Farmer John Hot Louisiana Brand Smoked Sausages

Made in California these are the medium heat version of these smoked sausages. Just so you'll know, without the beer this is a balanced meal. Well, sort of a balanced meal, in terms of macro nutrients a balanced meal.

What part of I'm fat didn't you get the first ten times. I don't eat balanced meals! 

Oh yeah, and that is four, count um, four servings of protein according to the package. Yes, a serving is half a sausage.

It also contains one hundred percent of the saturated fat allowance for a person in one day.

Past that, these are not medium hot sausages but rather light hot sausages. Hot sausages I can't eat. I generally cut these up and put them in salads. They are great for salad so long as you let them cool for at least ten minutes after frying.

One added bonus is that if you cut them you'll be able to fry them without adding any oil. All that fat runs out of the sausage and keeps it from sticking.

If you're going to eat these in a traditional American way keep clear of them. If you're going to eat them with lots of greens they do fine.   

Panera Bread Low-Fat Mango Smoothie

Watered down yogurt is not a smoothie! This big glass of disappointment was at very least smooth, kind of cold and more yogurt than anything else. At 270 Calories I guess it beats a soda, but I'd still tell you to get yourself a nice glass of water with ice to cool down.

A Healthy Meal

Water, tea, mushrooms, Brussel sprouts carrots, and broccoli steamed with black pepper and sesame seeds, hard-boiled eggs, oatmeal with flax, wheat germ, peanut butter, and almonds.

There are things missing from this meal. Understand that nutrition is a hard balance of factors, but this ranks  as an okay on the food index. 

Now, I'm going to ask my Health Coach and Doctor what they think of this but when I say healthy this is what I generally mean.

Panera Bread Thing

I think this is a "Turkey Sausage, Egg White & Spinach Breakfast Power Sandwich", but I'm not sure. Anyway, it's fewer Calories than the Pecan Roll and more filling because of its protein count.

I give it a not bad but not balanced. 

Panera Bread Pecan Roll

Seven Hundred and Forty Calories! Man, no wonder we are so fat in America. Well, it wasn't worth it at all. I found this roll better to the eyes than the mouth. It was on the dry side and I should have warmed it up first.

These were a big item when the shelter I work at was getting a Panera donation and I was happy to get one when they were free. Now that I know how much I was adding to my fat level I'd be less likely to have one. 

Then again, I always feel bad about eating anything from my work because that's for the clients. I mean, sure, they ask me if I want anything, but I always had a funny feeling about that stuff.

Trader Joe's Italian Tortelliny

Never having been a fan of dry whatever this is I tried it for the first time and wasn't impressed. If you give pasta too little cooking time it just comes out okay, but this stuff comes out harder and chewy.

The thing being it's kind of in a little knot that has to really soak before it comes soft. Now if you do cook it right normal pasta is about as good. This stuff is different so if you eat a lot of pasta it's a change.

I put pasta in salad so that's why I tried this and its more trouble than its worth.

California Grill & Bar Baby Back Ribs

These are Baby Back Ribs, just like you get in any other place, eat accordingly. 

California Grill & Bar Sweet Potato Fries

Sweet potato fries are one of those things that are supposed to be healthier than normal fries. Sweet Potatoes are better for you than potatoes in most regards.

This make sense, start with something good end with something good, right?

The truth is, you're still eating something bad for you so I'll point out that they taste good. I'm not willing to give up normal fries for these things, but they are a welcome change.

California Grill & Bar Steamed Vegetables and Garlic Bread

My understanding of a vegetable is a leaf, stalk, or stem. This is carrots which is a root and zucchini which is a fruit. So with no vegetables in these vegetables and no spice or other flavorings they fall short of good. the garlic bread is okay but you put it all together and the food is just sub par.

This is just one of those things that tries to trick you into thinking it's healthy when it's just a lesser evil.

Wild Turkey Forgiven

I am not a whisky drinker by any means. We got a bottle of this the day one of my cats disappeared. 

I haven't had it in shots so keep that in mind as well. However, mixed with root beer or cola this stuff hits the spot, and it should because it's pricy.

I give it a plus but then I didn't have to open my wallet.

Panasonic Eneloop Pre-Charged Rechargeable Batteries

Made in Japan and keeping enough power to run anything that needs up to a D Cell these babies kick mud maker. I got a mess of them at Costco some years ago and they quickly replaced both standard and all other rechargeable batteries in my home.

I've been using them for years now with great results and they are reliable enough for me to use in my work flashlight. Further, they hold a charge and light my flashlight longer than normal batteries. 

California Grill & Bar California Sampler

Well, here you have just enough of three things for two people to know what they taste like. As the most expensive appetizer on the California Grill menu, this thing is an insult to my intelligence. Granted, I'm not that smart. Then I have to say I got four reviews out of it and my brother paid for the thing. Next time I'm going to try to talk him out of it, but then I haven't seen how small the other appeteasers(that's what they call them) are so they could be worse.   

