say that you should have some Mike's around to give to folks on hot days. It works, it really works.

Arizona Soda Shaq Strawberry Cream Soda

Arizona Soda Shaq Strawberry Cream Soda is a soda with some dudes tongue on the can. Who thought that a man's tongue would make you want  to drink this stuff?!

Well, that's okay because the folks at Arizona didn't get the whole soda thing right and made this flat concoction of strawberry punch. It goes okay with vodka but I would never want to taste this sober. Bland, flat, and abundant, Soda Shaq is a pass to the dude you don't like but will eat anything. 

Fireball Cinnamon Whisky

What do you do with Fireball Cinnamon Whisky? Me I had it with unfiltered apple juice to make hard cider. My cat was happy to keep me company as I had this drink.

I think Fireball is a fine product, but what one does with it is a mystery to me. I think I used too much apple juice to go with the whisky. In any case, this is one you need to try once in your life. 

How do you drink it? I'd like to know. 

Blue Sky New Century Cola

Blue Sky New Century Cola is no Coke. You will never mistake this for Coke or even RC Cola. Rather it is totally it's own thing looking very patriotic with at red, white, and blue can. 

I've had better cola than this but not by far and I think that if you run into this cola you should try it, because it's good stuff. I wouldn't put my top alcohol in there but if you're a Jack man, Jack and this hit it off just right. 

Kirkland Signature Irish Cream Liqueur

'Kirkland Signature Irish Cream Liqueur' is made in Ireland and one of the best Iris Creams I've ever had. It works well for those of you who are casual drinkers of the beverage or like to put it in your coffee. Me, I have Iris Cream in my iced coffee a good three times a week. This stuff is almost Baileys and I'm not sure I could tell the difference. 

Mother's Farms Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips

Mother's Farms Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips are heartier than normal tortilla chips but come with a flavor that may not be as neutral as other brands. 

I had one bag and disliked them and a second bag and thought they were okay. 

I mean, meh, tortilla chips.

Alize Coco Liqueur

Alize Coco Liqueur is the kind of thing you drink if your into un-aerated red wine. That is to say it's very French. It's like going down on a French prostitute French. As in, why would you ever do that?!

I feel the same way about drinking this stuff.