California Grill & Bar Zucchini Parmesan

When you grab your zucchini and the breading falls off that is not a good sign. Past that I found this California Grill & Bar Zucchini Parmesan passable, not great, but passable.

California Grill & Bar Buffalo Wings

Buffalo Wings drowning in goop with a slimy texture. I will admit that Buffalo Wings aren't a big thing for me to start with, but I don't think this is how it's done.

California Grill & Bar California Skins

A potato skin with cheese, bacon and some other stuff you'll just wipe off. A plate of these artery cloggers will set you back about eight bucks.

These things are not bad to the mouth, but they are horrific to the body composed of fat and starch.  Eat at your own risk.

Lenmar AA to C size Adapters

So, I needed C cells for a bullhorn and I stopped buying normal batteries because they've destroyed hundreds of dollars of my electronics.

What to do? 

Use adapters like this to make my rechargeable AA size batteries work in a C size hole. This will not work with your little soldier so get your head out of the gutter.

These little numbers work well. The batteries lock inside but is still easily removable, and the adapters are only slightly larger than a normal C cell battery.

Warning: this may not work in all devices as they are not the right size per say and the contact site of C batteries is much larger.

Almond Joy

This third stringer of candy is something you get in variety packs if you don't have a taste for them already. If you don’t like coconut keep clear. After eating one or two you wind up with some coconut dregs in your mouth then you have honestly eaten nuts and spit white stuff out. I have heard people give these out to children they don’t like, but free candy is free candy to most kids.

Bailey's Chocolate Cherry

This is one of the many Bailey’s flavors my brother insists on buying before he complains that he’s spending too much money and blames me for something or other.

Bailey’s Chocolate Cherry is not something you put in coffee. It works okay on its own, but there is little reason to put it in coffee as the cherry doesn’t compliment the coffee at all.

Red Rain Energy Shot Orange

Well, it’s very orange flavored. To be honest, it tasted like the time I juiced and orange as a kid. It works no better than normal Red Rain Berry but then I’m a caffeine addict.

Trader Joe’s Roasted Plantain Chips

With more than four times the Potassium to Sodium, these chips are a great way to get electrolytes on the go when you can’t get your hands on real fruit. They are still calorically dense and will make you fat. Top that with the fact that you can’t stop eating them and they don’t sound so good.

I also put them on salads every now and then, and they can go okay with that as far as I can see. I’d try these if I were you, but I’m not you unless you’re me and if you are you’re too fat.

Black Toad Dark Ale

This is an English brown ale with a strong thick head and sipping quality that I very much enjoy. I’m not a beer man, mind, but try to keep beer on hand for friends when they come over. There is a bitterness to this beer. It’s not a strong bitterness, but it is there. If you’re not a beer lover then this will be too strong for you but if you are it will be a real pleaser.

I’d give this three thumbs up if I had three thumbs.

Tyson Buffalo Chicken Strips

Lacking the crunch of something deep fried and only being okay on the best of days these things are a pass. I only got them because I was feeling down and thought they would help my mood. I found them … moist.

Lean Pocket, Turkey Broccoli and Cheddar

So, this is a Hot Pocket dressed up like health food. It is in no way healthy food. From a standpoint of a balanced diet this is just a blob of protein and carbohydrates needing vegetables and fiber. Yes, it has broccoli but not enough to really balance it out much. So if you had this with two carrots, and apple, and some mushrooms you might have a good meal.

The only problem with that is that if you had the time for that other stuff you wouldn’t be eating a hot pocket.

Fair Trade Sister’s Blend Coffee

I’ve been ordering this on the regular for years, and it's not the top of my list but very near to that spot. Dark, distinct, and effective this coffee is grown at a worker-owned cooperative and the proceeds go to women’s charities. If you like coffee you will like this, if you don’t like coffee there is something wrong with you.

Hormel Chili with Beans

That white stuff is cheese that I foolishly dumped on this not at all chili like substance to make it more palatable. This is the world’s number one chili? It’s horrible if you undercook it, editable if you cook it right, and so laden with salt that it will make you sick if you eat it two days in a row.

Nasty crap should have a warning label. 

Kit Kat Dark

Well, it won’t kill you like a normal Kit Kat so it’s better, way better, but it will still make you fat. I will say that my life is more complete now that I’ve eaten these things.

Anti-slip Velvet Suit Hangers

Well, they break easily. That’s kind of the big thing with hangers is that if you need to be gentle with them they’re not worth the trouble. I broke one just by handling it on the first day. So these are hangers, crappy hangers. Not much else to say.

Kit Kat Bar

Um, Polyglycerol Polyricinoleate is in my Kit Kat and it will enlarge my liver if I eat too many. Oh, Kit Kat, I once loved you, but now I will never give these away to holloweeners again. That’s just nasty. I grant there is nothing in this world that can’t harm you in too large an amount but why do you have to put this synthetic poison in my Kit Kat bar. Oh. It makes you money. Killing kids for profit, well, that’s human.